Frozen minds

I stood gazing at the white cotton cloth
that we had stretched out over a wooden frame
on my kitchen table …

The wax was heating on the stove …
But first I had to think of a design …
The cotton fabric looked fresh, pure & inviting, …
but I was convinced that I was about to ruin it.
As I gazed at the white cloth I realised I was looking into
the great white blank of my own mind …
I was frozen.
”     Juliet Batten~The Visual Diary

~  ~  ~

I got disconnected recently,
 from my old home,
from my son (who went on holiday the day after we moved)

… from the internet & thus,
my like-minded friends
my research
my blog.

I thought once I was up & running again, I’d be able to jump straight back into the breast article I’d been working on beforehand.

But I was wrong – it wouldn’t flow.  I felt angry & frustrated.  After so much interruption I was hungering for the connection that comes through creating.

And you know what?

I think that’s how we should feel when we are not originating because it’s just NOT natural.

A little while ago I interviewed a …

real expert

I could tell he was genuine because he had no letters after his name.

But also by the fact that he is seven years old & thus has been creating since he was born.

In our conversation, the concepts of  …

… play & creating
intricately …

… interwoven.

Being an expert, my young friend knows that they are two sides of the same coin.

I asked:

What would it be like if you couldn’t play/create?

He answered:

It’s as if a part of your heart dies

and I asked:

Is play your friend


Later, in response to query of what it would be like, if for some reason he could never play/create again, he replied:

it would haunt your heart for the rest of your life

He told me that that line came from a movie, but he’d changed it slightly so it would answer my question (that’s called creating).

Aside: An interesting line from another movie:

“Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
John: So, who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.”

Why is it that I feel alive & vital when I create?

Perhaps it is because for a change …

… I come second.

 Our culture directs us to obsess about ourselves.

in creating,
it is the creation
that takes centre stage –

… and we blissfully, become the stage-hand toiling tirelessly, selflessly, happily, alively – to bring our creation-child into existence.

In the creative process, love is generative rather than simply responsive …  a creator is able to love something that does not yet exist – even in the imagination – and bring it into existence. From nothing something is formed
(all quotes in this colour from The Path of Least Resistance~Robert Fritz)

We may play the instrument …

… but we are not the music.

A couple of days ago, my sister & I paid a visit to our mother’s very-long-term psychiatrist.  He tells us that her condition stems from extreme anxiety.

Well this anxiety of hers has caused untold damage – much like the way one spoiling apple will ravage an entire barrel.

I got to wondering about how much destruction may be caused by our incessant focus upon …

… ourselves
& our problems.

In our manic efforts to contain, elude, solve or cure them (& ourselves), what mischief & destruction do we heap upon others & our world?

It is inherent in this structure that any actions you take to solve structural conflict only reinforce the experience of limitation & hence the structure itself.

I am currently entertaining the idea that the Truth Movement is composed of people of a certain disposition, who were deeply wounded in a some way, while growing up.

I know it’s cool to think we are ‘aware’ & awake & so much more ‘knowing’ than the rest of the ‘sheeple’ – but what if our vigilance & questioning & demand for ‘Truth’ results from some deep ambiguity in our individual pasts – when we were not allowed …

 to know what we knew.

If  that were so – is it possible that the conspiracy movement was especially crafted to appeal to this particular type of personality & wounding?

Is the relentless search for THE truth, an echo …

… of our own times-past?

How can squeezing the truth out of every dark deed generate anything … let alone a world we would like to live in?

When will knowing who jenga’d the TwoTowers add to the vitality of our lives?

Since they don’t know how to create what they want to create, people often see problems as relevant to life & filled with important content.  But upon close examination, problems are most often irrelevant.  As a way of life, not much can come out of problem solving.

I certainly have a hunger to understand what’s going on in this world, but it’s now secondary to my desire for aliveness.

We do have many problems.  They do need attention.  But problem solving is an unsound & inadequate way of creating the civilisation that we want, & most often it hardly changes the difficulties that do exist.

Forget (pseudo)liberty, (fluffy)equality & (sham)democracy, our civilisation is truly, madly, deeply rooted into problems & the solving thereof:

We need to recognise that this kind of action only buys us time.  If this time is not used to create a viable society, we have only postponed more tragedy

Dammit, we’ve been lashed to the same bloody starting-bLOCK(ed)
for hundreds of years.

