“I had a crush on Pete Duel, was devastated by his death on New Years Eve
I still have a suitcase full of Pete Duel stuff I collected, even after all these years I still can’t bare to throw it way“
“Pete’s death had a huge impact on me, which has been with me ever since. It is a marvellous show and the world lost someone special the day Pete died“
“Omigod I’m normal after all- there are others like me who pine for Pete. Thanks for keeping the show alive.“
I don’t know if you remember Alias Smith & Jones, but I just loved it as a kid. Somewhere along the line my mother told me that ‘Hannibal Hayes’ (Pete Duel) had shot himself because of an argument with his girlfriend. Like so many other things since then, I never thought to question it because I ‘bought‘ that explanation 37 years ago.
I’m not exactly sure why Pete Duel came to mind again. It was something to do with my post on Twinsel Town – perhaps the sound of his name that fitted so perfectly into that ‘twinning’ theme – ‘Duel’ or Dual. I wondered about continuing that post in the same vein, but got pulled in a different direction. Like the quotes shown above, I too have always held something unsettled in me regarding the ‘unacceptableness‘ of this man’s death – perhaps it is too easy to buy into an actor’s character, but for me this man was too full of life. I have since read that Pete Duel was far more serious than the character he played, with a passion for nature & conservation.
Because he came to my attention I decided to look at the circumstances surrounding his death. I very quickly got the wtf feeling. He ‘apparently’ committed suicide on the 31st December 1971, under a christmas tree.
“When I was 10 my favourite show was Alias Smith & Jones. On December 31st 1971 the star of the show committed suicide by blowing his own head off under the Christmas tree, As a child this made me think why would someone do this at such a special time? It still bothers me today“
“On the Thursday night he died, he and his girlfriend, Diane Rey had watched his weekly show. Ms. Rey went off to bed in the house they shared while Mr. Duel stayed up to watch the LA Lakers battle the Seattle Supersonics in basketball. Sometime after midnight, he came into the bedroom, picked up his .38 revolver and told Ms. Rey he “would see her later.” Then he walked back into the living room. Minutes later, Rey heard a shot and found Duel dead in the living room.”
“No note was found and Mr. Duel had called his answering service that very evening to schedule a wakeup call at 6:30 A.M for an 8 o’clock studio call“
I had no desire to go prying into this man’s death but felt it important to take a look at his death certificate – in the top right hand corner of the death certificate we find a cluster of familiar numbers
Date of death – December 31, 1971.
Time: 01 33
Filming had just been completed of the 33rd episode.
There’s no way all this would slip past questioning minds these days, but back then we were learning how to ‘buy’ what we were told.
From wiki: “Alias Smith and Jones began with a made-for-TV movie of the previous year called The Young Country, about con artists in the Old West… Roger Davis starred as Stephen Foster Moody, and Pete Duel had the secondary but significant role of Honest John Smith” …well who can pass up an opportunity to check up on a name like that (go on just take a quick peek)
Interestingly, in AS & J – Pete Duel still retains the name ‘Smith’ as his alias, though this time he is Joshua Smith
Looking at other tv programmes that he appeared in in 1971 we find;
–A Passing of Torches (1971-Marcus Welby MD)
A quick search reveals that to ‘pass the torch’ is – “to relinquish (responsibilities, for example) to another or others“
“Torches are an emblem of the Passion and the Betrayal. They were carried by troops, led by Judas Iscariot, as they came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane”
-“The Name of the Game” – The Savage Eye (1971)
– “The Merv Griffin Show” …. as Himself (1 episode, 1971) – Episode dated 3 December (so just a few weeks before he died).
“In symbolism, the griffin combines the symbolic qualities of two solar creatures, the lion and the eagle. It is the king of birds and lord of the air united with the king of beasts and lord of the earth. Griffins are a symbol of the sun, wisdom, vengeance, strength, and salvation…The griffin was also an embodiment of Nemesis, the goddess of vengeance and retribution, and turned her wheel of fortune.
The griffin’s dual nature led it to be associated with Jesus Christ, God and man, king of heaven and earth. The eagle half of the griffin signified Christ’s divinity and the lion half represented his humanity. During the Middle Ages, griffins were symbols of Christ’s resurrection.”
Pete Duel’s death occurred on 31st December (1971) – New Year’s Eve – the final day of the Gregorian year. If you are not familiar with this date it is because you have no doubt spent your life in a hut on the moon. This is one of the biggest ‘created’ times in our lives – here is a link I made earlier, a quick scroll down gives all moon hut dwellers an insight into the orchestrated hype that surrounds this time.
“The largest events in the world are focused on:
Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo
Valparaiso “last year…more than two million visitors witness the largest fireworks in a natural setting … a total of more than 21 kilometers of fireworks on the bay, from the commercial port city of Valparaiso to Concon, Chile“.”
In this modern world of ours we have found we need to blow a hole into next year (& God know’s what else) with colourful explosive pyrotechnic devices at this time.
