fated feet

Remember what Bilbo used to say: It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door …

You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to

Human being: – the most curious species to never walk the earth.

I would like to suggest that the following biblical line is bollocks:

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth

Taking a peek at meek we find:

long-suffering, spineless or spiritless, compliant, deficient in spirit and courage

submissive and subservient

I reckon it’s time to amen-d the bible:

Blessed are the humble, for they shall inherit the earth

The reason the humble would get to inherit Terra firma, has all to do with the fact that their feet never left it in the first place:

humble (adj.)   … from L. humilis “lowly, humble,” lit. “on the ground,” from humus “earth”.

Near the ground; not high or lofty; not pretentious or magnificent; unpretending

This life of ours, is rooted in our bodies.  And it is only by the grace of these bodies, that …

… modern head-life can exist at all.

Maybe it’s time to come home to our bodies.

AND time to wonder why we were evicted in the first place.

Your root chakra is your connection and grounding

… to your physical surroundings

… your sense of belonging in the physical world

The first chakra … known as the root chakra … is the closest Chakra to the ground …

… and controls our sense of stability and security in this life. It is where we get our footingstand our ground and find our strength

Expressions like “Be on firm ground” and “Getting on your feet again” convey a good connection and an open Root chakra …

… “To lose ground” and “Getting swept off your feet” convey a closed (or almost closed) Root chakra. When your Root chakra is closed too far, you may actually feel that your feet don’t seem to really touch the ground” 

The only one of the seven Chakras that is always active in all people … the parts of the body nourished by the Root Chakra [are] the BASE OF THE SPINE, LEGS and FEET.

… The body and the world in which it dwells is the domain of the Root Chakra

In an ideal world we would walk this earth in deep connection.

You may have noticed
that this is
an ideal world.

I’m going to suggest that treasure, along with loads of crap,
has been hidden inside many of our
fairy tales – those places where we were
shown truth
fed lies.

 Why is it that so many fairy tales had such a fascination with feet?

Suffering feet

Disconnected feet

Un-grounded feet

To remain in the company of her prince she must endure an agony in her feet that redoubles with every step she takes.  To obtain human feet at all she has had to sacrifice her voice” ~ The Little Mermaid

Meet Mr Anderson – the great Dane.

Hans Christian Andersen is considered the father of the modern fairy tale … Many of his original tales … entered the collective consciousness with the same mythic power as the ancient, anonymous ones

Now that’s some power!

A quick look at this myth maker reveals some strangeness – though he was merely the son of a cobbler:

King Frederick VI took a personal interest in him as a youth and paid for a part of his education

This man whose stories reached inside the minds of so many children, was sexually confused:

Just as with his interest in women, Andersen would become attracted to nonreciprocating men. For example, Andersen wrote to Edvard Collin: “I languish for you as for a pretty Calabrian wench… my sentiments for you are those of a woman. The femininity of my nature and our friendship must remain a mystery.” … In recent times some literary studies have speculated about the homoerotic camouflage in Andersen’s works

Returning to our topic, I came across the following in my web travels, it speaks of another unfortunate Anderson heroine:

Inger is not the only pretty girl in Andersen’s stories who suffers dreadfully, and usually feet are somehow involved Scholars far more accomplished than I have noted the degree to which Andersen “tortures” his beautiful & footsore heroines”  Link

There was The Little Match Girl …

In the cold and the darkness, a poor little girl, with bare head and naked feet roamed through the streets …  the little girl went on with her little naked feet, which were quite red and blue with the cold 

… but she burned out pretty fast …

 … In the dawn of morning there lay the poor little one … she had been frozen to death on the last evening of the year; and the New-year’s sun rose and shone upon a little corpse!

And the inhuman story of The Red Shoes:

Thou shalt dance!” he said—“dance on thy red shoes, till thou art pale and cold, and till thy body shrivels to a skeleton …Thou shalt dance, dance!” …

… The shoes carried her on over thorn and brier; she scratched herself till she bled; she danced away across the heath to a little lonely house. Here she knew the executioner dwelt; and she tapped with her fingers on the panes, and called,—
“Come out, come out! I cannot come in, for I must dance!

