Sedimentary crimes

Yet the sweet converse of an innocent mind,
Whose words are images of thoughts refin’d,
Is my soul’s pleasure; and it sure must be
Almost the highest bliss of human-kind,
When to thy haunts two kindred spirits flee.
John Keats “O Solitude!’


I have been attempting, of late, to unsettle the sediment of my childhood programming.

It is no longer ‘ok’  …

… for me to have these spell-casts skull-king within me.

En-crypt-ed meme-ories …

Encoded instructions …

Deeply rooted in-too-far-structures

I really don’t know what I expected to find …



… I simply sat, cat-like, and watched and waited.


The biggest, boldest surprise I got was the blatant ‘gayness’ in programmes I remembered as distinctly heroic & heterosexual.

I am a female.  The training of my generation demanded that I believe in ‘romance’ & manly heroes.

And that is what I saw. Then.

Now … I am stunned.

Let me try & speak clearly here – I have NO issue with homosexuality.

Likewise I doubt that any homosexual would take offence with my preferences.  There is a gay blogger whom I call ‘brother’ & I hope he forgives me for mentioning him, I simply want to make it clear that I couldn’t give a flying fuck which variety of (grown up) humanity turns you on.

What I’m questioning here is WHY our programmers of yesteryear used double-sided sexuality.

…. You know what, I’ve just erased what was here before because I see just a little more clearly.

I said I found ‘gayness’ – because that’s the best word I could think of – but I was wrong.  I FOUND what I have been INSTRUCTED to believe is gayness.  I actually have no idea what comprises a homosexual relationship – it was only a little while ago that I learned that anal sex is apparently a new kid on the block when it comes to gay male interaction – I was taught via media, that it was ‘standard practice’.

I’ve also been taught that effeminate men & certain gestures = homosexuality.

Plus there was my training in instant homosexual character recognition in movies/tv – often through their larger than life flamboyance.

Why were we taught to read homosexuality in a certain format?  And why was THAT format then subtly or not so subtly replayed back to us in heterosexual role models?

Sample one

Sample two
Banacek was a ladies’ man through and through, but that didn’t always stop the fellas taking their best shot” –  Really? If you’ve listened to the Celtic Rebel you will pick up on the lightning reference.

It is interesting in my re-watchings, to note that I only seem to see male on male innuendo, suggestion & subliminals.  If there was some sort of push towards homosexuality back then, why don’t I see Lesbian suggestivity?

What, I have to ask, happens to an audience that is being told one tale – in this case heterosexual heroes & lotharios – while having their subconscious sold another?

Of course these may be the rantings of a mad woman & there’s no harm in you thinking that way – always better to use your own mind. Still why not try a  spot of cat-like reviewing for yourself & I’m not talking about whether something or someone is ‘gay‘ or not, I’m talking about looking to see what mixed messages were directed/director-ed/doctored …

past your mind & into your subconscious.

To tell the truth the above was actually a sidetrack – it was never meant to be part of this post.  Then again none of this was meant to be written about.  At the time I was merely attempting a private historical exorcism …

Until that is …  I was re-introduced to a once idolised character/actor.

I adored him (the one at the front – Randolph Mantooth aka Johnny Gage).

I adored the show too.  It lit up my life.

In memorium for my past, I went browsing for pics of this historical Sir Galahad.  He played the part of paramedic so romantically speaking, the programme was ‘modern knight in shining armour-come-ambulance’.

A number of images later …

… and an idea had come to mind.

Or was it a revelation?

Good Lord thought I, he looks like Keanu Reeves.

Now this is actually very significant.

To me.

For I have a confession to make.

You see there was a time, where I also adored Keanu Reeves.

I know, I know & don’t tell me what a crap actor he is …

… it wasn’t his acting that appealed back then, goddamit!

You’re not really going to tell me that you’ve never been there?

When I think back to that Keanu-hypnotic-phase, I remember that I was in a very vulnerable & lonely place & I wonder how much that had to do with my fall into ‘fascination’.

When I saw Randolph Mantooth’s face again things seemed to become a whole lot clearer.

You see I was also in a vulnerable & lonely place back when I developed my crush on him …

… his lively, playful char-actor & dark good looks were like a balm at the time.

What I’m wondering now is this …

‘Did a combination of a Keanu movie, combined with concurrent emotional loneliness, trigger off a subconscious meme-ory?

