reconnecting the sexes – undoing the man-woman fight continuum – podcast

The “women’s show”
(re-humanising women, reigniting conversation) …

… has changed a lot of things for me & for many others.

I always understood that it could not be really powerful unless it reached man as well as woman – what good is healing one gender …

… when you leave the other bleeding & wounded in the dust.


Or click & listen to our podcast below:

The story behind this podcast:

My friend Michael was inspired enough by the energy & fearlessness he experienced in our original conversations to embark on a journey he had given up on as impossible.

One of the requirements for movement was honesty about …

… where he actually was.

I love the work of Robert Fritz – a man who values creating, the same way the greater-than-any-adult, child does.  In order to create anything … let’s say for instance a life, your life, you have to create ‘structural tension‘ – in order to create structural tension you must have what is akin to two map coordinates:

Coordinate 1:  Where do you want to go/what do you want to create?
Coordinate 2: WHERE ARE YOU NOW? … clearly & honestly, you must know this.

Coordinate #2 sounds so bloody obvious
that you will want to instantly overlook it
& yet
that we all do …

.. a Humpty Dumpty.

How do you get to where you want to go when you are not starting from where you really are?

Through a process of curious, but non-judgemental conversation, Michael began looking at where he really was, from the male perspective.  What he found was eye-opening & for all involved explains so much.

Yet this conversation would have had no clout had not Fitzy joined this conversation & added his own unique perspective.  Two men willing to look at & explore maleness from a different perspective – open honesty.

I am heartily impressed by their courage – they came to this talk with a publish & be damned attitude, because they needed to map out where they were so that they can head off now…

… in a direction they desire, but have never experienced.

Katherine thanks so much my friend, for your courage in being there –

… I know it would have been so much easier just to have kept our talks to ourselves.

Our aim is to reclaim the way-too-long lost friendship of the sexes & the magnificence of humanity when clothed wondrously in each gender.

Many thanks to my fellow conversationalists:  Katherine, Michael & Fitzy

Additional:  I was very interested to find that Fitzy, probably like all of us, has struggled single-handedly to understand the divide of male-female in an article he wrote last year – like many of us he made inroads – but it’s really looking like the only way to piece this together & heal is by mutual cooperation & honesty.

February 12, 2012. Uncategorized.


  1. paulo replied:

    I only began to hear the first bit, amazing sunrise “meal” !!!!

  2. paulo replied:

    This “made my day” !!!! Great Stuff “Wild Bunch” :P Dont Stop here!!!!!

  3. paulo replied:

    “Thats it!!!! You get it!!!!” – amazing amazing amazing …

  4. Anna replied:

    Awsome podcast! thankyou Alex, Katherine, Michael and Fitzy :)

  5. Michael replied:

    Very proud to be a part of this. We should do it again sometime. ;)

  6. recoveringmetalhead replied:

    Just finished listening and as with the women’s show I am at somewhat of a loss to descibe just how important efforts of this kind are to me but I shall attempt to not sound like an idiot:
    Michael’s desciption of what it is like to deal with the reality of not being an aggressive overbearing “alpha male” was extremely important to me and I am very appreciative. In recent years of my life I have struggled and achieved a small amount of success in this area but to hear another male descibe it so honestly and with such intelligence and dignity is indescribably valuable. Much appreciation to the two fine Men and the two wonderful Women. Thank you.
    Interestingly I recently got stuck working with one of the most extreme examples in my experience of a male who needs to constantly convince those around him of his mythical magical fight for godhood. This individual is a supervisor and I nearly quit last week (which I cannnot afford to do presently) because I did not think I could listen any longer. I must go work again in the morning with the man, the myth, the legend, the deity. Thanks to the four of you it will be a bit easier to hear him refer to himself in the third person (“Darrell likes a clean jobsite”) and hopefully keep my job for another week. Thank you again.
    So much of what was talked about I could feel but could not put voice to. This helps me understand that I must continue to seek out those whom I can have real conversations with in order to give voice to such feelings concepts and ideas. Thank you again again.
    Another very real difficulty for me is working all day everyday with fifteen other guys and constantly listening them talk and talk about women in preposterously disrespectful ways. I have rarely in my life engaged in such nonsense and since I made a conscious decision to never do it again, it seems that I am cut out of most casual conversations between men. Your efforts in these types of recordings help me to keep such rubbish in a proper context and also help me to belive in something better for all of us. The lads and the lasses alike. Thank you again again again.

  7. Atlantean times replied:

    Hi Alex.

    i have some observations on this man woman divide thingy…

    Recently i saw adds for a programme on discovery channel for a programme about women truckers. Tbh i was stunned by the gross sexism presented in the add and concerned enough to ask others around me what they thought of this blatant tvism were women are portrayed doing “mans work”. Now i dont care how many women truckers there are on this planet just like i dont care how many women bishops and priests there are in england {a debate has poped up recently over this}

    more women clergy just means more clergy i dont listen to in the immortal works of bill hicks…on this subject have you ever noticed that women comedians are terrible and i mean this in a non sexist way..they just arent funny men dont laugh at their jokes and most women dont either..i know i said i mean it in a non sexist way but its impossible to express that opinion without looking like a woman hater..but seriously link me a funny female comedian..i will be honest if she makes me laugh ill admit sexism..she wont though..she will talk about periods or womens bodily functions or how men are all dicks..male comedians may do some slag off women jokes but all female comedians do man hating jokes…

    anyway back to the truckers.. A whole series has been made about 5..thats it i repeat 5 women truckers in the uk. It gloats over how wonderfull they are and well it makes me sick. heres the thing women dont want to be truckers just like most women dont want to build..which incidentally is mans only form of creation in a tangible sense.

