me meme

Human instincts can be ignored when
is made to seem to be …

… a matter of survival

~  ~  ~

 “a preoccupation with identity
for many people …

… is a way of life

~  ~  ~

People who live in the first-person orientation have,
as their frame of reference,


Such questions as Who am I? take on a high magnitude of importance.  The focus is on me, me, me


What if this ‘me‘  frame of reference is …

... prison sell?

Let’s ask a question.

What is identity?


identity     c.1600, “sameness, oneness,” from M.Fr. identité (14c.), from L.L. (5c.) identitatem … “sameness, …  abstracted from identidem “over and over“.


The distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity; individuality.

The quality or condition of being the same as something else.”

Ummm …… pardon?

individuality AND being the same as something else

When & how did sameness come to mean individuality?

If identity is a word with more than a dash of double-speak, should we identify ourselves with it quite so readily?

Is there a reason why identity is so vital if you want to ‘be someone‘?

Discussions of face invariably refer to the concept of self …‘image of self’ … public self-image’ …  an ‘identity-boundary issue’…  and the ‘self as a communicative identity.”

Facebook has brought a new  focus of how people construct their identities online, demonstrating that identity is not just a process or list of attributes, but rather a dramatic performance in which one’s  identity never remains static – it is constantly undergoing construction

Facebook: A Generation’s Identity Archive … you’re always presenting the identity you want to present – you never have to worry about the identity you used to present

Or alternatively …

The first substantial difference of the Facebook-age is that identity is more closely intertwined with our pasts. While it is easier to catch up with your camp bunk-buddy, it is also more difficult to reinvent yourself. Facebook walls and pictures allow any curious onlooker to be a few clicks away from getting at least the gist of your high school, and maybe even middle school

Facebook – the cult of identity?  How many people who denounce Scientology actively attend Facebook?

Facebook is no longer just a current method of identity presentation, it is an archive of our digital identity

Why is identity/self-focus mandatory in this modern world?

Does ‘identity’ lead us further & further away from any real chance of connection with the world?

the first-person orientation is rampant in the human potential movement, where the focus is blatantly on self …

… sense of self, working on self, finding your truth, being one with yourself, developing yourself, reaching self-enlightenment, fulfilling yourself & so on … “Everyone is my mirror” … is a way of seeing everyone else in terms of you.  Yet if you attempt to reduce all the  individuals you know into being a reflection of you,

you will miss them

Approaches based on self-love only serve to drive your focus more & more on the self.  This obscures the separation needed in the act of creating, so you will be less effective over time

What if over-focusing on ourselves makes us poorer, weaker, sadder?

Let’s re-spell identity & ask some questions.

What if Id Entities feast on self-centred minds?

Id, ego and super-ego are … defined in Sigmund Freud’s structural model of the psyche …  the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organised, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralising role.

The id is unconscious by definition:

It is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality … we call it a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations… It is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organization, produces no collective will

In the classic 1956 movie Forbidden Planet, the destructive forces at large on the planet Altair IV are finally revealed to be “monsters from the id” — destructive psychological urges unleashed upon the outside world through the … “mind-materialisation machine.

the forces of the Id … have great power and cannot be repressed indefinitely since they supply the basic drives and motive force of the personality. The Id will try to reassert itself by manufacturing strange dreams and even physical symptoms. If the conscious mind ignores the warning signals then the Id will begin to twist the person up

Do our modern, self-obsessed …

cults of Identity 

… create monsters of the id by forcing attention to the surface of self & holding it there?

Is self-focus essential?

Another orientation people can live in is third person … focus is not on yourself, but rather outside yourself.  In a third person orientation you are capable of establishing relationships, because … the duality … created between you & something else … helps create distance, separation & greater perspective …

While Who am I? …
is one of the major questions in the first-person orientation, …

… What is truly going on? …
is one of the major questions in the third person.  

In the first person, identity is of great importance; in the third person, truth is of greater importance.  In the first-person orientation, there is often a tremendous amount of sentimentality but little real compassion.  In the third person, there is often real compassion & less sentimentality.”