Did it fire up an old inner ‘programme’?

Was my original emotional programming of Mantooth as a rescuer of lonely maiden, resuscitated by a new, yet remarkably similar knight?

Just how deeply embedded are our childhood/teenage heroes?

Just how much do they make up the infrastructure of who we think we are & what we think we like?

What events/feelings/emotions cause them to creep/seep out of our inner woodwork?

And just what are their ‘cherished’ memories doing to the insides of our being?

It’s all very well to look down upon the new generations & shudder, but surely it was the unimpeded orgy of programming that the generations of the 60’s & 70’s & 80’s so heartily swallowed, that has allowed today’s degradations to happen.  We ingested so much televiled, televiled, televised toxicity that it’s surprising we don’t glow in the dark.

We bought it all & yummed it down.

Perhaps we don’t need to worry about being micro-chipped because we’ve already swallowed so much that we can be ‘activated’ at the flick of a tv switch…

… especially as our filters…

… stopped functioning properly a long time ago.

The etymology of the word ‘show’ is telling: –

show (n.) c.1300 “act of exhibiting to view” …

Sense of  “appearance put on with intent to deceive,” is recorded from c.1526″

If we restructure our own words a bit, we might get another notch freer;

“A code name or cryptonym is a word or name used clandestinely to refer to another name or word. Code names are often used for military purposes, or in espionage …

… They may also be used in industry to protect secret projects” (wiki)

Anyway this is no doom & gloom post. It’s about finding ways to get our lives back.

We are infinitely creative.

Our capacity to heal has merely been numbed & drugged – it had to be, because it’s so formidable that one sneeze would blow cancer into oblivion.

It’s time to heal, our hearts & our spirits -“heal O.E. hælan “make whole, sound and well

It’s time to spit/vomit out the poison.

There is so much power in the curious eye …

… the willingness to view the world the way a child or an animal does – not to prove or disprove, simply to honestly observe &  interact with what is there.

Within us lies a leonine power …

… that can tear deceit to shreds, devour lies, digest pain & nurture & defend our growth.

Yet it is impotent without our eyes.

WE have to be willing to SEE what we are looking at, so that our inner lion understands the course of action to take.

If we look at degradation & laugh because a joke is told in unison or canned laughter prompts us  – then we have informed our lion that that is ok, it may pass its defences & roam freely within us.

If we look at cruelty while having our senses stimulated & we choose to continue watching  – then we have informed our lion that that is ok, it may pass it’s defences & roam freely within us.

It seems to be that what we are constantly being fed these ‘double-twisted mind fucks’. I am reminded of the second part of the quote that the Celtic Rebel used for his review of the movie Salo – you don’t need to watch it, just listen to his show & note  it’s not about homosexuality – it’s about the toxic bitterness that lies behind the death cult of Holy Wood.  Here is the quote;

“The act of the sodomite signifies the death of the human species, ambiguously accepting social standards while transgressing them.”

Ambiguously accepting social standards while transgressing them” – this is how we defeat ourselves day after day.

Every time we are ambiguous, our inner intelligence is weakened.

Every time we refuse to look, our lion is defeated.

We do not need to know answers or how we can accomplish things, our job is to see so that our lion may feed & grow strong again. Our sad little selves are now so weak & listless that it seems like just about everything is too big or too hard or too unrealistic or too expensive or too impossible ….. bleat, bleat, bleat.

Our work is to see & to honestly acknowledge what we see – then our lion will walk with us then & roar for us & guard our back & bring us nourishment.

On a still night the sound of lions roaring can carry five miles or more and can serve as an acoustic signpost, proclaiming for all who would hear that these lions are owners of this land.”


Many thanks to Ian  (from Cosmic Enchilada) for the following

Rise like Lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number –
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you –
Ye are many – they are few.’

October 25, 2010. Uncategorized.


  1. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Nicely done!! I am working on the deprogramming and untying knots from the wicked weavers of Holy Wood henceforth right now! I have noticed that lots of people are ranting and raving about the new 3D movies in the theaters. I suspect higher tech home versions will be out next year? I know new TVs have the built in 3D technology and I am sure will encapsulate the mind if one is not careful.

    Do you have any windmills that need charging? ;) Kidding!