And the Executioner said,—
“You probably don’t know who I am? I cut off the bad people’s heads with my axe!”

“Do not strike off my head,” said Karen, “for if you do I cannot repent of my sin …

… But strike off my feet with the red shoes?

Andersen didn’t let the boys go scot-free either.

In the Steadfast Tin Soldier, his hero had only one leg to stand on. The love of his life was also an uno-ped.

In a symbolic echo of the Little Match Girl, they got burned out pretty fast too.

Presently one of the little boys took up the tin soldier, and threw him into the stove. He had no reason for doing so … The flames lighted up the tin soldier, as he stood, the heat was very terrible … He felt himself melting away, but he still remained firm with his gun on his shoulder. Suddenly the door of the room flew open and the draught of air caught up the little dancer, she fluttered like a sylph right into the stove by the side of the tin soldier, and was instantly in flames and was gone

I’d like to suggest that when we don’t own our own feet, we get burned out as well.

According to Greek legend, the feet symbolized the soul

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads” ~Henry David Thoreau

I want to have a go now at undoing romance.  If the men who read this far now think it’s now time to sign out now & leave it to the women, they’d be mistaken.

romance    c.1300, “story of a hero’s adventures”.

Romance is, & always has been, sharply two-pronged – it’s just that the sexes got forked in different ways.

I’m going to start with the women, since everyone knows that women are into

… ‘all that romance bull shit’.

For the sake of this article I’m re-labelling the female version of romance as Toxic Waiting Syndrome.

Toxic Waiting is the underlying theme of virtually every fairy tale ‘programme’, as it is aimed at girls.

I don’t claim to have all the ins & outs, I’m just using what I’ve found in my life, talks with others & abundant musing.  By re-looking at fairy tales in this context, I am now seeing that successful implementation of romance equates to the psychic crippling  …

… or removal of a woman’s feet.

I must add here that there will be no attack on men because as we shall see, they have been crippled, but in a different way.  Rather this is an exploration on the cunning, almost scientific formula, behind romance.

For now let’s continue on the woman’s path.

Why would it be necessary to remove/cripple the feet of an entire gender?

Whether or not there was a mistranslation, Cinderella’s glass slippers most certainly…

entered the collective consciousness with the same mythic power as the ancient, anonymous ones

Who voluntarily places their bare feet in, let alone near, glass?

Rapunzel’s feet on the other hand …

… never even got
to touch the earth.

The feet of
Sleeping Beauty …

& Snow White,
were also held aloft.

the sleeping, comatose & …

…  the dead
do not need their feet.

The grand outcome of all ‘great’ fairy tales & all great romances for a woman, is the sweeping off her feet by a charming Prince.

The notion is so widespread that we never thought to ask: “Why did we fall for this?”

Your root chakra is your connection and grounding to your physical surroundings your sense of belonging in the physical world

What will this lass do once she gets to her Prince’s castle?  Her gallant knight has his trusty four-feeted steed.

But where are her feet?

To lose ground” and “Getting swept off your feet” convey a closed (or almost closed) Root chakra

Actually, there is one other group of people who have little need for their feet.


I have often felt that women exist in some kind of …

… subterranean world – to me it feels like a huge pit containing all the women of the world.  We do not walk the earth as we should – something dug a hole for us once upon a time & we have been living there ever since.

I think we ended up there when we gave away our feet – when eons ago we stopped living & started waiting.

Why might women have been deliberately under-grounded?

Women … seem to respond intuitively & immediately to the “barefoot connection” & to the healing & energy of Mother Earth

Much like an animal’s paw, your foot “is the vital link” between you and the Earth … that serves to “extract” energy from the Earth—similar to the way a plant extracts moisture and nutrients from the soil.

human beings … evolved in harmony with the Earth’s natural electrical energywe literally need to recharge our batteries … to stay “grounded”.

Human beings and our hominid ancestors have walked upright for over three million years — mostly barefoot on natural terrain, in a continuing and intimate relationship with the Earth beneath their  feet. That relationship fostered the balance and physical agility

... rare in contemporary urban society  that allowed them to walk easily across a log over a stream with things balanced on their heads. It also fostered a deep enduring sense of self, and an accompanying deep sense of psychological and even spiritual security

For the love of sanity, would someone tell me why these exist?