Have we gotten trapped in a mirror-level of (un)reality –

… hovering eternally on & around the surface of ourselves?

surface     1610s, from Fr. surface “outermost boundary of anything, outside part” (16c.), from O.Fr. sur- “above” + face

Have we constructed our identities from the surfaces of very fake mirrors?

If we loosely followed Freud’s 3-tiered model, we might suggest we are being shepherded & then concreted into the realm of ego/identity.

I have chatted with Celtic Rebel about the dangers of fame – even wondering if fame might be some sort of ‘entity’ – for it seems to take over the human & create a life of its own.  He in turn has suggested that perhaps it is the …

… cementing in place of a persona that causes the problems.

Once an identity is formed does the individual begin to disappear?

Identity is theft of the self”  ~ Estee Martin

If the individual disappears, so does life.

For life is so vibrant & dynamic that it compels …

… individuality on every level.

Can sameness be viewed as a form of inbreedingnever a healthy option.


Does identity compel sameness?

Why have we allowed ourselves to become so identified with identity?  So obsessed with ourselves.

Is it because it makes us feel safe?

Sometimes people … are so attached to their ideas that they feel threatened if their outlooks are challenged … ideas can function as a matter of identity

What if that which we have used to protect ourselves, is lethal?

And M.E. I eat dust
We’re all so run down
I’d call it my death
But I’ll only fade away
And I hate to fade alone
Now there’s only M.E.

We were so sure
We were so wrong
But there’s no one left to see
And there’s no one left to die
There’s only M.E.

Why shoud I care
Why should I try
Oh no, oh no
I turned off the pain
Like I turned off you all

Now there’s only M.E

It’s interesting to see how ‘ME’ has a big hand …

… in the business of death.

In Frozen minds I got to wondering about how much destruction may be caused by the incessant focusing upon ourselves.

You know I think we’ve been very deliberately steered into this obsession.


I don’t know, but perhaps, because it weakens or ‘unmans‘ us.

Do you remember the popular movie trick of using mirrors to trick the eyes of security guards …

… or deflect alarm systems.

Well, what if the reflections from the silver screens & all their golden identities …

… somehow disabled our own warning systems & drove us into …

… mirror-madness?

What if the result of over-self-focus, is fear & illness – mental &/or physical?

I have struggled with what is labelled Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for a number of years – not enough to incapacitate me, but more than enough to restrict my life.

Since my uprooting & move to my new home, it has kicked in quite badly.  During this time there has also come a new understanding about how extreme anxiety crippled my family – something in the combination of these two events led me to wonder if CFS could be caused by an overwhelmed nervous system.

A little research led a long way.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or … M.E. for short, is widely used interchangeably to describe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Unbelievable – how often does truth stare us in the face & we glaze over?

So a journey begins – I start by acknowledging the extreme anxiety that has walked with me for a very long time – & I notice how much this anxiety always turns me ‘back in upon myself‘.

I find a site which suggests that CFS has everything to do with the brain’s guard dog, …

… the amygdala, staging unrelenting & brutal counter-attacks
on anything deemed fearful:

The Amygdala Hypothesis – a ‘vicious cycle‘ that, once triggered by severe stressors in people with certain risk factors can perpetuate neurological overstimulation, physiological dysfunction, and many physical symptoms

It is believed that the amygdala stores highly charged emotional memories, such as terror and horror and it has been shown that the amygdala becomes very active when there is a traumatic threat

This provided a hearty meal for thought.

Just how much may we have we been affected by …

… anxiety.

I have seen anxiety everywhere & I have also seen how no one will voice it out, except in the acceptable, given terms we were supplied with.  What the fuck does “I’m so stressed” actually mean?

It may be vital to understand anxiety & what it does to us.

Anxiety is a generalized mood condition that can often occur without an identifiable triggering stimulus. As such, it is distinguished from fear, which is an emotional response to a perceived threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is related to situations perceived as uncontrollable or unavoidable. Another view defines anxiety as “a future-oriented mood state in which one is ready or prepared to attempt to cope with upcoming negative events“, suggesting that it is a distinction between future vs. present dangers which divides anxiety and fear

I really do think now that the majority of people in the Truth Movement have been exposed to, or suffered from, extreme forms of anxiety & that this has led to the hyper-vigilance that allows them to see threats …

… long before the more ‘relaxed’ members of society.

