Loyaulté me lie

In case you don’t speak old French (shame on you), I shall translate the heading (of this article) & motto of Richard III, for you. It says;

“Loyalty binds me”

Along time ago when I was very taken with the third Richard, I thought this was an admirable sentiment.

This morning I had a huge turn about in thinking.

I have struggled enormously over the past couple of months with something I won’t go into. It has been one heck of an emotional ride, akin to being dragged repeatedly over very sharp rocks without protective gear. I am tired through & worn out.

However as a sleuth I have not shirked my inquisitorial duties & so have made a study of my feelings along the rocky way. The hardest bit perhaps was not understanding the whys of such intense feelings.

Anyway today I felt like I finally got my hands on the bastard in the driving seat of the jet boat that has pulled me over way too many (g)reefs!

…Oh you are just not going to believe this!! Here am I on starting off on a combined rant & personal exorcism & up pops the most amazing sync – well thank fuck for that, I thought I was going this one alone!

Here you go, this is what happened.

I went looking for a yacht, boat or ship called “Loyalty” to festoon this article with – actually I’ve been researching ships lately & funnily enough they have been ones pulled across rocks! Anyway I found this (& only this one!) mind you.

It’s the HMS Loyalty & I thought I’d just have a wee browse of her history. Wiki had this to say about that;

Fate: Sunk on 22 August 1944 by U-480

aha! I thought that would raise a few historical eyebrows!

For those of you without historical eyebrows, let me give you a little clue – that was the date that ‘a king called for a horse’.

Wiki tells us that 22nd August, 1485 =

The Battle of Bosworth Field, the death of Richard III and the end of the House of Plantaganet.

… and that my friends rather echoes the conclusion I came to today.

That loyalty not only binds us, it can also be the the death of us.

Now I feel I have a certain experience in this matter of loyalty or what I have understood loyalty to be (& this may be the crux of the matter). It is the meaning behind the words that we swallow that seem to dictate just how much nourishment or indigestion, we are to experience.

When I swallowed ‘loyalty’, I swallowed a covenant. It said that once I had accepted a connection to someone, I was ‘bound‘ to them. This bondage demanded an acceptance of their words. The trouble is that I have been gifted (or often it feels like, cursed,) with an exceptionally clear vision of other’s feelings or intentions. What has resulted has been an endless splitting of myself in two – the one who sees versus the one who swallows ‘words’.

Now for those of you who readily jump in here with a few words of logic to cure my silly dichotomy, let me make a small BIG statement. Logic IS bollocks. Show me where logic has ever overridden emotion & I will show you a photograph of a large herd of swine reading this article.

Let’s continue.

Unbeknownst to me, this idea of loyalty has actually been surfing my semi-consciousness for a wee while now. In the research for the article that I thought I would be writing here, I found myself reading a book on QEII’s (the woman, not the ship) 1953-54 world tour of her outer empiric provinces. What this unbelievable book seems to record is a loyalty fishing trip (unfortunately none got away).

The Prime Minister of NZ of the day welcomed the fisher-woman with these words;

“Your Majesty will be left in no doubt of the deep loyalty and affection which the people of New Zealand bear towards you.”

… & just in case there are any sniggering Australians in the audience, here is the Queen’s parting (italic) words to OZ

Our thanks go to you all for your welcome, your hospitality and your loyalty.(Good on yer mate :)

Both this & another book in similar vein, enthused endlessley on la reigning reine’s loyal subjects.

Warning if nudity or graphic images offend, please scroll past the next part, (really, really fast).

For those of you made of hardier stuff, let’s look at some loyal subjects in a variety of revealing poses

Oh sorry were you expecting pictures of nakedness!

I thought we’d undress the words instead;

Here’s a couple of subjects in a fetching black & white noun get-up

subject   early 14c., “person under control or dominion of another

Or how about a subjective verb-ish ensemble

late 14c., “to make (a person or nation) subject to another by force,” alsoto render submissive or dependen

Doesn’t it just make you feel so wanted?

Now how about loyalty (or should we spell it loyal-tie?)

c.1400, from O.Fr. loyalté (Fr. loyauté), from O.Fr. loial, from L. legalis “legal,” from lex (gen. legis “law“)… Sense development in English is feudal, via notion of “faithful in carrying out legal obligations.