    There are some lovely hand painted portraits hanging on our “art wall” at work, and one is a majestic lion, gorgeous piece! It immediately caught my eye and I continue to walk up and gaze upon its beauty daily when I go into work.

    I know MGM has the LION roar at the beginning/end of most of their programmes, including Stargate SG-1 episodes. Hmmmm.

    Nicely said, the subliminal agendas have been around for quite some time, those sneaky depraved Eugenic bastards!

    Have a beautiful Spring in NZ Alex!

    • too long in this place replied:

      Hiya Michael
      Great good luck to you with your de-programming.

      3D looks to me like the new cancer of the movie world – the latest technology is ‘always’ the best – of course when we speak of ‘late’ actors we mean ‘dead’ ones.

      Lions have come up a lot in my work – they have perhaps much to teach us – it was a gut feeling to include them in this post – have since had the idea that perhaps our LIVERs = our Lions.

      I hope you are very well
      Roar on my friend :)

  2. aferrismoon replied:

    Remember ‘It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum’ , a rather unsubtle title. The ‘Camp’ entertainers remind one that actors in the UK were once called ‘Luvvies’

    John InMan??

    And isn’t it the MeDear! that claims the ‘gay’ man has been oppressed. GAY means ‘happy’, ‘outgoing’ while ‘STRAIGHT implies ‘boring’ , and unnatural as no straight lines exist in nature.
    Words doubtless constructed by the humans-against-humans divisive network now employed in dividing people into str8-gay-lesbo-bi-TV-TG-S&M-etc etc and gettiung them all to scream, scream , scream for Meeeeeeeeeee! Dear :}

    Directed frenzy just about explains it.


    • too long in this place replied:

      Hi Ewan
      I di wonder how much Mr Innmans name got him that position :)
      Luvvies is well remembered – way too much ‘truth-telling’ goes on in the English language to be accidental.

      Medear is all the rage m’dear & even if one gets tired of lies & crappery & goes looking for truth, one still ends up at it’s (staged, & probably rear) door.

      Media is fashion & the designers have it all sewn/news up

      cheers m’dear :)

  3. pso replied:

    I understand where you are coming from Alex.
    It is as if they use these programs as a sort of seed.
    The seed gets planted and each new tv season -watered, and with it all the early childhood programming wakes up and forces the adult to behave anything but [meaning the maturity is lost somewhat and reverts back to all the programmed ‘mis takes’ -as in re-doo the ‘shot’ had in early development.

    So maybe a drought -no water- no TV, no hol[l]y-wood generated movies, no radio -is needed for each willing soul reading this- will kill their seeds, and new ones based on what is now being seen for the first time in decades -through unfiltered eyes, as adults who have been swindled, will come to light an d be planted and take root.

    It’s my hope for humanity.
    I will be linking your article.


    • too long in this place replied:

      Hi Patrick
      Seeds are a very good way of see(d)ing our programs – & we watered them all in so ‘well’.

      I agree about the need to pull away, I think I’ve reached that place now, it was hard & sad, but that place (tv/movieland) is way too empty to want to stay.

      Lets hope for humanity & charge along as best we can & see how many walls & lies we can knock over in the process

      Very best to you

  4. Jaspal replied:

    Man-Tooth, always something in a name.

    I also noticed a funny sync with the Sparticus TV show you mentioned on Rebel’s show, strange that it was started/birthed on the 22nd of January, the date of Mr Ledger’s death:

    It is also strange that Lucy Lawless is in it, with the ending of this ‘lawless’ herO at the hands of the empire that runs the whole world today. The TV programming being that you can put up a good fight, but you can never win.

    I’m also sorry about all the gaming talk in the chatroom, it was nice to finally have some kind of conversation, and see a fake photo of you as well! Do come back if you get time, it will be a nerd free zone, promise!

    • too long in this place replied:

      Sorry Jaspal
      I found this sitting in the spam folder – must have the mention of all the gaming chat :)

      Interesting dating for the premiere of Sport-icus-twas 2 years to the day of the funeral of Sir Edmund Hillary – also conducted in Auckland.

      I think the Rebel has made some mention of ‘Sand’ somewhere – gonna check that out with him – I think it has ahem… deeper connotations. I have some big ideas on why NZ seems to be the new place to make movies – just found out they did Avatar here & the Hobbit’s going down – lots of fantasy in this land – when it feels right I’m going to write something very politically incorrect.