A little further info for visiting moon dwellers.
“New Year’s Day is the first day of the new year. On the modern Gregorian calendar, it is celebrated on January 1, as it was also in ancient Rome (though other dates were also used in Rome). In all countries using the Gregorian calendar, except for Israel, it is a public holiday, often celebrated with fireworks at the stroke of midnight as the new year starts.
“Fireworks (devices) take many forms to produce the four primary effects: noise, light, smoke, and floating materials (confetti for example). They may be designed to burn with colored flames and sparks. Displays are common throughout the world and are the focal point of many cultural and religious celebrations …Fireworks were originally invented by the Ancient Chinese for entertainment purposes, as a natural extension of the Chinese invention of gunpowder“
New Years Eve 1971, gun powder blows a hole through the skull of Pete Duel.
“In Roman mythology, Janus (or Ianus) was the god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings and endings. His most prominent remnants in modern culture are his namesakes: the month of January, which begins the new year, and the janitor, who is a caretaker of doors and halls.”
“He was considered to be the “god of the gods” and guarded all kinds of doors and gates. This god was also invoked at the beginning of sacrifices and is therefore thought to have had something to do with beginnings in general”
“According to Macrobius and Cicero, Janus and Jana are a pair of divinities, worshipped as the sun and moon, whence they were regarded as the highest of the gods, and received their sacrifices before all the others. Janus and Janua are variant forms of Dianus and Diana” – his girlfriend Diana lives & Pete dies.
Images of Janus are easy to recognise – he is depicted with two heads looking in opposite directions – Pete Duels exits this world by blasting a ‘gateway‘ through his head.
This article is a dip into something much bigger – however it was always my intention to post what I could on the day of Pete Duels death. I found the following snippet & link which widens this theme for me – however I am limited with time at the present & so post simply for your perusal & interest.
“Let us look now at the esoteric symbolism of Janus, especially in connection to arcane Christian Mysteries. A curious document expressly representing Christ in the form of Janus shows a cartouche painted on a detached page of a fifteen century manuscript found at Luchon, in France. This painting ends the leaf for the month of January in the prefatory calendar of the book. At the summit of the medallion is the monogram “I.H.S” (for Hiesou, Greek for “Jesus”) surmounted by a heart.
The rest of the medallion features a bust of Janus and his dual function in the harmonization and blending of his/her dual nature. The two faces represent a male and female; they both share one crowned head, which we will discuss later on. The male figure holds a scepter in his hand and his female counterpart holds a key.” Full article link follows if you are interested –
“The Gregorian calendar is the most widely used calendar in the world today. It was first proposed by the Calabrian doctor Aloysius Lilius, and decreed by Pope Gregory XIII, after whom it was named, on 24 February 1582 by the papal bull Intergravissimas…”
Pete Duel was born on 24th February (1940) “
…The intercalary day in a leap year is known as a leap day. Since Roman times 24 February (bissextile) was counted as the leap day, but now 29 February is regarded as the leap day in most countries.”
I apologise if this tale is a little meandering, there is a wider theme that will be looked at in the next part. At the moment I am writing this on New Years Eve. I do not know if & why Pete Duel killed himself, but trails lead in many directions. I do not know if sacrifices are hand picked, if the key is to be found in the numbers or stars of their birth, if nasty secret societies need to feed their agendas or some kind of dimensional energies are at work. However when looking at the circumstances leading up to & surrounding the death of this man, I do not feel the element of free will.
A few weeks ago I happened upon a DVD of the first series of AS & J, after a certain amount of umming & ahhing (well research can be bloody expensive) I bought the set & have been been making my way through them ever since.
The introduction which I remembered word perfect from childhood tells us that neither of the outlaws ever shot anyone. Incidentally this beginning is narrated by Roger Davis, the actor who replaced Pete Duel in the show & who had starred with him in the original movie The Young Country.
Thus far there has been an episode where we are told a 17 year old girl committed suicide – the story turns out to be fabricated – 17 reversed gives 71 (the year of his death) plus perhaps the message that there was no suicide.
Another episode is entitled “The Man who murdered himself” – a really poor excuse for a storyline with a search for the remains of a mythical race of 7 foot Indians – bones are eventually found in a cave & Hannibal Heyes (Pete Duel) is requested to lie down beside them to gauge their height – I found this image & the episode’s title very disturbing.
The 12th episode is entitled “The Fifth Victim” in which Pete Duel is shot in the head. In this episode, unless my maths is worse than I thought, only 4 people are shot, 3 are killed plus Hannibal Heyes (Duel) is wounded but pulls through, so who I wondered was the 5th victim?
Pete Duel came from a very long line of doctors & it was thought he would follow in the family footsteps, instead he became an actor – not an easy career choice however “On his arrival in Hollywood in the mid-1960s, he struck pay dirt almost immediately in semi-heavy roles.” For Pete Duel the doors swung open very easily.