The least secure are likely to be the ones who use the most effort just walking around, and who have the weakest sense of connection with the Earth

In what way is life enhanced by having women become ‘the least secure‘?

What lies beneath high heels (apart from crippled feet)?

Egyptian butchers also wore heels, to help them walk above the blood of dead beasts

In ancient Rome, sex trade was not illegal and female prostitutes were readily identified by their high heels

Already we can see issues of domination and submission being associated with shoes much like the lotus shoes of China. Indeed, Chinese concubines and Turkish odalisques wore high shoes, prompting scholars to speculate if heels were used not only for aesthetic reasons but also to prevent women from escaping the harem

I’ve wondered about women’s feet on & off for a number of years.

I remember once watching men & women walk & being amazed at the difference.  The men walked as if their feet dominated the earth, while the women’s feet seemed somehow … disconnected.

Without the information from your feet, your sense of connection with the Earth diminishes. No longer experiencing support from the surface beneath you, you stiffen and use effort to support yourself … What happened, to put us so out of touch with our natural birthright?

It seems criminally insane to me to remove women from the earth both are bringers/nurturers of life.  In disconnecting women from the earth have we somehow disconnected humanity from life itself?  I was thinking this morning of how women seem to fear …

… or been taught to fear, much of Mother Nature – surely this is where the feminine energy should be most at home.

Further inquiry into the de-feet of women came from seeing these toilet signs in Tokyo a few years ago:

Why oh why does the woman have only one leg?

A little foot-play:

The talus bone (Latin for ankle) … is a bone in the …foot that forms the lower part of the ankle joint

Tellus is a Latin word meaning “earth” and may refer to: An equivalent name for Terra Mater

… the Roman Earth Mother goddess … An alternative name for the planet Earth

One of the outcomes from doing the women’s show was an understanding of how so many women feel a massive disconnection from their bodies.

I would like to suggest that  ownership of our bodies comes through owning our own feet.

Some foot phrases:

Be in step.

Get a toe hold.

On your toes.

Off on the right foot.

Get back on your feet.

One step at a time.

Step lively.

Get a leg up.

To think on one’s feet.

Put your best foot forward.

A walk on the wild side.

To dig one’s heels in.

One thing I’ve encountered with women again & again is a fear of standing on their own two feet – NOT because they didn’t want to, but because they had been infantasised over & over into believing that they require …

… external approval …

 or rescue
hold them up.

You may say times have changed, but have they? You do not wipe out thousands upon thousands of years of programming quite so easily – especially when it has worked so very well.

~  ~  ~

Let’s now tip the romance coin over onto its …

… male side.

Two comments by friends cast off the next ship of thought.

My friend Katherine, who works with young children pointed out that boys receive a vast deal of imprinting through fairy tales too – initiating their early hero-slash-knight-on-white-charger training.

From there it’s a hop, skip & an over-a-tall-structure leap into the …

… superhero classroom.

In a later conversation, Michael responded that if women “exist” in a subterranean pit, then men walk above the earth, on stilts.

You know there’s a funny thing about superheroes …

… they just can’t seem to keep their feet on the ground.

In our recent podcast Michael & Fitzy discussed the idealised/heroic/romanticized but ultimately unattainable image that men ceaselessly strive to live up to.  Michael has referred to it as:

an itch that can’t be scratched

Robert Fritz  would call it an “Ideal/Belief/Reality conflict”:

Let’s say you have a belief about yourself that you don’t want, say, “I’m a coward.”  You find this belief unacceptable.  So you create an ideal of how you should be.  Most people’s ideals for themselves are based on contradicting how they really think they areWhy else would they need an ideal?  So, in our example, you would establish an ideal of courage, fearlessness, bravery, heroism, and guts.  This is the ideal to which you would aspire

Just how destructive might this …

superhero-ambition be?

What if it could make a man impotent?