      Might pop into the Rebel’s chat room to check out the deep & meaningful, NWO fighting conversation :)

      Best to you

  5. Fitzy replied:

    Good Sister.
    Language is ambiguous, twern’t always, been slipping from its perch awhile now.

    ‘This bird is dead.’
    ‘No it ain’t, its just sleeping.’
    Thanks Monty.

    And there’s the rub, and the cunning of it, as you say “TV” – two messages, one seen one unseen, in contradiction of each other and yet simultaneously accepted.

    We call that insanity – the clowns are cruel and clever, this circus is perverse.

    Their device is not nice.

    And it occurred to me, we Kiwi’s labour under the double negative – ‘Yeah-Nah’.
    How often we use ‘No’ to affirm a question, and conversely, how often we use the inverse of what we desire, to attain what we want.

    >What’s a Universe to do?, you kids said you wanted torment and suffering<

    >There you go again<

    In short, we are Tele-conditioned to be open to all we would be sane to refuse.
    We better get to affirming the positive we want, with a positive soonish,…now would be good.

    So the TV is off, the radio too, The Theatre – well that’s where operations are performed….right?
    I see the outline forming, of the bridge between language broken, and language remade, spanning the gap…to when we speak exactly what we mean.
    Communication filled with grace, and kindness, and with force and vitality too.

    Excellent post-host-with-the-most.

    • too long in this place replied:

      Mate that parrot wouldn’t voom if you put 40 million volts through it :)

      Thanks Fitzy
      Entertainment – the ultimate trickster.

      My sister pointed out our double speak a while ago – I hadn’t noticed it till then, now I hear it a lot & have been trying to figure out where it came from – it’s completely daft.

      ‘Now’ seems very good to me for good – I have a feeling tho’ that because we are so very dumb, we may no longer have that ability – however we can use our own tricks – one of my most succesful is to put things into the past, forget reality – it’s a spell – go back & pop things into the past, have fun, LOTS of fun, move things round, change them – if you start giggling you know somethings happening – giggles are a very powerful sign :)

      & oh yes communication with kindness – my god how good that sounds. I’m sure English is a double strength language & we’re being pounded by it daily – if we applied it with kindness we might start dissolving mountains of hate & start building bridges of love.

      Very best to you, thanks for your play :)

  6. Ian replied:

    ‘Rise like Lions after slumber
    In unvanquishable number –
    Shake your chains to earth like dew
    Which in sleep had fallen on you –
    Ye are many – they are few.’

    • alex replied:

      Absolutely wonderful, thanks Ian :)

      Will add to article

      very best to you

  7. raffi replied:

    well said, alex. no doubt the archetypes we adopt and mimic are thoroughly manufactured via the medium of media. as in your ‘clownscape’ post, the same face tends to recur with contemporary stars, as well as those from the remote to distant past (even across the sexes). they invoke some associated meme-ory [loved that btw] emotion, not to mention a subconscious confusion. i think your chaplin/hitler example on CRs podcast was very poignant; the stark contrast is too apparent, almost baffling. ultimately, humans lose touch with their innate sense of humanity through this mass programming. anyways, in line with “seeing”, i found a quote referring to “speaking” which ties in nicely:

    “…but as there is in the world not a single human being who can speak my language; or, more simply, not a single human who can speak; or, even more simply, not a single human…”

    • too long in this place replied:

      Hi Raffi
      You’d think there’d be a few more raised eyebrows about the insane number of look-a-likes in Clonewood – if it gets noticed it’s simply shrugged of as coincidence! & yes I do think Hitler’s Chaplin got to slip under the radar & straight into a primed psyche – real genius!

      I think once something has been swallowed by us, it’s very, VERY difficult for us to look at it clearly – as if we lose the ability to focus.
      Your quote is alarmingly apt – & just what is a human being?

      Not sure if meme-ory came from my head or if I’ve seen it somewhere else, upon a time – but I liked it too :)

      very best to you

  8. Shane replied:

    Hello, Alex. This is my first time leaving a comment, so bear with me if it becomes a little hard to follow, too personal, or too tongue-in-cheek. Humor is what gets me through 99% of the day.

    I came across you through the other Alex’s blog and I’ve been reading your stuff, intermittently, over the past few months. Thought that it was about time to leave a little feedback and ask for your opinion on a few things, as well.