But … there is a high price that comes with that.

Although the body works as a whole,
I’m going to focus for now on the almonds …

… in your brain.

amygdala … , from Greek αμυγδαλή, amygdalē, ‘almond’, … are almond-shaped groups of nuclei located deep within the medial temporal lobes of the brain … [they]  perform primary roles in the formation and storage of memories associated with emotional events

To paint a more accurate picture of anxiety, let’s let the nutted almond illuminate us.

The fruit of the wild forms contains the glycoside amygdalin, “which becomes transformed into deadly prussic acid (hydrogen cyanide) …

… after crushing, chewing, or any other injury to the seed

Recalling that …

The amygdale is like a guard dog that never sleeps. It instantly senses danger and calculates magnitude of risk in microseconds

… it is most interesting to find that the bible should associate almonds with ‘watchfulness’:

In the Old Testament, the almond was a symbol of watchfulness and promise due to its early flowering, symbolizing God’s sudden and rapid punishment of His people …

In the Bible the almond is mentioned ten times, beginning with Book of Genesis 43:11, where it is described as “among the best of fruits.”

According to tradition, the rod of Aaron …

… bore sweet almonds on one side and bitter on the other; if the Israelites followed the Lord, the sweet almonds would be ripe and edible, but if they were to forsake the path of the Lord, …

… the bitter almonds would predominate

The almond blossom supplied a model for the …

… menorah which stood in the Holy Temple

The image of the almond tree, the first tree to bloom, reminds us

… of the watchful eye of God

 “The Hebrew name for almond is thus “shaked“, meaning watchful, wakeful, diligent, or alert.

“The Lord asked me: Jeremiah, what do you see?
I answered: I see a branch of an almond tree (shaked).
The Lord said to me:
You have seen right,
For I am watchful (shoked)

… to bring My word to pass” (Jeremiah 1:11-12)

It interests me very much now, how religion works – the implied threats that await us should we disobey.  Nothing is proven, all is implied:

Anxiety … is distinguished from fear, which is an emotional response to a perceived threat … anxiety is related to situations perceived as uncontrollable or unavoidable

… Another view defines anxiety as “a future-oriented

“Many times, these conflicts between unconscious fear & conscious events lead to a mysterious kind of numbing … The brain always chooses to shine it’s spotlight on fear above other emotions

Simultaneously seeing & “not seeing” the fear created twice the amount of activation that simply seeing the fear did … what was surprising … was that unconscious fear has a greater impact than conscious fear on brain activation

What you don’t know activates the amydala more than what you do know

It is the anticipation of fear that makes people spiral out of control or develop ways to avoid it … most of the unpleasant effects of fear … occur when we are …

 at a distance from it
the bark of fear is often worse than its bite

The amount of dread people felt was directly related to the amount of attention they paid to the possible negative outcomes

Without stories all this is mere information.

I grew up in an environment that I can now see was like a prison.  The anxiety of my mother required that we shut out the world.  We were immigrants to this country so no other family members were around to question what happened.  The message I absorbed was that there was great danger in the outside world & through other people:

Your own amygdala can create the identical electrical current in the amygdala of another person

I never knew what that danger was.

I still don’t.

She had sentenced us all into her world, the world where only she could feel safe

We each had our own cage which remained the same size.  As we grew physically we had less room in the cage to move

Now her world is shrinking & breaking, the house which once stood strong is oozing filth, hate, anger, suppression, death

I see this old frail woman breaking in parts, yet still fully consumed in hate & anger of her neighbour … they almost deserve each other.  Two sick souls consumed in self” (from a letter written recently by my sister)

If fear causes us to be consumed in self – then we come full circle back to identity.

But have we actually travelled anywhere?

The electrical energy of a thought can be converted into action if it is directed away or through the amygdala to an action centre in the brain.  Thus reiterating thoughts without connecting them to action closes the circuit before the bulb is turned on

I return to my feeling that those in the Truth Movement have highly activated amygdalae & this is why they picked up on the lies & threats awash in the world now.

