Last year I did not ‘do’ Christmas.

I had read an article by Matthew Delooze on Christmas & it just hit home. As I have a son I could not not do something, so I thought it through & suggested we have a special day on the 24th to celebrate all our achievements of that year. I recalled a fun expression from an Eddie Izzard stand-up & so ‘Fantastico‘ was born.

When I looked back over that year I had so much to celebrate – a return to living & a decision to stand up & speak out as best I could. Throughtout that year I had done what was for me, many, many impossible things.

So instead of celebrating according to set traditions, we went just a little wild.

We put photos of our holidays on the walls & wrote big long lists of all the wonderful things from that year – anything & everything that made us smile, was valid. Decorations were mostly tropical flowers as reminders of Hawaii. My son still got presents & we had nice food. Some of my family joined in & I believe my young niece & nephew rather enjoyed it.

What’s more it was most interesting to wander around the world on Christmas Day without being caught up in it – it felt a little like walking in on someone else’s dream.

When my son was small we lived in England, I was separated from his father & I remember one year when he was going to take him away for the festivities, I decided to do that Christmas alone. I remembered hearing stories of people who had committed suicide because they were alone at Christmas, so I figured if I did one Christmas alone I would never fear the pain of solo Xmas’ing. I actually had a bloody good day, with a nice meal in the evening & I still remember the movie I watched that night with much fondness.

So I just thought I’d mention this.

I see so much frustration come from Christmas, so much hope & often so much let down. I spent years trying to figure out how to get back the pleasure that I thought I recalled from childhood, but now I think it was us, the children of yesteryear who created the magic with our imaginations & playful energy. It is children who make Santa real – what is that all about anyway?? Why do we need that?

I still recall a girl at school being so distraught because she had just found out that her parents were ‘Santa’ – little did she know that her emotional outburst also burst my bubble that day – I did my best to soothe her while dealing with my own feelings of having just found out who Santa was. Because of that I could never bring myself to create the Santa illusion for my son, I couldn’t just tell him Santa was bollocks, but I did my best to keep him out of the limelight.


I understand that there are many who enjoy the Christmas season & I wish them every happiness & all the goodies they could wish for, but there are many who suffer in one way or another at this time & my wishes go out to them too.


December 1, 2008. Uncategorized.


  1. Devin replied:

    wise, what a “fantastico” set of thoughts in regards to the over-consumptive orgy that is Christmas!I am so glad my family keeps it small and simple-we just exchange a small amount of inexpensive-but meaningful gifts-mine that I would usually like to have are books. We then donate food to the less fortunate families-usually this happens a few days prior-and unfortunately here in the states i expect there to be many more of these this year-it makes me incredibly sad. As bad as my personal financial situation is-I am so incredibly fortunate-Christmas for me is about celebrating the wonders and mysteries of life.Peace and be well!-Devinps I caught myself before I would have to do a comment under a comment as always happens at MFM-I was sadly not surprised about the shopper being trampled to death in a discount store on Black Friday-frikkin disgusting-what are these folks priorities in life?

  2. wise woman replied:

    Hiya DevinLOL leave as many comments as you like – you're always welcome!It sounds like like the spirit of humanity runs wonderfully through you & your family – I remember reading a comment of yours once about how much you appreciate them & that really stuck with me.All the best to you & to them.

  3. Jenn replied:

    Lovely post wise, and at our house it’s called “Stiquendo Day”! That name evolved from Stick Window Day–the day we would take down all our tiedye tapestries and strips hanging in the house and dye new ones to replace them. No gifts, just good food, friends, and fun. When it’s all finished you stick them in the window so everyone can see–Stiquendo :D

  4. wise woman replied:

    Hi JennThat sounds marvellous & I love the name play. Its interesting to see how we're sold the idea that there's only one type of Christmas & everyone does it the same way – I love yours & Devin's approach.I hope you'll post some of your Christmas Tie-dyes :)

  5. Know Nothing replied:

    My sentiments exactly. I want nothing more than to quit christmas. My family would never go for it, but it has always disgusted me. I love having an excuse to spend time with my family, I just hate that it has to be under the guise of what I see to be a lie.I wonder why we think it is ok to introduce mythological entities to our children, and then take them away? Do you suppose this does good things for the parent child bond? Perhaps its the beginning of the rift many families experience? I love your idea, and I will try to plant the seeds of change this year.

  6. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Hey Wise!Great post! Fantastico certainly sounded like it had a ton of energy behind it! I remember one time being sneaky and spying one night when I was little as my mom told me Santa was close by and was going to leave gifts. I snuck around the corner to see my mom, and grandparents filling the tree. I was in such shock that is was not Santa–go figure childhood trauma number “whatever” right? LOLLove the ‘Futurama’ santa you put up! Some of those episodes really are hilarious! Your reference to Hawaii makes me think of the 1st Futurama episode with XMas, where they went to cut down an XMas tree and it was a “palm tree”. Hmmm. :)Great ideas–visionary ideas mind you! Must have the energetic emotion behind any great idea to get it off the ground, I look forward to many Fantastico’s to come!Cheers!Thanks for sharing.My validation word is outpught [output?]

  7. wise woman replied:

    Hi Mr KnowThanks for those thoughts. I have wondered about the whole Santa thing because it is an out & out lie & I think alot of children are hurt by the fact that their parents have lied to them esp as kids take what their parents say as gospel – I can see it's a 'tradition' that's been handed down, but so often once we grow up we end up repeating the same patterns – I wonder if that girl i mentioned followed the same pattern with her kids.if you get excited about doing 'Christmas' a bit different then your family may well catch on to that, that is what I found with my son.All the bestHi MichaelOh man that must have been a real blow! – I wonder how many traumatised children there are every year – you know I was kind of smiling as I wrote this which reminds me yet again of how distanced us 'adults' get from the 'seriousness' of childrens emotions – EVERYTHING to them is soooo important, while we just see it as 'cute'. Who we are now has been so shaped by experiences like that – is that why the Santa lie exists I wonder?? Perhaps Futurama was saying a lot more about Santa than we realised – how many children has the myth 'gunned down'?Hope you can squeeze in a Fantastico for yourself :)

  8. Know Nothing replied:

    Hey Wise,I thought of your post today, and thought I’d drop this by. I was typing an email, and noticed the spell check correct my capitalization of christmas. As my own little rebellion, I am going to NOT capitalize christmas.Look out world, here I come! Take that establishment!

  9. wise woman replied:

    Fantastico Mr KnowI like that very much – will do the same! Cheers for that

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