Living up to an ideal is not the same as being the real thing …let’s describe the distinction in terms of sex.  Attempting to live up to an ideal of an orgasm is not the same as having a real orgasm

I used the word impotent in regard to a man’s ability to achieve what might really matter to him in creating his own life:

But then I made a discovery that was outlandish. That no matter how much you tried to get someone to think better about him or herself, they couldn’t.  Furthermore, questions of identity got in the way of the creative process, even when people thought well about themselves

Michael & Fitzy’s frank & open discussion showed us that, at the center of a man’s world, stands not himself, but an ideal or …

… idol.

Because of the descriptions Michael came up with to describe
this seemingly insatiable god,
we gave it a name –

“the Jehovian Virus

as in:

Thou shalt have no gods before me

I’m not going to suggest I understand the workings of the male mind, but I found this image today & from all the conversations that took place prior to our podcast I feel it speaks ten thousand words about the ultimate price …

… many men may be forced to pay to feed their personal gods/idols/ideals.

To be honest for a very long time I was too scared to try & write about the man/woman divide – I feared the backlash from both sexes – it’s the most nitroglycerinol subject …

… on the face of the earth.

But thanks to the courage of my friends, I have developed a more ‘fuckit’ approach.

Let’s at least try & get a dialogue going.
Let’s at least try & figure out the filthy tricks that have been played against us.
Let’s at least have a go at rekindling the most natural friendship in the world.

In the woman’s show we saw that something extremely destructive happens to many/most girls at puberty – a shock that they never properly recover from.  A shock that leads to the loss their connection to themselves, their bodies – the loss of their feet.

So what about the men.

Well it looks like they had even less luck.

They got closed down around the age of five years old:

For more than a hundred years, psychologists have observed that boys in general are more likely than girls to show signs of emotional distress in early childhood– more prone to depression, learning disorders & various forms of out-of-control or out-of-touch behaviour … the heightened risk to boys resiliency [occurs] in the late years of early childhood, roughly around the age of five – the time Freud marked as the Oedipal crisis

At five years old boys are removed from a deep & unacknowledged connection with their mothers & placed in school.  According to Michael & Fitzy & others, they are simply not ready for that:

the initiation of boys into the codes of masculinity intensifies around the age of five

I don’t think we have come anywhere near understanding the devastation to the child psyche that is caused by schooling.

Very young children who go to school for the first time feel insecure about the new surroundings and the new faces they meet…

A terrified reaction is to be expected if the children are immediately separated from their family members

I don’t think any amount of tv programming can come close to the atrocities of the schooling system.  In particular it seems to be the breeding ground around which the ‘Jehovian Virus’ flourishes.  For boys it’s when they have to ‘man up‘:

… when a boy’s expression of tenderness or vulnerability arouses fears about his ability to hold his own on the playground or anxiety about his masculinity

Tell me please why five year old boys need to hold their own?  And why at that age there should there be concerns about masculinity?

Surely that should come with puberty when the necessary hormones begin to kick in.

In our podcast we discussed the huge fear of the feminine & the horror of boys/men being effeminated.

I’m hoping we dispelled that.

You can no more effeminate a boy or man any more than you can turn …

… your right arm into your left. If you will bring to me a male who menstruates, lactates & has the ability to carry & birth a child, I will take back my words.  All you can do to a man is ‘dilute’ him to such a degree that he is a mere whisper of what he could be …

… but that is a universe away from the strength of the feminine.

Why might it have been so important to make men fear anything labelled feminine?

Could it have been a way to rip boys away from their mothers at a time when that connection is vital?

The function of women is not to outdo men, but to do for men what women alone are capable of doing; namely to prepare them as children for the job of being good human beings

It is the function of women to teach men how to be human … The greatest single step forward will be made when women consciously assume the task of teaching their children to be, like themselves, loving & cooperative” ~Ashley Montagu

To engineer a dissociation that would enable the installation of a virus?

Before they are made to forget, boys they want to remember

The son wishes to remember what the father wishes to forget~Yiddish proverb

I am hearing fathers speak of their closeness with their sons, the sweeteness & the spiritedness of the boys, & also about sadness & a loss they remember

I spoke to my 18 year old son the other day about the ideas behind the Jehovian Virus & he attested to them readily – acknowledging the constant striving but seeing it as a positive thing of always trying to achieve more.  I was happy to simply have given him some ideas that might be useful to him in the future.