I shall leave this article here for now. For this part I’m trying to draw attention to the timing of his death & why that might have been. We are right on the cusp of yet another year & all the hype, drama & heightened tensions of that event makes me wonder very much about the timing & details of an event from 37 years ago & just how much effect it had on the psyche of the people of that time. My feelings & research & the words & feelings of others suggest that even though many years have passed the events surrounding this man’s leave-taking require an honest gaze.
In the meantime & on the anniversary of his death I offer these words & intent “Go with Love, Peter Deuel”
c.1432, “otherwise called,” from L. form of alius “at another time, in another way,” from alius “(an)other,” from PIE *al- “beyond” (cf. Skt. anya “other, different,” Avestan anya-, Armenian ail, Gk. allos “another,” Goth. aljis “other,” O.E. elles “otherwise, else”). The noun meaning “assumed name” is first recorded 1605.
While out strolling a little while ago, a bank caught my eye & set in motion a train of thoughts that has chugged down an interesting track – so all aboard the Financial eXPress for a journey through our monetarily rail-roaded existence.
I got to wondering about the effects of banks – those sanitised & intimidating buildings (all too often filled with sanitised & intimidating employees). In particular, I wondered, what emotional energy is generated when we gaze upon them?
I achieved full visual recognition of banks many years ago, well I had to, they had all my money – I can spot my bank at 30 paces or should that be 30 pieces (of silver). I’ve avoided them (where possible), queued in them, grovelled for money in them, but never ‘thought’ about them until now.
I’m presuming most people will have, during their valuable lives, cast, as I had done, many a glazed eye over the frontages of these institutions. I’m presuming that you will have given little, if any, thought to the effect that glance may have cost you.
On this particular day I wondered if the actual building could be a kind of emotional catchment area – the bank that caught my eye had a kind of a steeple-come-obelisk, reminding me of a church.
An apparently greater power than us resides within those walls & we’d best keep our noses clean if we want to avoid their wrath. Something akin to our life blood, flows within the walls. It is perhaps not surprising that blood storage facilities are called ‘blood banks’.
The Story, sorry I mean History tells us that banks were invented by the Italians in the 15th century & the word bank goes back to the Germanic ‘bank’ meaning ‘bench‘ “referring to the bench on which one sat while discussing loan arrangements and cashpoint charges.” The author of the last sentence made an additional comment – “Interesting to see the word bank disappear and reappear centuries later in another country.“
This four letter word, also refers to ” A steep natural incline… An artificial embankment…To pile up; amass: banked earth along the wall“.
Lets see what a river bank creates –
River banks contain & channel water – that wet stuff that falls out of the sky all over the world, but gets collected & concentrated within land banks.
Fresh water (like money), is not spread evenly across the world, but concentrated & channelled – naturally or artificially.
Human beings collect around banks whether filled with water or money – the flow of one is essential, the other has been made essential to the continuation of life as we know it.
Our words for water & money are interchangeable – as well as banks, we have current accounts, currency, deposits (money or silt), cash flow.
The word affluent flows back in time to;
“1432, “flowing,” from L. affluentem (nom. affluens), prp. of affluere “flow toward,” from ad- “to” + fluere “to flow”. Notion of “a plentiful flow” (of the gifts of fortune) led to affluence in the sense of “wealth,” first recorded 1603.”
In the system of Feng Shui (translates as “wind-water”), the Chinese believe that “Chi” or the naturally occurring life force energy within the environment is able to be harnessed to bring good fortune and create healthy, beneficial conditions.
“Qi (Chi) rides the wind and scatters, but is retained when encountering water” …
… so interest-ing that money is dealt in watery terms. Perhaps a Reserve Bank be called a “reservoir”? And then of course there’s the word dam(n) as used when one is swept away by a deluge of bank charges.
If we look with our ears we find a familiar & esoteric sound in these syphonic institutions – Bank… Bank… B ank…B ank(h) or ‘Ankh’
I’d copied the line above, from a Feng Shui site because I very much liked the feel of both energies being equally powerful. Somewhere along the way it got moved under this image of an ankh. It seemed determined to stay. So stay it has.
The following excerpts are gleaned from a number of sites;
“The Ankh is considered by many as a symbol of fertility and often used to represent enduring life in generations to come. It is also know as the Key of the Nile, representing the holy union of Isis and Osiris. This mystic union is said to start the annual flooding of the river Nile, and thus providing the peoples of Egypt with the many fundamentals of life in that time.“
“The symbol is also a hieroglyph which represents the sound ´nh (ankh) and the word “life” or “breath of life”.”
