Howling at the moon

I don’t know how you are coping in this world as it gets more claustrophobic & constricted by the day, but I’m gagging.

My greatest solace & soothing at present comes from good friends who are not afraid to speak openly & question.

Within the confines & I do most certainly mean ‘confines’ of daily life I am floundering. The voice that I switched off many years ago seems to be demanding now to speak, but the society which created the need for that, is not at all receptive. I seem to be biting my tongue a lot, I am angry at work, I am angry at how hard it it is just to get by & I’m furious that I have allowed myself to settle for such a ‘little life’ – if I were a wolf right now, I’d be howling long & hard at the moon.

I am in the process of reading a book called the Birth of Pleasure by Carol Gilligan. It is an exquisitely elegant & heart-filled book that I recommend to all whose souls are crying out. It deals with the loss of our voices & our deep fears that pleasure always leads to pain & many other wonderful, wonderful things that need to be said & heard.

I was reading a little at lunchtime at work today, it’s too rich to read too much at once, when I came across this quote from Luce Iriagary, a French feminist :-

“What I wanted from you, Mother, was this,
That in giving me life
You too remained alive.”

The reason I include this was that it resonated deeply. When I have looked back on my none to brilliant childhood & thought’ if there was one thing I could change about that time, what would it be? The answer has been that I would have wanted my mother to be alive – now she was vertical & breathing, but that’s not what I call alive – I imagined a mother who had vitality, energy & a life of her own, because that would have meant that I could have had one too. I didn’t need magical powers or money or toys or whatever. As long as I was unrestricted I had no doubt that I could make my life whatever I wished. And that’s the thing, we don’t need all the gimmicks & the time saving devices & the entertainment if we are unrestricted.

Unrestricted, we would have the all the monumental creativity, ingenuity, humour & friendship to ‘MacGuyver’ any situation & have a bloody good time to boot.

That’s it I just needed to howl out some frustration. Feel free to join in.

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July 15, 2008. Uncategorized.

5 Comments

  1. Michael Skaggs replied:

    What a beautiful photo of a wolf! (As I write this I have two large photos of wolves in front of me on my wall).Indeed, the energies are beginning to feel “claustrophobic” and closing in, howling might just be in order! I too have been saying at work (out loud no less) “That’s it, I’m done.” Meaning many different things when I do say it, but it feels better to get it out. I think I would join you in a conjoined wish for time with my own mother…as a single mom here in the U.S. with two kids, she worked 3 jobs most of our early childhood, so I don’t remember spending much time with her. I often wonder what that would have been like…Cheers for the howl!Arrroooooooooo!!

  2. wise woman replied:

    Great thanks Michael, we could synchronise watches & just go for it – wonder what Haarp would make of that…We’ve been so trained by tv especially from 20 or 30 years ago, to see Americans as wealthy – your story seems like it belongs to a poorer country – must have been real hard growing up like that.Thanks for your howl.

  3. wise woman replied:

    This ‘howl’ is from Julie who prefers to email. “As for ‘holding your tongue’ at work… Man I am finding it harder and harder each day. Sometimes I feel like standing on my desk and yelling ‘WAKE UP PEOPLE’ INSTEAD OF GOSSIPING AND PUTTING PEOPLE DOWN WHY NOT READ A GOOD BOOK, LIKE….. THE STARS ARE FALLING OR THE BIGGEST SECRET OR THE HOLOGRAPHIC UNIVERSE ETC……. but I know that I would be looked upon as a freak, but that little spark inside me thinks ‘Let them think I’m a nut’. However, how would that affect my son when they cart me off to the asylum LOL.”Thanks for speaking up Julie.

  4. indras net replied:

    that helped in clarifying some of my personal experiences and im glad ive come across this post. I feel the current age of environmental concern is rooted in these feelings as well. The microcosm and the macrocosm. Our eternal mother is strong though, I do beleive she will hold strong. great post, i love personal synch logs and such. Be well- kevin

  5. wise woman replied:

    Hi KevinSorry I didn't see this sooner – many thanks for your comment & glad to have you join us!

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