    First of all, I enjoy the use of pictures in your entries. It keeps those of us with little-to-no attention spans interested. As unfortunate as it is, visual stimulation is basically a must, these days.

    I think that you’re a believer in synchronicity and I found it interesting that your latest entry- what you deem “gayness”, in particular- popped up right as I was pondering the repercussions of asking the other Alex about his thoughts on true homosexuality. Not the kind that’s been induced by the media.

    As a [sexually] conflicted guy, myself, I struggle while trying to decipher what’s authentic and what’s been forced into me. (I was raised a devout Christian and became a very distraught teen after realizing that I might be gay.) At the same time, I fear that my asking for your and the Celtic Rebel’s input- as if looking for a black and white, “right” or “wrong”, do this but don’t do that sort of thing- could also be the religious programming trying to pull me back into those shackles. Telling me what I should and shouldn’t be. Am I actively looking for the shame again? Have guys just served as a means for me to push back? How does my sexual abuse as a toddler come into play? My mother’s abandoning me? Was I, basically, convinced by others to be gay? After all, they seemed to know before I did. Am I just damned if I do and damned if I don’t? Ha. The queries are overwhelming. And that’s just in regard to sexual preference. Nothing else. Do you have any thoughts, ideas, or resources that you think may help?

    Like your reply to a previous commenter, I’ve given up watching movies and television, too. Really don’t want any more subconscious destruction going on. Coincidentally, I came to that conclusion after watching the film “I Know Who Killed Me”.

    Hope this finds you in good spirits. :)

    • too long in this place replied:

      Hello Shane
      I have been mulling over your words while making dinner & some bakewell tarts :) I’m hoping I might bake a half decent reply.

      At first I thought Jesus I could get lynched if I don’t watch my words (not by you), merely because you bring up such a hot topic. I wonder why it is so ‘hot’ – why has the the media groomed & guided homosexuality into the hotspot it has today? I think there would have been but a fraction of confusion had it not been so continuously publicly profiled.

      Truly what does it matter what sex you are genuinely attracted to. Can it really be my or anyone else’s business? It looks to me as if one sexual preference has been crafted into a media entity. Why?

      Are you a kind person? Do you care for others? Do you share your gifts with the world? Oh silly me that doesn’t matter does it?

      For what it’s worth here is my reply to your ‘gay’ question. First I think it is VERY positive that you are asking questions – your own questions – there is no other way forward.
      While cooking I was reminded of a story I listened to on audio book a number of years ago. I really enjoyed it & only learned as the story progressed that the author was gay & that explained a certain gay character in the story. The lady who wrote the book also read the audio book & I was familiar with her from when I lived in England – a very funny woman. Towards the end of the book, the main (heterosexual) character finds out that her adored childhood friend is gay – she struggles to come to terms with it & when she thinks she has, there is a scene where she is trying to convey to her friend that she respects her choice. At which point her friend erupts passionately & says “Do you think anyone chooses to be gay”? & goes on in an impassioned way about how no one in their right mind would choose to be gay because of the difficulties it creates in life – this was the author speaking her own words & it really made me think – up to that point in the book – the story merely had a gay side line to it.

      If I had anything to say it would be based on those words – there was no questioning about whether the character was gay – it was simply a fact. If you have questions then keep asking them until you reach a place of ‘congruence’ – being at one with your life – fuck right or wrong or religious/media belief/programmes – find & re-find your own centre each day, in YOUR own way & throw everything else to the wolves. It’s not about which path you travel, it’s about living in congruence.

      All the best to you

  9. Ben Emlyn-Jones replied:

    Hi Alex. Like the look of your new site. My brother is gay actually. I don’t really think about it much. It makes very little difference to our relationship or that with the rest of the family. He has a partner, a Chinese bloke he met when he lived in Australia.

    Good luck with the new site!

    • too long in this place replied:

      Thanks Ben – always a pleasure to see you. How’s (the rest of) Oxford?

      Loved your comment about your brother – exactly so!