From a pragmatic viewpoint, most of the people who have tried to adopt a problem-solving approach have given up … all that happened was that we came up with a lot of interesting, useless stuff … it was impractical & in many cases, just dumb

So what’s the solution to this dilemma?

You want to know?


If you answered “Yes” to the above, then repeat after me “My name is —————— & I’m addicted to problem solving.

What have we just been exploring?

Problem solving does not enable them to create what they want & often perpetuates what they do not want.”

I’m going to pop out on a limb now…

… & suggest most of the ills in this world result from our (yours & mine) refusal to create.

Forget the illuminati, the PTB, the NWO, the ABC, the DEF & all the other letters used to convince you that the problems (& answers) are OUT THERE – those are just the same old letters in different sequences – nothing new there!

This world is up to us & always has been – unless we begin creating a-new, we’re going to be swallowing the same OLD future … same ingredients = same taste.

I think creating is intricately connected to the health of the world.

In fact I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it is THE the Philosopher’s Stone:

a legendary alchemical substance said to be capable of turning base metals … into gold … or silver … sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality

& Holy Grail:

sacred object figuring in literature and certain Christian traditions, most often identified with the dish, plate, or cup used by Jesus at the Last Supper and said to possess miraculous powers

I think creating is the part of ourselves we traded-in to become acceptable a-dolts in the Western world.

Although we’ve been misdirected on many levels, the Human Containment Policy seems to have centred mainly on deleting our ability/desire to create.

Here is a list of the requirements I have found important in creating these articles:

enormous amounts of time
a sense of spaciousness
crazy thinking
connecting with other questioning minds
new ideas
new sights & sounds
freedom in mind & body

How strange then that our advanced civilisation meets these requirements by …

… wielding clamps.

Creating is an unstoppable force in childhood – it’s how children learn so much, so fast.

So what happens to them?

My seven-year old expert tells me that:

There’s always childhood partly inside the adult

That’s great news, yet something happens along the way:

I really do feel that the natural thing is for us to be like children: paint, dance, talk, make up stories.  As you know children just bubble up, they’re irrepressible.  Then something happens that represses them.  They stop painting, they stop singing, dancing.”  Anais Nin

Our world (b)locks children into schools, where their movements are restricted, space becomes confined, free time is delivered & removed by a bell, thoughts are ‘directed’, craziness is medicated & the new ideas, sights & sounds are limited to what is acceptable to society.

When the bones of their creative abilities are chilled:

As I gazed at the white cloth I realised I was looking into
the great white blank of my own mind …
I was frozen

… they are excreted into the workplace –

… where time is controlled, space is confined, good conversation is rare, & they will see the same sights & sounds day after day after day after …

Any lingering creative aspirations will be smothered by a constant reminder that only a small number can be great.

Should you get heart-sore & weary because your fire-to-create is smouldering & choking you – there is always the panacea of criticism – where you can rip apart, bitch & deride the great ones & their works until the choking feeling subsides.

And yet, and yet what have you created?

Where is your work?

My seven year old expert explains that:

Seeing it is the real thing

& would have me understand that the expense & the difficulty of creating:

don’t matter

It’s about the achievement – seeing, feeling, experiencing something that you have brought into creation.

“It is good for you to know that the circumstances that presently exist are not the determining factor of the results you desire to create.  You are not limited by them, even though it may seem you are entrenched in them.

I want to close just for now with a little more understanding from our creating expert.

He warned me of the dangers of an overloaded head:

If the brain gets too filled up, the brain starts to die – it makes the brain feel fizzy … you have to try & empty it out

He further explained the mind by likening it to a piece of paper filled with pencil markings …

…  if it’s all full up there is no room for anything new.  When this expert’s  mind is too full he will do something to ‘empty it out‘ – if he is thinking of homework he has to do & a tv programme he wants to watch & other things he has to do, then he will do one of those things to get it out of his head & allow space to create.

If there is no space on ‘the paper’ then no new ideas can come.  When I asked him how much space was necessary, he thought for a bit & said:

enough for two & a bit creations

He also said that we can use ‘play’ as an eraser to help empty our [paper] minds so that there is more space to create something new.