“Many depictions of the gods and pharaohs of ancient Egypt are depicted holding the ankh by the loop, or to bear one in each hand crossed over the breast. Egytian gods such as Ptah, Osiris, Isis, Anubis, Bastet, Khnum, Set, Horus, and many others are often drawn holding the holy symbol. Many Pharaohs were often depicted in the same manner and buried with an Ankh in front of his face to symbolize the breath of life“
“The Ankh was often linked with the Djed (representing stability) or the Was (representing strength) to form a powerful amulet thought to invoke the god’s protection over the bearer.”
“The djed is an Egyptian symbol that is depicted as a column with a broad base and capital. At the top of the column the capital is divided by four parallel bars. The image has been interpreted in several ways“
Whilst reading Catastrophobia recently I was most interested to read the notion that the Djed column symbolises the axis of the world & when displayed being held at the angle shown above it depicts the current tilt of our world – 23 degrees (lets not fight about the other half a degree).
“The Ankh was, for the ancient Egyptians, the symbol of life but it is an enduring icon that remains with us even today as a Christian cross. It is one of the most potent symbols represented in Egyptian art …“
“It is at least interesting that the ankh word was used for mirrors… many mirrors were shaped in the form of an ankh sign. Life and death mirror each other, and in any number of ancient religions, mirrors were used for purposes of divination.” “… since death was considered the mirror of life, the glyph also symbolized the underworld.“
“In Astrology the Ankh is used to represent the planet Venus. In Alchemy the Ankh represent the element of copper. And in biology this same symbol is used to identify the female sex.“
So what about that symbol that buzzed in & bedded down with Venus to create the institution of bondage known as a B-Ank(h) ? That’ll bee the letter ‘B’
“Bet, Beth, or Vet is the second letter of many Semitic Abjads, including Phoenician, Aramic, Hebrew Syriac and Arabic alphabet. This letter’s name means “house” in various Semitic languages…The Phoenician letter gave rise to the Greek Beta, Latin B & Cyrillic Б, В “
So a bank is a house/building with a cross on it – hmmm where have I seen that before?
The message associated with this next little chap is that he should have listened to his other brothers & stayed home from the market to prevent the temptation of spending – also reducing the risk of having ones house huffed & puffed by loitering wolves.
“Usually, in Buddhist iconography, the pig represents desire in all its forms. This ranges from identification with one’s body, through a general love of material possessions, as well as the lust for food or sexual satisfaction. Therefore, the pig is 1 of 3 animals depicted at hub of the Buddhist Wheel of Rebirth — in both a figurative and a literal sense. That is, they symbolize the impediments to our release from the round of rebirth, and they are: desire/attachment (the pig,) anger/aversion (the snake), and ignorance/confusion (the rooster.)” All in all a canny subliminal choice for the financially railroaded populace.
Moving right along…well actually getting back to where I started – on my walk that day, even before I started playing with the similarities of water with banking, I wondered if invisible energy swirled & was caught & dam(n)ed around B-Ankhs – you know just like in the way that Van Gogh could see.
Are the feelings & emotions created & felt in B-Ankhs held within their walls, in the same way our time is (once it has been alchemically transformed into coppers). Could those ornate bits of paper we call dollars, pounds & whatnots, with their little magical sigils be couriers of energy, returning it time & time again to B-Ankhs, just as the bee returns to it’s home laden with ‘gold dust’.
There was something else that kept me ruminating upon these institutions – the fact that so many were to be found on street corners – time & time again I spied B-Ankhs straddling street corners. Lets return to Feng Shui;
“CUTTING CHI If chi energy passes a sharp corner it begins to spin and swirl, forming eddies and whirlpools like a fast-flowing stream passing a sharp bend. This is called cutting chi and can occur inside or outside buildings. It can make you own chi energy swirl, leading to disorientation and confusion and, in time, ill-health.”
Allo, allo, allo, hello what ‘ave we ‘ere then?
Perhaps B-Ankhs simply want prime position, but I’m not quite sure why. After all, they’re ‘a necessity’ – we’re going there whether we like it or not, plus their logo’s are soooo tattooed into our psyche that they really need not worry about being seen – we’re always gonna find them. However… as an ever present reminder of our place in the hive, they do a fine job. So I ask you, how & what do you feel when you spy a bank?
This corner thingy got my attention over a number of weeks. I went out with my camera to snap some corner B-Ankhs just to show I wasn’t being overly imaginative, when I had an intriguing find.
Here sitteth the National Bank ( something to do with Lloyds, England – has the same black horse in a circle logo – my short-sighted gaze fell unsuspectingly on it the other week & turned it into a swastika!!- very interesting). So I snapped happily, when lo I realised there was another bank beside it & then f**k me, there’s a new one across the road, nestled into yet another corner.
Then you could have knocked me down with a feather, two more banks completing the ‘block’ – which of course meant ending with yet another B-Ankh on another corner. Following on with our energy theme we spy a recruitment agency nestled in the bosom of these banks called Kinetic – I guess it has heaps of potential.