      Very best to you & Louisa

  10. Sundaemon replied:

    Very nicely done again, Alex. The part that struck me most here was about how you developed your “crushes” while in a lonely state. Well, we’re all lonely in the Western construct. You must be, by definition, until you reject its assumptions. Women get stalked and abused because they are no longer people with souls but objects with sexual organs. “Heartthrobs” are there to fill the void that was created. Marketing is creating a need, then filling it.
    But if the men that women are programmed to adore are effeminate, and men adjust themselves to what women want, what then?
    And how about the word “crush”? When did crushing something become a show of adoration or love? To destroy, to squeeze the vital juices, to flatten. Yup, that’ll be the perversion again, right there implanted into our language.

    • too long in this place replied:

      Hi Sundaemon – the West wasn’t built on ‘rock’, it was built on the sands of loneliness & disconnection – a perfect breeding ground for heartthROBS, as you say so well!

      It is interesting to note the etymology of ‘infatuation’;

      late 15c., from L. infatuatus, pp. of infatuare “make a fool of”

      Am working thro’ some ideas re the spirit crushing of the West atm – how it’s been achieved & possibilites of how we can turn the tide. Have you got some flippers? Also a bucket & spade might come in handy :)


  11. celticrebel replied:

    A tough topic to handle, and I think ye of the subtler hand managed. I hear Shane above, and no doubt he expresses the opinion of many others.

    Who am I? How did I get here? Where am I going? Those 3 simple questions that we can never answer, because we are STUCK on the first. Victims, is a class, we all belong to, and if we don’t answer that first question, the remaining two will remain far beyond our reach.

    Beijos, to all….

  12. alex robinson replied:

    Hiya Mr Rebel
    Read a marvelous quote just yesterday – let me go dig it up & brush it off

    “If you keep rephrasing the question, it gradually becomes the answer”

    I believe that it is by asking questions that we are made strong & whole. There is a world of difference between talking to/being with one who questions as opposed to one who ‘ingests’ – Ingest = in jest – a big joke on us for thinking that prepackaged & cold precooked life could ever satisfy.

    May you/we always be tripping over question marks

  13. Anthony replied:

    Given that Shakespeare was quite possibly a pysop, and much of the bible, history books, etc. then it would seem very likely that the movie business has been working to an agenda from day one.

    Although, given the apparent weirdness and interconnectedness of our world, I suppose everything is part of an agenda in one way of another.

    I’ve just read several of your articles and what a great ride it has been. Quite a few of your comments have hit home. My father died of cancer this year. He was given six months to live and died pretty much on time. However, I felt that cancer treatment killed him just as much as the cancer itself. At the beginning of 2010 he had “back ache”, but felt strong enough to try to build the foundations for a shed in his garden.

    When he was given the diagnosis of cancer his attitude to life changed dramatically. Fortunately he did spend his last weeks in a very pleasant hospice rather than a hospital.

    Another cancer story is that of a woman who worked as a therapist. Family constellations involves placing people who are strangers as representatives of the family. It apparently works on a morphogenetic level, which I would guess refers to the etheric. The therapist died of liver cancer. I had been wondering what link there was from spiritual work to the liver and you provided it in one of your articles.

    Coming back to this article. I was never a big cinema goer, but I did go to see Pulp Fiction with a girlfriend. I was shocked just as much by the audience reaction as by the violence. Your description of how people allow the images to get past their inner censor is quite brilliant. Very often “humour” has a big role. If you don’t laugh then you’re a spoilsport. Or if sex is involved, then you’re a prude, no matter how debased or brutal the act portrayed might be.

    “It’s just a film”, “It’s art” or it might even be religion given the brutality of many passages from especially the old testament.

    Thank you for all of your thought provoking articles. You’re absolutely right that it is time to spit out the poison and start living our lives instead of existing as the addled audience of the shadowmakers.

  14. alex robinson replied:

    Many thanks for your story Anthony – I’m sorry to hear about your Dad.

    I have long felt that doctors are VERY akin to voodoo practitioners – they have SO much belief & conviction in their ‘ingested’ vision of ‘curing’ that they send out their words with enormous potency – more powerful often than the drugs.

    Yes, agreed – so much is hidden &/or approved of because of labels & what we’ve been taught they represent – “art’ is a very good example.
    Movie critics made film into ‘art’ – got people to take it seriously – look how much time we have spent discussing things that never happened. Its scary how many times I’ve caught myself looking for my own memories only to find a ‘programme’ in their place. I’ve given up tv/movies completely now & slowly I’m getting clearer vision.

    Thanks for your words

    Very best to you

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