Perhaps we can rephrase the term loyal subjects into a more telling format – how about …

 … “a person/people who have submitted to a law that is not their own & who thereafter remain subjugated by agreeing to swallow what they are told.”

It is not for no reason that loyalty has been placed upon a very great & noble pedestal

We may smirk at the strange loyalties of others …

 … and forget to look at just where,

… and to who,

… we have given our own.

How many people would go to war without the feeling of loyalty to ‘their country’? How many people would stay in jobs, homes, families or relationships without that overpowering sense of loyalty?

But what is it?

From where I’m trying to look, it looks for all the world like something inhuman. From over here it looks like one of them Greek gods – all shiny & big & bright with a bloody big stick behind his or her back ready to smote the first subject who shows the slightest sign of reluctance.

I’m wondering if loyalty has a numbing effect on the eyes & ears & hearts of peoplekind. I have found in my own life, a very great difficulty in seeing truthfully, what I have felt ‘heartfully’ – a definite reluctance to be ‘disloyal’, to the extent that it has sometimes taken me years to be willing to see what I already knew.

I suggest that loyalty requires possession – at least the type of loyalty of which I’m attempting to speak of. Some kind of ownership -membership is implied. You belong to someone or something. A sale of some kind has been made –

 “sell O.E. sellan “to give,” from P.Gmc. *saljanan (cf. O.N. selja “to hand over, deliver, sell“.

We have handed over some part of ourselves to a country, a relationship, a family, a career, a society etc.. What’s more, we are actively encouraged to do this.

But did you notice what loyal looked like when it was undressed?

from L. legalis “legal,” from lex (gen. legis “law”)… Sense development in English is feudal, via notion of “faithful in carrying out legal obligations.

Why is the law & legality lurking behind loyalty? I have seen enough human kindness to know that it occurs in spite of & not because of, all things legal.

Why is loyalty to one’s country deemed so important? Why is allegiance to your country’s flag so sacred? Why is marriage based on sexual loyalty, while a myriad of mindless cruelties are totally tolerated? Why will people put up with years of abuse rather than speak out about what they have endured? Why do most of the population put up with the increasing restrictions to life without a whimper ? Is it because of loyalty to a world view which they have swallowed?

Is it because we have been numbed through a false ideal called loyalty? Is it because loyalty is more than an ideal? Perhaps it is a cultivated disease of the soul. I say this because there is one thing that I seem to have noticed without fail, when loyalty is part of the equation.

And that is this – where loyalty rears it’s possessive head, self caring & nurturing go out the window.

Loyalty seems to demand that you give of yourself, ALL of yourself. Truly I find it strange that Jesus had a problem with Peter denying him three times, when in the cause of loyalty I find I can do that to myself within the same number of minutes. And I’m bloody sure I’m not alone.

Have you noticed that the most touted of human greatlinesses always involves us denying ourselves for a greater cause? What if there are no greater causes? If loyalty has to be marketed through stories & hi-stories & moronic moral-ic media-cations, then perhaps it is not a natural human condition.

What if it is, & always has been, a far, far better thing to live & live well, than to die, (or die slowly daily) for someone else’s ideals, no matter how ‘Nobel’ they seem to be?

December 7, 2009. Uncategorized.