Now perhaps an embankment of B-Ankhs is the norm where you come from, but I remember when this parade had shops & even an arcade on it – somewhere along the way a financial tidal wave flowed through & left a whole lot flotsam. Lets return to Feng Shui;
“FAST – FLOWING CHI Chi energy moving quickly in a straight line can destabilize the flow through a entire building, so long corridors, straight paths or several features in a straight line should be avoided. Fast-moving chi energy directed towards you could push away some of your own chi energy, making you feel insecure and under attack.“
What makes this particular set of B-Ankhing quins so interesting is the large erection that towers over them. I use the word ‘erection’ quite deliberately, for I am far from the only female to make the comparison – I travelled far & wide (well ok not that far & wide – but it was tricky trying to find a place to take these blurred shots without getting squished on the motorway) – it seems to me that this building is designed to be viewed in all it’s phallic glory as one descends the Auckland Harbour Bridge. The design is actually very neatly done & if I was an architect I’d probably be very impressed.
The arrival of all five banks at this location & the completion of this building seem to have happened in the last couple of years. The erection has a very fitting name, it is called The Sentinel – it’s views are imposing.
A little wordplay with Sentinel led to the etymology of ‘sentry‘ – 1611, originally “watchtower;” perhaps a shortened variant of sentinel – which brought to mind the ‘Watchtowers’ in The Hidden Agendas ‘Enochian Magic’ posts.
“If the house is in alignment or in rhythm with the landscape, a good healthy life force is created…”The landscape of our surroundings has become concrete buildings and the rivers are now represented by roads… Some businesses begin to collapse soon after a road, a bridge or another building is built because a change of traffic or landscape of buildings could transform an area from good to bad or from bad to good …Originally the Chinese Emperors made used of Feng Shui skills to win wars. The formulae were later disguised and the secrets hidden inside the formulae.“
OK we need to take a couple more corners before we hit the home straight (which would really be better off with a bend in it).
Some other corners;
“a temporary monopoly on a kind of commercial trade: “a corner on the silver market“
“a predicament from which a skillful or graceful escape is impossible; “his lying got him into a tight corner“
“gain control over; “corner the gold market”
force a person or an animal into a position from which he cannot escape“
“The cornerstone (or foundation stone) concept is derived from the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure…Over time a cornerstone became a ceremonial masonry stone” …This in turn derived from the practice in still more ancient times of making an animal or human sacrifice that was laid in the foundations.
“A cornerstone (Greek: Άκρογωνιεîς, Latin: Primarii Lapidis) will sometimes be referred to as a “foundation-stone”, and is symbolic of Christ, whom the Apostle Paul referred to as the “head of the corner” and is the “Chief Cornerstone of the Church” (Ephesians 2:20).”
You will undoubtedly have been asked in your splendid & wondrous life “what bank you belong to?”
Rephrasing that question we get closer to the truth “What bank are you the property of?”
I was in ‘my‘ B-Ankh today – I put my senors on full alert to see what I could feel – the funny thing is I couldn’t feel anything – I noticed the dividing line of the cashiers embankment, yet got the strangest feeling that there was nothing happening – people on either side appeared to do business & yet for the life of me it felt like I was watching a strange version of the Emperors New Clothes – a grand game of pretending that something valuable was being exchanged.
The etymology of the word afford is rather precious – it simply & grandly means – “to accomplish, to further” – I hope you can afford many great & wonderful things in the days & weeks ahead.
A congregation of Bank ‘managers‘
For some reason the other day I recalled a short story my son wrote when he was about 11 years old. He & his classmates had been given the daunting task of writing a short story that started with the following phrase ‘Honey sticky, sticky honey’ – I thought this was abysmally cruel, at least they could gave been giving something ‘interesting’ to work with.
My son did what any child or adult can do, but all too often don’t – he took something flat & dull & created a sparkling & witty gem.
This little offering is simply a reminder of the creativity that lurks around the door of every blessed human being. This work was his all own, except I made a couple of slight suggestions towards the end. It’s great fun, I’m sure you will enjoy it.
“Honey sticky, sticky honey. We shall protect and prevail. Our hive will live once more,” pronounced the Commander Bee.
It was the ‘Great War Two’ or as the soldiers called it the ‘Great Sting War’. The hives on the north and west side of the country teamed up and called themselves the ‘Venoms’ and the south and east side teamed up and became the ‘Stingers’.
Just then the sirens sounded. It was an air-Raid. Venom bombers appeared over the horizon. A group of ten Stingfires were dispatched to protect the proud Bee People of Abdomen City. The rest of the public flew to the shelters.
Charlie Foxbee was stationed on the SS Intrepid, a large aircraft carrier that could hold twenty-seven bomber bees and thirty-seven fighter bees. He watched as the ten Stingfires dropped like flies or, more appropriately, like bees. Then the ship loudspeaker sounded telling all bees to abandon ship as a buzz bomb was heading straight toward them.