There was one point of great interest to me in his ready acknowledgement of the effects on his five year old self by entrance into schooling.  Without recalling the exact words, a picture was painted of the one great fly in the male ointment – being remorselessly stalked by his …

… emotionally battered & unwanted child-self.  Here lies the split-male that every  women knows, yet pretends not to – every man’s secret shame that must never be spoken of … that clinging to the leg of every hero is the vulnerable child he was forced to abandon.

This child is dangerous because it threatens to return a man to earth.

But men have been taught to equate success with moving up …

… & away from the surface of the earth.

They know that even the manliest of heroes can fall when their feet …

… touch the earth.

They know that falling to earth …

… can unman

even biggest of daddies.

I wonder just
how much of the
moving up & away …

… from earth
has had to do with
with the …

Ultimate Daddy
thus all things manly?

So my question is this…

… has it also been necessary
to keep men/masculinity

Most cultures view the earth as mother.

Yet one of the most stomach churning taunts for a man must surely be to be labelled a “mommy’s boy“.

Is it possible that it has been very important to keep men at a distance from the female/earth?

I think there has been monumental mind fuck aimed at turning boys into would-be-soldier-machines who live in hostility & isolation.  There is a time for boys to to develop their masculinity – not that I think anyone knows what that is – but it is certainly not at five years of age.

Let the words of Ashley Montagu, a very wise man who also gave us previous views on Neoteny, suggest how we heal this world – this was written in 1954: –

Women love the human race, men are on the whole hostile to it.  Men act as if they hadn’t been adequately loved, as if they had been frustrated & rendered hostile

The world is in a mess.  Men without any assistance from women, have created the mess, not because they have been failed by women, but because men have never really given women a chance to serve them as they are best equipped to do – by teaching men how to love their fellow men

The genius of women is the genius of humanity, & humanity is the supreme form of intelligence.  Mankind has to learn that all other forms of intelligence must be secondary to the developed humane intelligence

We all know toxic women, but they are far from the majority.

Because the shut-down for men commences so young, they barely remember what they lost:

I am hearing fathers speak of their closeness with their sons … & also about sadness & a loss they remember

Young boys are extremely loving, tender, perceptive, precocious & full of life.  What fucked up system turned them into the zombies that so many have become?

I’m a woman & I think it’s time we started asking that question because I see these dead people everywhere & it’s heartbreaking.  For all my life I thought that women were fucked up & men had all the answers.  It has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to flip this world upside down.

I am a mother & I raised a son – I remember the love that came so easily from him.

It is time to stop defending a system that circumcises the spirit of boys:

The tendencies to love with which the infant is born are frustrated, & frustrated love results in hostility.  Hatred is love frustrated.  That is what too many men suffer from, & what an insufficient number of women recognize

I have been wondering about the male obsession with sex.

Surely a great deal sex is rooted in deception.  How often, if they were allowed to be honest, might a man admit that what he craves is simply closeness to the body of a woman?   ‘Masculinity’ however demands ‘performance’.  Do men understand the rage this creates in a woman’s body because you see women know that, but at the same time they are not allowed to know that?

Another suggestion …  because men are ungrounded – i.e. always heading skyward, perhaps they get overloaded with something akin to ‘static electricity’ that then needs grounding – the craving for sex may simply be that built up to extreme levels – the penis would then become their earthing rod.

What if honesty equates to earthing?

To free love & pleasure from the trappings of a manhood or womanhood that holds them captive means to undo dissociation by risking associationknowing what one knows, feeling one’s feelings, being naked in the presence of another by removing the protective clothes of masculinity & femininity, however they are culturally designed … To do so means to go back & undo the process of initiation that sanctioned the sacrifice

If you’ve made it this far I’m impressed.  What I’ve been suggesting is that neither men nor women have been walking this earth.

I see us as having lived on a static see saw – with women somehow contained in a pit lacking their feet while men reach ever upwards, giving a whole new picture to the phrase:

As above, so below

To be honest I feel its far easier for women to achieve ground level because we don’t have much to lose, a small cramped pit does not a happy residence make.