  1. Jaspal replied:

    Thank you for another wonderful literary insight, I do hope that whatever troubled you bothers you no more.Loyalty binds me… looking at the French words I see 'me, lie?', spin the M around and we get 'we lie'. And bind can be bound, which makes me think of Prometheus Bound, the one who gave us fire/knowledge being punished by 'the Gods', also takes us back to Mary Shelly and her book, 'Modern Day Prometheus' (I still haven’t worked out the link between her Green Osiris dead man and Prometheus).The law has been on my mind too. Lately, I saw a film called 'Law Abiding Citizen', where a man takes the law into his own hands and starts killing lawyers after they make a deal with the killers of his family. I also wrote to a paper in response to an article which claimed that it was against 'societys law' for people to start their own radio station, I replied back asking when I, or society, had ever agreed to this law, and that the only people who this law served was the government who could regulate what people said. Where does the right to enforce law come from? Why do all these lawyers around the world sign up to the BAR association? I always think of Gandhi and his message to ‘not cooperate’, how could a law be enforced if lawyers, judges and policemen don’t enforce it?I don't recall if I ever told you about my friends Uncle who took the Bank of NZ to court and refused to pay his mortgage. He refused because it was a bond, with his name in capital letters (this is how slaves were traded by the British, and the British had claimed to have ‘abolished’ slavery), and argued that as the bank had created the money out of thin air, he didn’t have to pay it back. He won, but is now trapped in NZ as a ’freeman on the land’, they might not let him back in if he leaves. He fought some other cases as well, such as the wrong flag being raised on ANZAC day, and the legality of the Treaty of Waitangi due to the word ‘Sovereign’ being mistranslated. During his court case, he actually had the Governor General, and the Queen, in default! If this women has nothing to do with your country, then why is she linked to the activities of the Bank of NZ.Funny that I was thinking today about the Royals and their right to rule, the ‘divine right of Kings/Queens’. In all the research I’ve done since my 3rd eye opening, I’ve heard various theories, from being related to Jesus and the Pharaohs, to Icke’s ‘reptiles’, and I just don’t know. What I do know is that a lot of the laws that bind us are from Roman times, it was Julius Cesar who had the first ‘sovereign’ currency, who was head of the Church and head of the army, much like the Queen of England. I believe she has delegated these tasks now, with the president of America being the head of the army, the Pope being the head of the Church, and the City of London looking after her sovereign currency, note how Washington, the City of London and the Vatican are all small ‘countries’ with their own ‘laws’. It was the Romans who first had a passport, which ‘bound’ people to a nation under a law, claiming to ‘protect’ them but was more of an admission that if you didn’t show ‘loyalty’ to them, this Mafia would kill you. Other words like ‘Justice’ and ‘Constitution’, also come from the names of Roman Emperors, or ‘empowerors’.They provide protection in exchange for loyalty, what a heavy price to pay.

  2. Alex Robinson replied:

    Thanks Jaspal.Actually it seems like this article has put a cat amongst my own pigeons & I seem to be exorcising a number of loyalties – not sure where I'm going but it feels important.Yes the 'lie' of that phrase is rather telling. The Modern Prometheus did seem a strange titling – perhaps links can be found from many angles – including binding/bondage – "Osiris trapped in a coffer, Prometheus chained to a rock, Christ nailed to a cross…"etym of bondage – "c.1300, "condition of a serf or slave"….Hmmmm, etymology of law = "layer, measure, stroke," lit. "something laid down or fixed" – all of these apparent all-round-good-guys were 'laid down & fixed' (bound) into or onto things – but where do we go with that??Maybe the BAR is symbolic of being willingly tied to the cross, the rock or the coffer! The skullboneys do that coffin'g thing don't they?That was interesting about the freeman of NZ, I'm surprised he was allowed to win, altho that is a high price or maybe he's just got a taster of the normally invisible rules that bind us all. We synced up as I've been looking at the Waitangi Treaty lately for my next article!Very interesting snippets of info you had there, am sure others will find them so too.Very best to you Jaspal :)

  3. annemarie replied:

    Hi Alex,Remarkable piece, as usual. Loyalties? All about control, imo. Conditioning begins at birth. From the cradle to the grave?Root of this shite are those Ten Commandments. Particularly that 4th or 5th one. "Honour thy parents." I'm focused on that one rather than the first because it's our parents who are gods to us in our earliest years. They have the power of life and death over us. Even before anyone can stuff our heads full of religion or not, our parents stuff us with their beliefs, wants, feelings… they imprint upon us. Everything. Good, bad or ugly. We are wholly, utterly dependent upon them. We need to obey them. If we don't, they might not "love" us which to a child means abandonment which equals death.So get us while we're young, vulnerable, and impressionable. This way we're easily controlled by parents. And others too. Especially false authorities. Including teachers, doctors, preachers…We become deformed into being willing (sometimes fanatic, patriotic) to surrender our minds, bodies, even sacrifice our children for lies, loyalties, royalties, etc…Cui buono?The ELite? The execution and delivery is effective and efficient. Bloody ingenious, aint it. All religions (far as I know) have their version of those wicked, unnecessary commandments.Defies all logic too. There'd never be a need for an order to love God, our parents, etc if they were loving to us. When someone is kind or loving to us, we love them automatically. In kind. When people are hurtful to us, we distrust, despise or fear them. That too is natural, emotionally and logically. But we are programmed to ignore our feelings, especially any inconvenient-to-others feelings. We are shunned, ostracized or punished if our feelings don't jive with POPULARLY held bullshit. That's how our minds split. Whether the split is minor/manageable — where we can function as seemingly healthy people — or extreme where we become like the most abused/destroyed among us, those who are dangerously split i.e. schizophrenia, multiple personality disorders, psychopathy… Our bodies will always tell the truth. Via dis-orders, dis-ease, dis-functions. We either "turn on ourselves", or we act outwardly and turn on others. Either way. Someone's gonna pay for the imbalance, the insanity.Ultimately it's all about Control, possession, slavery. Of the mental, physical or emotional variety. Either way it serves someone/s other than the human individual. If we weren't abused (mentally or physically) as children, we'd become strong, self-assured adults, and others would not be able to take advantage of us in the manifold ways that they do.So, To thine own self be true.When one attempts to be true to oneself, they're typically accused of being selfish. Self love or self-esteem is not selfish. It's healthy, natural and vital. Whenever one attempts to go against the grain, there is always resistance. Especially from within. Due to the widespread, pervasive, standard programming. We are programmed to obey, not question. Not think. We are programmed to give in, submit, almost always say YES… to others…to deny our selves. pfft to that!NO is my favourite word. It's difficult to say no. To a multitude of things or people because of the conditioning. A whole lot more people, most of us need to say no a lot. More often. To others. To all false authorities. And to say yes a whole lot more to ourselves. Loyalties can definitely be the ties that bind and gag one to death. We must choose, and be very care-full to whom and to what we are loyal. take care every body, be wise :)

  4. annemarie replied:

    This wouldn't pass the word limit. LOL So here it is:p.s.Btw, I love the word Authority. And I am the author(ity) of my life. Not another person. Too funny. While writing this the phone rang. I said, "Oui, allo?", expecting it to be my husband at this hour. Instead there was the sound of a ship's horn blaring. Then a recorded male voice saying, "Hello, this is your captain…". I said, "Fuck you. I'm the captain." and hung up. It was some automated telemarketing call for a tour or cruise? What a joke. Though you'd enjoy the synch.When I grow up, I wanna be a writer just like you Alex. :)

  5. Alex Robinson replied:

    Allo Annemarie :)Very well (& feistily) said!You had me laughing at a few turns of phrase too – I like that 'NO' is your favourite word – I've been getting a taster of that the last few days – have also been seeing how dis-enabling the word 'yes' or giving some form of 'agreement' to vacuous phrases & questions, really is. I am at present standing my ground in an issue that's gone on too long & am being very careful not to give in to the pressure to give a nod of agreement here or an affirmatibe answer there – to stay strong I actually need to stay angry & I have found that sometimes this staying angry is the only way to break out of agreements that should never have been given OR accepted!lol I loved the epilogue & funnily enough I've been hearing what sounds like a ship's horn – very good. Am still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, altho I was thinking that maybe I wouldn't bother (growing up) as it doesn't seem like much fun :)All the very best to you