After that he was stationed on the ‘Abdomen Front’. A freezing terrain which was being attacked by the Nazbee’s. Unfortunately bees could not survive such temperatures so once again Charlie was moved, this time to the SAS (Special Air Stingers), where he was assigned an assassination attempt on the Nazbee leader Adolph Feeler. The mission was unsuccessful.
Two months later the SAS base was wiped out after a direct hit by a Doodle-Bee-Bomb. Winston Hivehill was outraged and organised a surprise attack on the enemy occupied N.E.H (North East Hive), codenamed Bee-Day. Fortunately Charlie was on leave from the force at that particular time but was recalled after the counter attack on “Sting Harbour”.
Prince George and Queen Mairbee were very nervous, as ‘Venoms’ had already taken over Normanbee and Pollen-ed as well as the increasing damage caused by kamakabees
The Italian leader Beenito Mussolini invented a highly trained squad called S.W.A.T (Special Wasps and Tactics) to destroy the N.E.H Resistance which ironically Charlie was helping at the time.
But once again he lived to tell the tale. Then came 1945 and with it the end of the war and ‘V.BEE Day’
And so ends the story of Charlie’s adventure.
I’m taking a day off work for rest & recuperation. I’d thought I might add a few pics to the side panel of my blog & instead got drawn into the powerful world of weaving.
I very much like the image of ‘weaving’ ideas, words & images.
Weaving creates patterns – each work is unique, the colours & designs chosen are highly individual. Wonderful word-pictures are created & the soul of the weaver shines through.
I have a feeling that a new type of communication is being born.
Word-pictures, feeling-thoughts, fractal-emotions woven on a loom that is itself in the act of being created.
Although I speak English, I am finding two very different forms of it in my daily life – the accepted structured formula of societal conversation,
& the deep, rich, harmonious, lively & colourful communication that sparkles among weavers or willing wonderers.
“Myths of weaving exist around the world as metaphors for creation.”
“ The spindle is often an axis mundi and its whirling whorls serve a cosmogonic function. Plato, for example, had a vision of the great goddess Ananke, “Necessity,” spinning the universe; the sun, moon, and planets were her spindle’s whorls; sirens sang through the webs of time and fate that she wove, and souls endlessly moved through the strands on their way to and from death and rebirth. Many goddesses are spinners and weavers: the Fates of ancient Greece; Athena, also of Greece; Neith of ancient Egypt; in Teutonic myth the Norns spin secret meanings into life;
“In the beginning, there was the dark purple light at the dawn of being. Spider Woman spun a line to form the east, west, north, and south. Breath entered man at the time of the yellow light. At the time of the red light, man proudly faced his creator.
Spider Woman used the clay of the earth, red, yellow, white, and black, to create people. To each she attached a thread of her web which came from the doorway at the top of her head. This thread was the gift of creative wisdom. Three times she sent a great flood to destroy those who had forgotten the gift of her thread. Those who remembered floated to the new world and climbed to safety through the Sipapu Pole the womb of Mother Earth.” (Southwestern Native American creation story).
As I roamed the internet seeking out weavers, I realised I was digging into the deep creative essence & felt refreshed. Lately I have felt parched at work – the atmosphere feels so dried up, creative energy is a ‘waste of time.’
Generally weaving seems to have been a female tradition & I’ve been wondering just how much things have gotten back to front – what is life without creation. I read the following two quotes & felt quenched –
“The arctic peoples believe that everything has a Mother and that all of Nature is ensouled. The most important Mothers are Mother Earth, Sun and Moon. The Sun was always female in the north – the Sun’s lifegiving power after the long dark winter is experienced as the life-giving warmth of the Mother’s womb.”
“It should be noted that the monotheistic male god has no female mate, or consort — and this may partially explain why the majority of the most deeply troubled and war torn areas of the earth involve that god’s rigidly repressed followers, for they have been denied all access to the Divine Feminine; many, in fact, pervert any healthy relational contact with the feminine — this peculiar perversion is embraced alike by fanatical males, whether Jews, Christians, and Moslems. Unfortunately, their indoctrinated women too often cooperate in their own debasement.”
Earlier in the year I posted a link to a tale called The Wild Swans. In the story eleven princes are cursed & transformed into swans. When their sister finds out she seeks a way to break the spell. Eventually she learns what she needs;
“You can break the spell if you are prepared to suffer,” whispered the fairy. “You must collect stinging nettles from a graveyard and knit eleven shirts from their soft flax. When you have finished them all, throw them over your brothers and the spell will be broken. But beware! Until you are finished you must not speak or laugh.”
I felt a connection to this story & for want of a better image have held in my mind an idea that those who seek & weave truth are working on a similar quest, drawing together threads from a multitude of sources & directions to weave a spell-breaking fabric.
I came upon the rather interesting image below – “Human “spiders,” free, playing effortlessly in their cosmic webs”
Is life a web that somehow we have gotten trapped in – have our non-stick shoes lost their special coating? Is the spun web something our consciousness is familiar with & is that why we’re so drawn to the new world-wide one?