    Heres whats annoying…i asked some women about this, all agreed they thought that trucking would be a horrible job and the plain fact is that men like to drive trucks and machines..women basically take them or leave them and the dont LOVE love their vehicles and often express love for these objects.

    The hard facts are that men drive trucks because we want to..99% of all truckers are men but watching this show you could easily think that somehow miracously trucking was now a career choice that women want.

    Now nothing has ever prevented women from driving trucks..women drive buses, trains and every form of vehice men drive apart from space shuttles and formula 1 cars. So why isnt the numbers 50/50 of men women drivers of these vehicles..single women dont want to..they have no desire to spend hours a day cooked up in a cab or cockpit.

    So on having a discussion over this it turned to other subjects. i asked the women present how they felt women were portrayed in adds these days…the overwhelming response was that they felt women that were portrayed as stupid but that they felt men were portrayed as being even more stupid..

    Isnt this a neat trick..Adds these days deliberatly portray people as dumb. So do the programmes on tv. In almost all tv programmes we are all portrayed as being thickoos..with barely 2 brain cells to rub together and what brain power we do have is manipulated every 10 mins during the programme with 5 mins of adds which portray us as even stupidier..

    anyway thats my 2 cents i love women but frankly hating them is easier..because it would seem they dont like least their comedians dont..

    as an example of female comedians i would present the show QI..

    have a look on you tube its a panel show and often has JO Brand as a female comedian guest..i have to be honest i despise this woman..every second joke is about how her husbands a slob when shes a fat cow who lets be honest is one of the ugliest women alive..In contrast to JB there is Sandy Togsvig how can be hilarious at times..she never makes man hating jokes at least not so i noticed..

    if you watch a few of these shows you could note the sexist jokes made by male comedians on one hand..on the other hand you would have a truck load of male abuse from jo brand..and she wonders why people dont like her..well jo you are a fat ugly man hating piglet thats why..oh and you arent funny…she even wnt to the trouble of performing a task to demonstrate this on her only show..!ive never seen starwars”

    She challenges stephen fry the host of Qi and a consumate fag to make some flat pack furniture..he fails miserably..she beats his time…

    this was the sadest tv sexist stunt ive ever seen..sorry jo but im an actuall carpenter and id have beaten you by about an takes me about 15 mins to asssemble a piece of flat pack..anyway..

    Qi the show in question is presented by Stephen Fry..a massively open gay..the sheer nr of gay jokes from this man is well pathetic..any man who defines his whole life by his sexuality and never stops refering to it is well pathetic..

    This basically leads on to my last would seem to me that being a straight man theses days is a stigma. If you arent gay lesbian or a man hating women when it comes to the tv you will be portrayed as a freak.

  8. Brothers, Sisters, Gathered Friends – Great Minds of Today replied:

    […] Friday, Alex, Katherine, Michael and myself recorded a podcast, with the intention of reuniting the […]

  9. alex robinson replied:

    Triple thanks Paulo, we all appreciated your comments, did us the world of good when we did not know how we would be received :]

    Gracias Anna – always a pleasure to see you here, hugs.

    It was great Michael, you were great :]

    Wow Dave thanks for that – was so heartening to read, for all of us. It took a great deal of real courage for Michael & Fitzy to speak & so very good for them to know it reached home – this also helps others see that this is no mere isolated phenomenon.

    I am sorry to hear that you have to work with such idiocy, it never fails to amaze me how much destruction one person can do in this society because we are brought up to protect & make excuses for our attackers/detractors/parasites – this goes against everything that life is about.

    We are planning to keep up with the rubbish removal as time permits :]

    very best to you

    Hi Gavin
    How are you?
    I hear what you’re saying – the scary thing to see is how easily this crap is driven by the media, & driven hard.

    I have to seriously wonder what is so frightening to them about the befriending of the sexes that they must resort to 24/7 mind fuckery. It’s worrying to see how plausible, even natural they make this hatred seem – what is being done is sick & demented & maybe be the greatest sin ever perpetrated against nature.

    I must admit I don’t watch tv except for an occasional dvd & feel a whole lot cleaner in the process

    Hope things are very well with you

  10. Biggi replied:

    Thank you for the interesting article and the podcast.
    Lots of respect and thanks to you Alex, Fitzy, Katherine and Michael for the very revealing show.

    • alex robinson replied:

      Hello Biggi, always lovely to hear from you, thanks all round for your feedback & your encouragement :] Hugs

  11. Matt replied:

    I went to a Catholic school when I was a kid. In grammar school, they made sure to separate the girls and boys at recess and in high school…well…two separate schools. This is a very old program indeed.