  6. Devin replied:

    Haha:-) for once I wont have a "book" sized commment -not because i dont have the things to say but because i am already tired of typing!!and i have only answered a few comments and begun typing a post -so i imagine will be greatly tired when this is over haha-cool wv-"unwaried" -i would think this could be read many ways but maybe it is telling me not to be "unwary" of what I say or do now?I greatly enjoy reading the other commenters here at your blog also-Jaspal,annemarie,Michael S, Ben-and the many others who stop by -they are the best type of commenters because they realy have thought-provoking things to say as annemarie and Jaspal said this was another remarkable article and wonderfully insightful-i think the synch you had with that ship and Henry III was quite remarkable indeed-something tells me these synch type things are speeding up and becoming more common as history "unwinds" "rewinds"-haha heaven forbid on that one!! I had a remarkable synch today-at least it was to me -about telling someone how before i died i would see snow again no matter what it took-then a completely new commenter left a very nice comment at MFM and I went to the person's blog and they had the most beautiful "snow" poem -i thought it was anyway-my eyes teared up as i read it!! it is especially us schlubs -talking more about the USA-but i assumed every nation is like this to some degree-that are tricked into the "loyalty" gig -all our kids here with the least to lose in some ways-and especially the least to lost by displaying or not displaying loyalty to this nation which has betrayed THEM-not the other way round-they are the poor kids we send to die in our disgusting imperial adventures!!! it really makes me sick to my stomach -and your article was and is so in tune with a conversation i had with my father about this very subject i will tell him about your article i also told someone that the "war fever" the USA is convulsed with so often would die down (no pun intended) quickly if ALL the young people and healthy people into their 30s were required to serve-but we send the most disenfranchised to do our disgusting work and then go watch American fucking Idol-its atrocious really just fucking atrocious I so wanted to leave this benighted country years ago -and you know what i think a lot of it is-guilt -guilt that i havent changed a damn thing or a damn mind since my being "minted" in 1965-hey unfuckingbelievable for that year too-we were ramping up in another war back then-whod a thunk it??the "peace loving" usa?? not usno loyalty has been used as a huge tool and element of control for too long -your article goes a long way in spelling out the hows and whys of it and most importantly why it is wrong to be used-literally there-pun intended-the way it is used all the best in the world to you my friend -i think my comment ended up being kinda long -sheeshsorry about all the f-bombs too-delete my comment if you want and i wont even be mad-i only use them so much on subjects like these cause i am so frustrated sometimesATB!!xx

  7. Alex Robinson replied:

    Haha Devin thanks for your short comment – loved it my friend & all the F bombs were spot on – when aimed properly (I might even say 'sacredly') I believe they can be very effective!You are spot on with being tricked into loyalty & one thing that has come up recently in converstaion is how loyalty is so often one-sided – you give it but it is not reciprocated – your 'country', your 'queen', your 'president' will not die for you tho' they will happily sign your death warrant & afterwards your death certificate & they will put your name on one of 'THEIR' memorials for an eternity (of what???).Now I was going to write religion in that little list but figured I'd get done for libel because it will be quoted that JC died for us – so I think a lot of 'loyalty' has been squeezed out of that story which can't be beaten – have been thinking of that phrase about 'greater love hath no man than that he would give up his life for his friend' – might I just say bollocks to that – what good is a dead friend??? – why don't these sacrificees live & set a REAL example? How about 'Greater love hath no man or woman that he/she would DECIDE to LIVE for their friends (& themselves of course) there's nothing we can't sort out if we work together – that is why the ptb work so hard to keep us divided (& deaded in all senses of that (made up) word!!Sorry soap box overkill :)Come to NZ my friend we have snow here – we'll go make you a snowman in the South Island :)Love ya always xx

  8. aferrismoon replied:

    That statue of Stalin was in Prague. They replaced briefly with a statue of Michael Jackson. Now they have a giant Metronome thereOnly skimmed so farCiao4Now

  9. Alex Robinson replied:

    Hey AferrismoonAccording to one website your regulator is one of your top attractions! Hadn't realised that that Stalin statue was in your neck of the woods.Stopped by your place briefly too & see there is a hearty read in store!Hope your winter is behaving itself. ATB

  10. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Wow Alex what an insightful piece!!Agreed, loyalty is such rubbish. I felt your powerful behind your article, man, this was superb.You've given me much "brain food" that will hopefully transmute to powerful emotions! Thank you my friend down under!Brilliant. WV = RAstate

  11. Alex Robinson replied:

    Thanks muchly MichaelVery glad to provide some brain fodder :) As always when I write I get a lot of benefit myself & it's been one heck of a powerful week!I wish you a thoroughly adventurous weekend my friend :)

  12. aferrismoon replied:

    HiThe bit about the regulator – sorry I don't understand – lowtech vocab – can u elaborateAlso , wit' youse from Erin an' all, taut you'd slip in the LOOLoyal Orange Ordercheers