If we cannot spin our own tales & weave our own way through life can we ever really connect with it? My own feeling is that in order to connect with something we have to take it into ourselves & somehow make it our own.
Does knitting show us the pattern of life -could one needle symbolise our selves & the other the world? Is the wool the fabric of life? Do we need to take hold of life again & again, unravelling & reshaping it to our own specifications – or is that heresy?? Are we just supposed to bow down before the wool? Did someone tell us that the sheep gave it’s wool that we might be warm & then told us in the same breath that it is too sacred for us to touch? Has the wool well & truely been pulled over our eyes?
I wonder if life is calling, if perhaps it has been calling for a very long time, to grasp hold of it & shape it according to our will – calling for us to become spinners & weavers again.
Some weeks ago I wrote about a book that suggested that humanity is in the throes of remembering the cataclysm that once nearly destroyed the earth & that all the present apocalyptic stories are more to do with this, than as a forerunner for another ‘naughty humans’ punishment.
A couple of weeks later I had an intense personal experience. In order to write this article it means I have to give away some information that I might prefer to keep to myself, however I have to say that keeping things to myself has not perhaps worked so well for me in the past, so maybe it is time to let go a little more.
Despite the twinning messages of the ‘rich & famous’ & ‘catastrophe’ that bombard us daily from each & every media outlet, our lives generally go on as they always do. I believe most people carry great personal pains & struggles within them. Most of the time they are carried silently, without complaint, accepting the generation upon generation premise that ‘life’s a bitch so get used to it’. I no longer accept this crap & will travel whatever routes feel right in order to experience whatever truth is.
The other week Michael from Hidden Agendas posted the 20 Keys of Conscious Creation from The Divine Matrix (Gregg Braden) – numero 18 had this to say
“The root of our “negative” experiences may be reduced to one of three universal fears (or a combination of them): abandonment, low self-worth, or lack of trust.“
For me this was spot on & my experience of a few weeks past really brought this home to me.
I have carried round all my life an almost living feeling of abandonment & betrayal – it follows me through each & every day – we are like conjoined twins. I cannot give a good enough reason from this lifetime to explain it & yet up until a few weeks ago I would have delved into my past & pulled up some examples & believed surely these must be the reason.
It was two intense feelings of abandonment & betrayal, in one day that finally did it for me. I must add here that these are my personal feelings, which more often than not methinks have bugger all to do with what actually happens.
On that day, two friends seemed to pull the rug out from under my feet – the first opened up the flood gates & the second unleashed the tsunami. I reached a saturation point when I could no longer contain-ignore the feelings as I normally do. I found myself completely engulfed in a combination of intense dread & whole-body nausea. I remember trying to make a dash for the bathroom, but something seemed to happen to my vision & the walls in my house seemed to be moving & I felt sure I would crash into them. I did make it to the bathroom & just crashed onto my knees – I remember the sound , but did not feel the pain. I got through that, but the searing intensity of that event turned my life upside down – never have I felt anything like that before. I have felt panic & fear but this was way beyond either of those.
Later, I talked to my son for a while as I’ve learned that is a great way to ground myself & I was able to absorb his sense & calmness.
Nevertheless the intensity stayed with me through the next day. At work I took myself off to the warehouse & engaged in hours of manual labour as I went over & over the feelings of the night before – what had happened? I had emailed a friend earlier trying to describe the feeling & had said it was like being marched off to execution. As I worked with my hands & let my mind wander, that thought returned & somehow it ‘clicked’ – had I re-experienced another time, another life where I had been betrayed & executed? While this may sound melodramatic I have to say that it did not feel so. As I mentioned previously, I have walked daily with a sense, an expectation, of betrayal & abandonment that I have accepted because it’s always there, but done my best to ignore or drown out. I have always had an intense dislike of anything to do with executions. However I had never connected the two until the that full-body sense of dread overpowered me.
How would you or I feel if someone came to take you away to execution, especially if it came about through a betrayal of trust. I am tying these two notions together because my body did & I have for some time now felt that our bodies are a treasury of memories & knowledge which we have forgotten how to access.
Another possibility is that these are not my past life memories but a genetic imprint passed down through DNA. Whether it be this or something else again, these feelings have impacted my life & I have restricted the paths I’ve walked, because of them.`
Last night I went for a walk, I was feeling some of the chaotic emotions, which I have been working with lately. I thought about how it feels for me – how my particular form of intense emotional pain manifests – the thought-feeling came of having my heart ripped out. This led on to thinking of the Aztec sacrifices, something I was deeply interested in, during my teenage years. So I wondered some more. There must be many, many people who might describe their feeling of deep emotional pain in similar terms – could that particular emotional feeling of pain, have manifested itself through the Aztec rituals – could the emotional feel of having your heart ripped out of your chest have somehow created a physical counterpart? Does what we feel, get transformed into a physical story?