  12. alex robinson replied:

    Yes I think it must be Matt – who knows just how long this has been going on – I for one can find no place in history where its hand has not been felt & shudder to think what worlds we been denied because of this.

  13. motherbarbarian replied:

    Hi Alex. It was a pleasure to speak with you last week-end. I wanted to add what I couldn’t get out during the conversation. As a catholic who has just recently abandoned the structured constraints which the church imposes over every aspect of one’s life, I find I am in a position of having to relearn everything I once thought I knew. Therefore, I really don’t know where HERE is for me. That is why I have one overriding obligation right now – to find out when, where, how, and by whom Truth was derailed. I need to go back to understand where I am now, so I can get to be where I want to be. Our conversation was the last bit of impetus I needed to start my own blog. I’m sure the world doesn’t have need of another blogger, but I have the need to share my journey, if only with the universe at large. So thanks for all the inspiration you and your blog have provided. Mother

    • alex robinson replied:

      That’s great mother – Gavin made a very valid point in explaining how writing can help clarify your thoughts.

      Best wishes in all your creative jaunts!

      • motherbarbarian replied:

        Thanks for the feedback and checking out my blog. After an initial burst of bravado, followed by an attack of stagefright (I am somewhat of a shy person), I am getting a better feel of what I want to do. I still really don’t have the time to blog, but I feel good things resulting from the exercise. I feel like a seedling lying at the feet of giant red cedars, but it is enjoyable. Mother

  14. capax replied:

    howdy Alex & friends…from a place where, snow shovelling done, on a Sat. afternoon with some quiet time on my hands, i got to sit and listen to your podcast.

    What a wonderful way to spend the time! So many salient points brought up i couldn’t begin to individually comment, but i do want to express my amazement at the fact that i am so amazed by the civility of this four hour long exchange…which may be viewed as “sad”…that i’m amazed at a “real” , mutually inclusive attempt at understanding how we’ve all been programmed to be mutually exclusive…but i’m not “sad”, because all of you had to be willing to not only test your limits of personal “deprogramming”, but had to trust in the trust others had in their same “progress” as well.

    Which made me test my trust in your trust, long enough to sit through the discussion and attempt to understand, as well.

    I’m glad there’s now a good label…the jahovian virus…and understanding some of it’s “lacking”, greedy, hateful, sadistic “mentality”/ways. It is a cult of death, and it’s misery wants all of our…company.

    On that note, i do want to thank you for exposing the root, imo, of so much of what’s called “domestic violence”. Physical manifestation on the grass root level of the misery this cult thrives off of. & then the next gen. absorbs this with their bottles…’specially if the combatants also fall for the programming that angry sex is “better”, or “make up sex” is where it’s at. Both seem to be very old and common ideas that i’ve always thought of as pretty cheesy…

    Anyway…just want to thank you all for your bravery, and know there are friends out here on this big blue marble, happier for it!

  15. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks capax, I wonder if there is a market for ‘after-snow-shovelling’ shows? :]

    We have learned that there is a mighty art to conversation – no two conversations are alike, great focus & commitment are required. We have also learned that we can fuck up conversations. It’s most definitely an ongoing process of learning, trial & error. In a civilisation truly centred around the ‘promotion of life’, conversation would be taught in every school – it might even be the most important topic. In fact any culture that denies its members this ability to connect can go fuck itself – oops did I just say that out loud? I guess I did.

    Great point about the ‘selling’ of angry & make-up sex – love that you put it into its proper perspective – pretty hard to market something that has been called out as – ‘cheesy’.

    your words were much appreciated – thanks!

  16. Andy Blum replied:

    Hi Alex!

    Loved the podcast!

    I’m reading a book called Cupid’s Poison Arrow by Marnia Robinson and I think the subject of this book might add something to demystifying what goes wrong between men and women.

    The main message of the book seems to be that after orgasm we experience a massive drop in dopamine that then fluctuates for the next two weeks before normalizing. This is what’s responsible for the all too common feeling of not wanting to be around your partner immediately after sex is finished (and we get a fortnight of moody behavior as a bonus!). Apparently this is a function of our genes to ensure that we quickly tire of each new partner and seek new, novel partners to give us the best chance for our gene’s survival.
    Add to this internet porn addiction and the media push to have a babillion orgasms and I’m not sure how many men and women have even had much of a chance to interact with the opposite sex with a clear mind and an open heart.

    All the best Alex,


    • alex robinson replied:

      Many thanks Andy, glad you enjoyed, I passed this on to all involved.

      I have wondered if sex is really the right factor to build a relationship around & your info adds fuel to that.

      I wonder more & more if sex should either be kept apart from friendship or be allowed to run its allotted course & end with respect when the time is right – I actually think a lot more couples could stay happily together if they didn’t have to have sex with each other once they have ‘completed’ their physical connection – I think this may be especially important for women.

      Thanks for the new ideas, common sense esp around the subject of sex is way overdue.

      very best to you

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