  13. Alex Robinson replied:

    Well Mr Moon I spake of your metro-gnome – wasn't quite sure what it actually was, so had a wiki-peep – "A metronome is any device that produces regular ticks (beats). More precisely it produces a regulated aural, visual or tactile pulse" = thus a 'regulator' – after your loo comment we could perhaps say that it keeps Prague regular!Didst not even think of the mandarin order, I must admit – forgot they were ever so loyal – thanks for the reminder. Was just reading the other day of the first William of Tangerine who was assassinated. He who carried out the crime had what could be the worst execution ever -"he was sentenced to be brutally — even by the standards of that time — killed. The magistrates sentenced that the right hand of Gérard should be burned off with a red-hot iron, that his flesh should be torn from his bones with pincers in six different places, that he should be quartered and disemboweled alive, that his heart should be torn from his bosom and flung in his face, and that, finally, his head should be cut off." I think I now know where the phrase 'overkill' came from – I do hope you weren't eating.ATB

  14. Artislav Mel replied:

    Hiya Alex,I hope you don't mind me saying this, but there is a touch of melancholy to your work that is positively Auden-esque.In this article you have articulated the flaw of the rose, the cancer in the bud… namely: everything sacred implies a deficit.LoveLoyaltyPropertyLawSexFaith Nature…each of these states cries out that we are born into sin, that we are 'inadequate' in and of 'our selves'. Each of these states articulates 'a need which can be denied'.The imbalance, the absence of simple 'peace of mind' that plagues the human story illustrates the need for either denial of suffering or worse, the rigid administration of human behavior and response.There is a good movie along these lines called… 'Colossus: The Forbin Project'… but I digress…So, short a of an impossibly unlikely fascist regime, we are stuck in this absurd sub-comedy of 'Original Spin' – stretching tenuously close to the institutional belief that we actually know what is going on and getting farther from the truth every minute.I have suffered a recent embarrassment of loyalty, so I am hip to your conundrum. I take solace in the single provable fact of knowledge that is available through any school or practice or dogma or sudden epiphany…Whatever is happening, it is totally fucking impossible.Pax to Da Max and Party NakedDa WWWiz aka AMor Mark

  15. Alex Robinson replied:

    Greetings Mellow WizardYou made me smile :) & it is warm enough here to party naked!You hinged on a point I've been pivoting about lately, that 'of ourselves' we are 'inadequate' (or no-thing) & that there must forever be a 'go-between' – methinks it's about time that that thought got hung, drawn & quartered. I like your single provable fact very much! Have read aught of Auden – I hope not too melancholic – these article always aid me, & this one has been no exception. Hope your loyalty slip heals quickly – BIG peace back to you :)ps will be dropping by Antarctica in my next article – will stop in for a cuppa if you're home :)

  16. Devin replied:

    Alex-thanks so much for your thoughtful reply to my comment and I also enjoyed reading Michaels,aferrismoons-mellow wizards -and any others that weren't here when i first commented!!Thanks also for your "Loyalty" (wink) over this past one year plus-I think having people think positive thoughts towards me about this led to me getting scheduled with an honest, intelligent, fair Judge-without which I think -well I don't want to think along those lines!!This was again a wonderful article -and I think all of the comments and positive responses to it reflect that !!Got to thinking about your remark about "what good is a dead friend?" In an album released in the 80s the group New Order had a wonderful song that had some words very similar to this about a man who had died in war-I won't even try to paraphrase -and will try to see if the lyrics are on lyricsfreak or something-the song's name was "Love Vigilantes" I believe-all the best in the world to you my forever friend!!xxwv=mestyrn

  17. Alex Robinson replied:

    Heya DevinHow's things – has the good news sunk in yet? Thanks for your comments as always. I haven't heard that New Order song, but it sounds interesting! I find it very aggravating that the dead are too often lauded just for being dead – yet apart from fertilising the roses they don't seem have a great deal of use! Must dash now – very best of everything to you, followed by a second helping of things even better :)

  18. celticrebel replied:

    One, I feel we are conditioned to go into relationships with the concept that doing so is a contract of possession, hence the ridiculousness that ensues when that "contract" is broken. Two, I still think that sail looks like a banana. :-)

  19. Nicholas Doran replied:

    Thank you for the opportunity to view excellent work!

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