The more I look at life as a multi-layered story the more it makes sense – stories emerge where before there was a nonsensical jumble of unrelated occurrences.
What if our stories are just waiting for us to hear? What if our lives having been telling & retelling our stories throughout this & other life times? What if it’s now really important that we listen, because there are things we need to do, instead of just rehashing the past.
So as I walked last night, I mulled over my Aztec ideas.
I saw within my life how I have twice experienced what could have been a personal re-enactment of an Aztec sacrifice ritual. I have had two children, both born by cesarean section. My first child died & I almost bled to death with him. A little over a year later my son was born, this time all went well but immediately after he was taken out of my body, I experienced an intense pain in my chest (it was by epidural so I was awake) – this pain was so bad that I needed several injections directly into that area to numb it – I had forgotten about this till last night. Was my body telling me about a story that I needed to remember & heal because if I don’t, I can’t break out of an endless cycle. Is that what this present time is about – a chance for our own personal healing?
My son suffers from something akin to irritable bowel syndrome. Now I have been looking at things like diet & lifestyle, but last night I wondered if his body is telling a story. Some years ago I had to rush him to hospital where he had his appendix removed. I thought of how we would describe his symptoms – gut wrenching, stabbing? – what if his body is telling him about some terrible wounding he experienced in a previous life. He is very interested in the World Wars of the last century. I’ve noted he has often referred to bayonets. Could surgical operations be a way of re-experiencing past woundings or guttings?
I have a friend who suffers from Asthma. Again I let my mind wander – first it went to the gassing in the nazi concentration camps, but then quickly I found myself in the trenches of WWI, recalling what I have read about the terrible gassing that took place there.
“The British Official History, after a gas attack stated, “90 men died from gas poisoning in the trenches; of the 207 brought to the nearest dressing stations, 46 died almost immediately and 12 after long suffering.“
“Estimates are that approximately 113,000 tons of chemical weapons were used from 1915 to 1918, killing some 92,000 people and injuring over one million people.”
What if the great numbers of asthma cases now, are people whose bodies are re-enacting horrendous physical & emotional suffering from these times. Or perhaps a life lived in the coal mines or some other such inhuman existence where breathing was a ‘luxury.’
What happens to the intense energy created by hideous suffering & death – where does it go?
Does it stay with us, locked into DNA or does it become part of the ‘collective unconscious’ or is it trapped in the aether?
Does this energy need recognition & transformation?
What if this present time is not about ascension or moving onward or upward to the 4th, 5th or 600th dimension. What if it’s power lies in the potential for healing that makes moving anywhere else unnecessary. Perhaps what we are trying to escape from is simply our own wounding & wounded. Perhaps healing is what we came here to do. Could it be that the multitude of diseases we are seeing throughout the world are stories & the more we refuse to listen the more insistent the story tellers become because that is our way home.
I mentioned these ideas to my son & we talked of cancer, one of today’s most prominent diseases. He suggested that it could be a re-enactment of the plague, because he felt there was a similarity in the percentage of people affected. When the ‘c’ word is mentioned it is often related to ‘lumps.’
From wiki: The total number of deaths worldwide is estimated at 75 million people, approximately 25–50 million of which occurred in Europe . The Black Death is estimated to have killed 30% to 60% of Europe’s population It may have reduced the world’s population from an estimated 450 million to between 350 and 375 million in 1400.
The plague is thought to have returned every generation with varying virulence and mortalities until the 1700s. During this period, more than 100 plague epidemics swept across Europe.”
Where did the emotions generated by this awful suffering go? Does the energy just disappear because people die? Or is it here with us today seeking to be transformed by us instead of being locked into a vicious cycle of destruction?
Are our memories resurfacing? Is there a thinning in the veil between past & present? Is it possible that our bodies & their emotional stories are seeking to be heard? If this were so it could be a good reason why the PTB are creating such havoc – daily churning our already chaotic emotions to drown out that which we need to see & feel & hear. This could also explain the constant onslaught against our bodies in the form of poisonous foods, vaccinations, pollution while our minds are programmed & overloaded.
I also find it interesting how readily people are to talk of their physical illnesses & yet how how unacceptable or shaming it is to talk of emotions & feelings which perhaps are the real wounded story-tellers. Would illness be necessary if we understood & honoured our own stories? I also find it interesting that story-telling has been taken out of our mouths & hands & is placed into a few ‘talented’ writers in this world. The types of stories, the correct use of words, the creativity is the sole rite of a very small section of society. Yet I have never come across anyone who knew or could tell my story, sometimes I have seen glimmers, but you can’t travel very far on a glimmer.
I have always found much healing in the honesty & straight talk of others & that is what I decided to post this article. We are all story-tellers every day of our lives. At present it seems that are bodies are doing the telling but perhaps one day soon we will step up & tell our stories so that we don’t have to keeping swallowing the bs called history.