But for men … well just look at the words – even Fitzy & Michael struggled with them – to be pulled DOWN /BACK to earth, aren’t they the words of “losers” – especially when they are reaching for the stars?

And yet, and yet …

No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back

Have you ever had a cat jump off your lap.  Damn, it can hurt.  They push into you so hard – by digging their legs down deep they can

coil-spring a phenomenal distance in the direction of their choice.

You see if you don’t have your feet on the ground,
you really have
no power at all.

And that’s why the humble will inherit the earth – because their feet never left it.

The first chakra … known as the root chakra … is the closest Chakra to the ground … and controls our sense of stability and security in this life. It is where we get our footing, stand our ground and find our strength

~  ~  ~

Text in this colour from Creating ~ Robert Fritz
Text in this colour from The Birth of Pleasure ~ Carol Gilligan
Text in this colour from The Natural Superiority of Women ~ Ashley Montagu
Text in this colour from Connecting with the Earth ~ Robert Strauch – Link (well worth a read)

February 26, 2012. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

reconnecting the sexes – undoing the man-woman fight continuum – podcast

The “women’s show”
(re-humanising women, reigniting conversation) …

… has changed a lot of things for me & for many others.

I always understood that it could not be really powerful unless it reached man as well as woman – what good is healing one gender …

… when you leave the other bleeding & wounded in the dust.


Or click & listen to our podcast below:

The story behind this podcast:

My friend Michael was inspired enough by the energy & fearlessness he experienced in our original conversations to embark on a journey he had given up on as impossible.

One of the requirements for movement was honesty about …

… where he actually was.

I love the work of Robert Fritz – a man who values creating, the same way the greater-than-any-adult, child does.  In order to create anything … let’s say for instance a life, your life, you have to create ‘structural tension‘ – in order to create structural tension you must have what is akin to two map coordinates:

Coordinate 1:  Where do you want to go/what do you want to create?
Coordinate 2: WHERE ARE YOU NOW? … clearly & honestly, you must know this.

Coordinate #2 sounds so bloody obvious
that you will want to instantly overlook it
& yet
that we all do …

.. a Humpty Dumpty.

How do you get to where you want to go when you are not starting from where you really are?

Through a process of curious, but non-judgemental conversation, Michael began looking at where he really was, from the male perspective.  What he found was eye-opening & for all involved explains so much.

Yet this conversation would have had no clout had not Fitzy joined this conversation & added his own unique perspective.  Two men willing to look at & explore maleness from a different perspective – open honesty.

I am heartily impressed by their courage – they came to this talk with a publish & be damned attitude, because they needed to map out where they were so that they can head off now…

… in a direction they desire, but have never experienced.

Katherine thanks so much my friend, for your courage in being there –

… I know it would have been so much easier just to have kept our talks to ourselves.

Our aim is to reclaim the way-too-long lost friendship of the sexes & the magnificence of humanity when clothed wondrously in each gender.

Many thanks to my fellow conversationalists:  Katherine, Michael & Fitzy

Additional:  I was very interested to find that Fitzy, probably like all of us, has struggled single-handedly to understand the divide of male-female in an article he wrote last year – like many of us he made inroads – but it’s really looking like the only way to piece this together & heal is by mutual cooperation & honesty.

February 12, 2012. Uncategorized. 20 comments.

Coming soon … a reconnection

Is it even remotely possible
that men & women,
who have
too long,
met on

the …

… battlefield,

may actually have a simple way
the combat zone

into …

 a playground?

i also believe
what is true for children
is true for adults.

play time
time to enjoy
time to unwind
time to run, breathe and laugh
should be part of every day.

my friends are the
playground rules!

In a couple of days two women & two men are going to begin a conversation based on an impossibilty:

the befriending of the sexes.

We’re going to see if we can diffuse the cruel minefield, that has kept blowing us apart for eons.

I’m pretty sure that without the friendship of the sexes, we are going nowhere.

Stay tuned & I’ll link to our podcast as soon as it is available.

February 10, 2012. Uncategorized. 3 comments.