A new friend made this comment to me recently:

I know, I am obsessed with thinking/reasoning too much

He is not alone.  We are trained to obsess endlessly – to keep our minds piled up with junk – seeking solutions & answers.

So …  for the love of life, make some space in your head & go create something.

With the understanding that:

  • It does NOT have to be good
  • You do not have to like it when it’s finished

Do we really know if God said his creation was good?

He might have said:

Whoops I think I made that a bit small

Go reclaim your Philospher’s Stone.

~  ~  ~

Many, many thanks to our creative expert.

Additional:  My brother, who has not seen this article, sent this fantastic link today – just listen to this man’s words! Cheers Barney

October 13, 2011. Uncategorized.


  1. Joanne replied:

    Glad you are back and just as thought provoking as ever. Loved the quotes from your interview too. It’s nice to hear something optimistic about creating – whatever it may be – and you’re absolutely right, there is some sort of stifling adulthood that sets into that compulsion to just… play. With no expectation of the results. That is pure, and absolutely necessary.

    A few years ago I learned that most public schools, esp. here in America, were originally designed by the same architects who designed prisons. No surprise there, I suppose, as they are academic *institutions*.

    But it is tragic that the desire to create is often buried beneath the fear of the result. That is very much my problem as well, especially with art work. I thought when I quit art school that everything would just pour out naturally – but perhaps my head hasn’t been emptied of all the pressure I was under previously. What’s saddest to me is the thought that I can’t create without that pressure – which is not even natural to begin with – and certainly not why I signed up for art school in the first place.

    Emptying our heads, now that right there is a challenge. I told you recently about removing physical clutter – but mental clutter? My god, the makes the physical clutter seem almost nonexistent.
    I’m on the verge of creating something new, though. I just know it. Actually I was just about to, but I came over here to respond to your previous post, and this was up… so I take it as a good sign :] It was great, loved the first image you picked too btw, the abstract

    What you said to me recently about forgiveness has stayed on my mind. Shortly after you said it, I noticed a few people in my life were still holding past hurts against me. It really resonated with me then.
    It seems we are all of the mind that we CAN forgive, but of course, we don’t want to be hurt again. Fool me twice, and all that.
    But I wonder now, after what you said to me, if that unwillingness to ever be hurt again is exactly what impedes us from forgiving. Obviously, not saying that line should never be drawn – but still, I wonder if that’s what makes forgiveness so… so troubling.
    Which makes me wonder even further… am I being punished for past hurts, or potential ones? ;]

    People are funny. Glad you’re back, take great risks!

  2. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks Joanne
    Wow that’s amazing & unsurprising about prisons & schools – I only have to see the railings to think of prison.

    Yes isn’t it incredible how much we fear the result of our creations – surely that is a great sickness. Have a look at Robert Fritz’s work if you can – I go back to it again & again – we have it all ‘arse about face’ – pressure, pain, blood, sweat & tears are all completely unnecessary for creating.

    I remember how my ex bore a grudge for ages UNTIL he found a new love & then it was as if no bad feelings had ever existed – that’s when I first started to see how forgiveness is a myth – we simply move on – we’re supposed to. Maybe autumn leaves fall so easily because the tree is already anticipating it’s splendid rebirth in Spring.

    You just keep living & risk-taking, & perhaps you might inspire the grudge holders to let go of some of their old leaves!

    Shine on

  3. tom cuddy replied:

    When we hit a flat spot creatively, enjoy it, call it a fast, a time to
    rest and exercise another part of our spirit. It works for all the truth
    crap and that which the PHD super saturated minds, always willing
    to share a more complex view of things, give us. Grow in simplicity.

    Have a great summer!

  4. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Very nice ‘creation’ here Alex! Inspiring! Just what I needed on a rainy day! I was very glad to have read Fritz’s work awhile back this summer.

    I need to do a mental clearing myself and create!!!

    Absolutely felt the same—no sense in giving anymore attention to PTBs, etc.etc. The pull to LIVE and be ALIVE is too strong.