But an intensively activated amygdala is also highly unreliable:

What we are therefore coming to see is that the amygdala affects the way we view the world

There may be too many times when our one-plus-oneing = 33:

when it perceives two segments of a line that are situated close enough together, the brain sees it as one continuous line.  In the same way, when presented with two closely related thoughts, it combines them to make up a story.  Fear stories abound in the human brain.  But we must be suspicious of them if we are to act at all

The decisions we have made about ourselves may affect how we see things.  How many in the truth movement feel like outcasts?

self-impression & level of anxiety may affect how you process subliminal fear … When faced with danger that registers on an unconscious level, your response will be greater if you are highly anxious … or if you feel socially undesirable

If we’re going to make a difference, we need to be asking clear-sighted questions, otherwise we become the conspiratorial equivalent of headless chickens.

If our desire is to create a healthy world that our loved ones & ourselves can live in, then I think it is worth entertaining the idea that many of us may have been shaped by extreme anxiety.  In the allowing of that possibility I am inclined to think we can begin to move forward into something good.

I feel that I have made vast leaps forward this year by seeing my past with honesty

Much of the challenge lies in finding a way to decrease the amygdala activation.  In psychological terms, this implies finding the right path to the amygdala by precisely identifying the fears that are activating it … sometimes you literally have to go where all this feeling lies

This need for truth in my own life has led to an increasing inner flexibility that no amount of conspiracy research ever supplied:

stories that support feeling “stuck” are almost never helpful, whereas stories that acknowledge difficulties but promote movement do help people move forward with their lives

The amygdala needs time to quite down before you can perceive positive things accurately

Remember that the amygdala does not just process fear: It processes all emotions, but it defaults to fear because it is so overwhelming

if you let your brain know that change is difficult but your fears are irrational, it will cooperate accordingly …  Our brains are much more cooperative than we think.  We just have to give them clear information about what our desires are

To return to where we started with the potential suffocation of identity, we can ask:

Can a wider focus actually contribute to our life AND to truth?

It is truly to your advantage to live in third person, because you will gain greater perception, & more of an ability to create what you want.”  It will help you appreciate differences & feel a stronger sense of your own  individuality.  In the first person you are comparing yourself to everyone else … You are limited to questions of identity … the first person inhibits accurate observation

When we listen to our passions, the amygdala stops growling & we are able to find what we need.  But when we fight this impulse, the amygdala roars even louder

I was pondering this morning about the ways in which we have been driven into self-obsession & recalled reading the words of a school teacher who pointed out how pupils are forced to go it alone in school.  This is an educational lie – in life we do not face every test & trial alone, instead we seek the help & advice of others who know more than we.  I wonder just how much schools have been behind our intense & anxious self-focus. If we equated self-obsession with being forced to go it alone we might see yet another way the amygdala has been forced into overdrive.

Text in this colour from “Creating” ~ Robert Fritz

Text in this colour from “Life Unlocked” ~ Srinivasan Pillay

October 24, 2011. Uncategorized. 23 comments.

Frozen minds

I stood gazing at the white cotton cloth
that we had stretched out over a wooden frame
on my kitchen table …

The wax was heating on the stove …
But first I had to think of a design …
The cotton fabric looked fresh, pure & inviting, …
but I was convinced that I was about to ruin it.
As I gazed at the white cloth I realised I was looking into
the great white blank of my own mind …
I was frozen.
”     Juliet Batten~The Visual Diary

~  ~  ~

I got disconnected recently,
 from my old home,
from my son (who went on holiday the day after we moved)

… from the internet & thus,
my like-minded friends
my research
my blog.

I thought once I was up & running again, I’d be able to jump straight back into the breast article I’d been working on beforehand.

But I was wrong – it wouldn’t flow.  I felt angry & frustrated.  After so much interruption I was hungering for the connection that comes through creating.

And you know what?

I think that’s how we should feel when we are not originating because it’s just NOT natural.

A little while ago I interviewed a …

real expert

I could tell he was genuine because he had no letters after his name.

But also by the fact that he is seven years old & thus has been creating since he was born.

In our conversation, the concepts of  …

… play & creating
intricately …

… interwoven.