    Great work again,

  5. Lois Martin replied:

    Oooooh, I think this move is really a marvelous opportunity for you. I felt something brand-new in this latest blog. Something I can’t put my finger on but I’m excited as I read here and just know it’s getting better and better. Maybe it’s that clean white canvas. A new beginning, with limitation only a fuzzy memory that is swiftly fading. A move always helps to remove excess baggage and worn out excercises. A brand new perspective from an inspiring woman.

    Thank you for sharing your deep and inspiring journey with us, your readers, who feel an unexplainable connection with the expression of your honest and most personal path.


  6. paulo replied:

    Why not put a child in front of the world bank? surely it would be wiser than the dead souls they put in charge… or they think they do…

  7. Kyle John Collet replied:

    Hi Alex,
    Thank you so much for this uplifting article. I think most of us in this alternative research/podcasting/blogging/being human movement get stuck in our own minds sometimes. With some of the negative issues we look at everyday we sometimes need to recharge and remember we are most alive when we create. I recently was in a mental rut. Going out with my gf and my dog for a walk and seeing the beauty of the fall season and adults out playing frisbee was the re-charging I needed. Thanks so much for all your insights and I wish you all the best in your new place.


    • alex robinson replied:

      Thanks Tom – tho’ creating may be a little like breathing – not good to fast for too long :)

      very best to you

      Thanks Michael
      So glad the pull to life is showing up in your life – may it just get better & better!

      Keep shining!

      Many thanks Lois – your comment was very heartening & meant a lot.

      very best to you

      Hi Paulo
      I have often thought that the financial world should be put into the hands of children – they would figure out a number of ways to make it work well, the adults job would just be to tidy up the lose ends! I’ll bet the currency they would choose would be great fun :)

      Thanks also for your kind wishes for my new home


      Many thanks Kyle – the outside world offers great recharges – I think that’s why we’re been pulled more & more indoors & into media mind-traps. I’ve just been out for a night stroll myself – does the heart good – tho’ here of course, it’s Spring :)

      very best to you

  8. pavman replied:

    After spending two months in China, which by the way you are blocked by the great wall, they are onto you:P. I have little idea of what you are writing. It seems as though being in a foreign, communist land has totally reduced any understanding of what you are expressing and I have to re-learn.

    It also seems the previous ideas that i had while going acorss the border have all changed after seeing the magnitude of density and pollution that it is hard to then comprehend a slower throught out lifestyle, which is indeed required to contemplate and absorb life.

    I wonder if the time we have is a luxury and if we were put into an environment with so much competition and angst that we would still feel as connected with our thoughts.

  9. Cenk replied:

    ‘Education’ was one of the worst things that happened to us. We were all FEELING that it was wrong, but our parents were THINKING that it was right. So, we were helpless,

    and they set us on a path where we were bound to get ill.

    But, passion never dies.

    Now, knowing that it takes love over gold and mind over matter to create,

    we must remember,

    when we were young, we shone like the sun …


    Alex, thank you for this inspiring article. Tried to play in your style :)

    • alex robinson replied:

      Hi Pavman – sounds like that was a real eye-opener. Never underestimate the influence of the West to get things choked & speeded up.

      If time becomes a luxury – then surely so does life – too often we make our judgements based on people who are worse off than ourselves – we accept, be grateful for what we have because others have less – to my mind that’s one of the cleverest control mechanisms in existence – nothing can be created from that thought – we simply grasp tighter onto what we have for as long as we can – nothing new is added to our world.
      Will address this more in the follow up article.

      very best to you

      Hi Cenk
      Glad you played- plus very good point on education.
      I think passion comes thro’ connection to, relationship with, & creation of, things outside ourselves – it’s not a given – so we have to fan the flames with action.

      Thanks for the music :)
      very best to you.

      • Cenk replied:

        You are right about passion. I guess films like Rocky showed us the wrong way by fanning the flames of our egos.

      • alex robinson replied:

        Hi Cenk – will be playing with some more ideas on passion. I’ve never seen Rocky – tho’ I think perhaps ego’s have been given some bad press – I think I’d rather trust an ego than a movie :)

        very best to you

  10. Destruction Towards The Original Other (in response to How a Muse Sing) | TheLoosh replied:

    […] I don’t know what I’ll be writing next. I’m gonna work on emptying out my head first. […]

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