Being an expert, my young friend knows that they are two sides of the same coin.

I asked:

What would it be like if you couldn’t play/create?

He answered:

It’s as if a part of your heart dies

and I asked:

Is play your friend


Later, in response to query of what it would be like, if for some reason he could never play/create again, he replied:

it would haunt your heart for the rest of your life

He told me that that line came from a movie, but he’d changed it slightly so it would answer my question (that’s called creating).

Aside: An interesting line from another movie:

“Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
John: So, who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.”

Why is it that I feel alive & vital when I create?

Perhaps it is because for a change …

… I come second.

 Our culture directs us to obsess about ourselves.

in creating,
it is the creation
that takes centre stage –

… and we blissfully, become the stage-hand toiling tirelessly, selflessly, happily, alively – to bring our creation-child into existence.

In the creative process, love is generative rather than simply responsive …  a creator is able to love something that does not yet exist – even in the imagination – and bring it into existence. From nothing something is formed
(all quotes in this colour from The Path of Least Resistance~Robert Fritz)

We may play the instrument …

… but we are not the music.

A couple of days ago, my sister & I paid a visit to our mother’s very-long-term psychiatrist.  He tells us that her condition stems from extreme anxiety.

Well this anxiety of hers has caused untold damage – much like the way one spoiling apple will ravage an entire barrel.

I got to wondering about how much destruction may be caused by our incessant focus upon …

… ourselves
& our problems.

In our manic efforts to contain, elude, solve or cure them (& ourselves), what mischief & destruction do we heap upon others & our world?

It is inherent in this structure that any actions you take to solve structural conflict only reinforce the experience of limitation & hence the structure itself.

I am currently entertaining the idea that the Truth Movement is composed of people of a certain disposition, who were deeply wounded in a some way, while growing up.

I know it’s cool to think we are ‘aware’ & awake & so much more ‘knowing’ than the rest of the ‘sheeple’ – but what if our vigilance & questioning & demand for ‘Truth’ results from some deep ambiguity in our individual pasts – when we were not allowed …

 to know what we knew.

If  that were so – is it possible that the conspiracy movement was especially crafted to appeal to this particular type of personality & wounding?

Is the relentless search for THE truth, an echo …

… of our own times-past?

How can squeezing the truth out of every dark deed generate anything … let alone a world we would like to live in?

When will knowing who jenga’d the TwoTowers add to the vitality of our lives?

Since they don’t know how to create what they want to create, people often see problems as relevant to life & filled with important content.  But upon close examination, problems are most often irrelevant.  As a way of life, not much can come out of problem solving.

I certainly have a hunger to understand what’s going on in this world, but it’s now secondary to my desire for aliveness.

We do have many problems.  They do need attention.  But problem solving is an unsound & inadequate way of creating the civilisation that we want, & most often it hardly changes the difficulties that do exist.

Forget (pseudo)liberty, (fluffy)equality & (sham)democracy, our civilisation is truly, madly, deeply rooted into problems & the solving thereof:

We need to recognise that this kind of action only buys us time.  If this time is not used to create a viable society, we have only postponed more tragedy

Dammit, we’ve been lashed to the same bloody starting-bLOCK(ed)
for hundreds of years.

From a pragmatic viewpoint, most of the people who have tried to adopt a problem-solving approach have given up … all that happened was that we came up with a lot of interesting, useless stuff … it was impractical & in many cases, just dumb

So what’s the solution to this dilemma?

You want to know?


If you answered “Yes” to the above, then repeat after me “My name is —————— & I’m addicted to problem solving.

What have we just been exploring?

Problem solving does not enable them to create what they want & often perpetuates what they do not want.”

I’m going to pop out on a limb now…

… & suggest most of the ills in this world result from our (yours & mine) refusal to create.

Forget the illuminati, the PTB, the NWO, the ABC, the DEF & all the other letters used to convince you that the problems (& answers) are OUT THERE – those are just the same old letters in different sequences – nothing new there!

This world is up to us & always has been – unless we begin creating a-new, we’re going to be swallowing the same OLD future … same ingredients = same taste.

I think creating is intricately connected to the health of the world.

In fact I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it is THE the Philosopher’s Stone:

a legendary alchemical substance said to be capable of turning base metals … into gold … or silver … sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality

& Holy Grail:

sacred object figuring in literature and certain Christian traditions, most often identified with the dish, plate, or cup used by Jesus at the Last Supper and said to possess miraculous powers

I think creating is the part of ourselves we traded-in to become acceptable a-dolts in the Western world.

Although we’ve been misdirected on many levels, the Human Containment Policy seems to have centred mainly on deleting our ability/desire to create.

Here is a list of the requirements I have found important in creating these articles:

enormous amounts of time
a sense of spaciousness
crazy thinking
connecting with other questioning minds
new ideas
new sights & sounds
freedom in mind & body

How strange then that our advanced civilisation meets these requirements by …

… wielding clamps.

Creating is an unstoppable force in childhood – it’s how children learn so much, so fast.

So what happens to them?

My seven-year old expert tells me that:

There’s always childhood partly inside the adult

That’s great news, yet something happens along the way:

I really do feel that the natural thing is for us to be like children: paint, dance, talk, make up stories.  As you know children just bubble up, they’re irrepressible.  Then something happens that represses them.  They stop painting, they stop singing, dancing.”  Anais Nin

Our world (b)locks children into schools, where their movements are restricted, space becomes confined, free time is delivered & removed by a bell, thoughts are ‘directed’, craziness is medicated & the new ideas, sights & sounds are limited to what is acceptable to society.

When the bones of their creative abilities are chilled:

As I gazed at the white cloth I realised I was looking into
the great white blank of my own mind …
I was frozen

… they are excreted into the workplace –

… where time is controlled, space is confined, good conversation is rare, & they will see the same sights & sounds day after day after day after …

Any lingering creative aspirations will be smothered by a constant reminder that only a small number can be great.

Should you get heart-sore & weary because your fire-to-create is smouldering & choking you – there is always the panacea of criticism – where you can rip apart, bitch & deride the great ones & their works until the choking feeling subsides.

And yet, and yet what have you created?

Where is your work?

My seven year old expert explains that:

Seeing it is the real thing

& would have me understand that the expense & the difficulty of creating:

don’t matter

It’s about the achievement – seeing, feeling, experiencing something that you have brought into creation.

“It is good for you to know that the circumstances that presently exist are not the determining factor of the results you desire to create.  You are not limited by them, even though it may seem you are entrenched in them.

I want to close just for now with a little more understanding from our creating expert.

He warned me of the dangers of an overloaded head:

If the brain gets too filled up, the brain starts to die – it makes the brain feel fizzy … you have to try & empty it out

He further explained the mind by likening it to a piece of paper filled with pencil markings …

…  if it’s all full up there is no room for anything new.  When this expert’s  mind is too full he will do something to ‘empty it out‘ – if he is thinking of homework he has to do & a tv programme he wants to watch & other things he has to do, then he will do one of those things to get it out of his head & allow space to create.

If there is no space on ‘the paper’ then no new ideas can come.  When I asked him how much space was necessary, he thought for a bit & said:

enough for two & a bit creations

He also said that we can use ‘play’ as an eraser to help empty our [paper] minds so that there is more space to create something new.

A new friend made this comment to me recently:

I know, I am obsessed with thinking/reasoning too much

He is not alone.  We are trained to obsess endlessly – to keep our minds piled up with junk – seeking solutions & answers.

So …  for the love of life, make some space in your head & go create something.

With the understanding that:

  • It does NOT have to be good
  • You do not have to like it when it’s finished

Do we really know if God said his creation was good?

He might have said:

Whoops I think I made that a bit small

Go reclaim your Philospher’s Stone.

~  ~  ~

Many, many thanks to our creative expert.

Additional:  My brother, who has not seen this article, sent this fantastic link today – just listen to this man’s words! Cheers Barney

October 13, 2011. Uncategorized. 14 comments.

in a new place

Just a quick note to say
a big thank you
for the good wishes & comments.

All is well in my new place & yesterday a stork pterodactyl finally delivered my internet connection.

A new article is in creation …

Very best to all

October 9, 2011. Uncategorized. 3 comments.