Trauma Culture (Podcast)

For really serious topics
you need …

… a group discussion.

This afternoon
Sinead (from New York),
joined
Fitzy & I (in NZ),
to drag some
cupboard
lurking
skeletons

… out into the open.

We shone a torch on
the traumas of
culture,
family
&
sex.

If I say so myself, I think we did a pretty good job.

I think that we unravelled some patterns of confusion & bullshit … I wanted to hear other people’s opnions & speak my own without sounding weird” ~Sinead

Thanks also to Paulo who’s recent comments helped fuel part of the discussion.

Downloadable

Or listen to our podcast below:

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April 28, 2012. Uncategorized.

20 Comments

  1. collops replied:

    Thank you Alex and Co, I am looking forward to hearing what you all have to say. I thoroughly enjoyed your 2 previous podcasts.

    Much Love

    Kim

    from London, England

  2. Mark replied:

    Fabulous discussion Alex, thanks to the three of you for doing that. As is the case a lot of the time with your work, very synchronistic with events on a personal level – it helped a lot.

  3. recoveringmetalhead replied:

    Just finished listening and loved it. Much gratitude to Alex, Senead and Fritzy. I am sure that I speak for the other two listeners. I thought about downloading it but then noticed that the file size was 666.0 bytes or megabytes or whatever and was afraid that satan might possess my computer. ;)

  4. recoveringmetalhead replied:

    Oops, spelled a name wrong – sorry Sinead!

  5. Ferdinand replied:

    Three great people talking here. I wish there were more like this on the airwaves.

  6. Shane replied:

    While playing, I think you all stumbled across something, Alex. As a child, I wanted nothing more than to have a cult-like normal family, to fit in with other kids. I remember being told how I begged my aunt- the woman that my birth mother left me in the care of- to marry my father, after hearing from some friends how people who had children outside of marriage would go to Hell. I didn’t really understand the dynamics of the brother/sister relationship my guardians had, why they laughed about it when I said it, and that what I was proposing was incest. All I remember wanting was to feel normal, because that’s what I always experienced on television and in the classroom. As a child, you feel as though you must submit to what you see all around you.

    Later in life, I found myself taking a similar route- hoped to god that my birth parents would get back together again, and that my bossy, controlling aunt would disappear from the picture. I was always told that my birth mother loved me enough to leave me in the care of someone she thought was fit to be a mother. If she cared enough about me, then, then why wouldn’t she come back and take her rightful place in my life? Why would she leave me with this aunt that felt entitled to my love and respect and who would demand them, just because of the sacrifices she claimed to have made for me? I didn’t force my aunt to do shit. I was a baby when she took me in.

    My aunt unexpectedly met up with my birth mother while at work, one day, when I was ninteen years old. I was beyond crushed when I found out that the first question she posed wasn’t “How’s Shane?” but “Do you still make that delicious dish?” On top of that, she was married to another man and no one even knew that she had had a son. All that time, I had been holding out for her- hoping to someday have what everyone else seemed so happy to have- and all of it was dashed to smithereens within 24 hours.

    Finally, the thoughts turned to, “If I weren’t meant to have a real mother, in every sense of the word, then why couldn’t my father just man up and raise me, himself?!” and “I don’t need a destructive woman filling this role in my life!”

    Well, even after my aunt passed away, last year- all the two-faced, fairy tale, wicked, and powerful women now finally removed from my life- when I was left with just my father, not much changed. My relationships (or lack there of) were the same. I was still depressed, angry, and miserable.

    Though it always went back to the desire to have something that resembled that perfect, family unit- feeling as though that that would save me from everything- I finally realized that that was a tremendous lie. It wasn’t meant for me. Not only that, but the grass is not always greener. What you envy is just an illusion, because you’re not living it and you can’t ever know what the person you’re jealous of is really experiencing, in his or her own life.

    Thank you for allowing us into another conversation, you guys. And I’m sorry this grew into such a large response, Alex, but I’m excited by what you all made me aware of. As you say, through sharing your own experiences, you may be able to help others. :)

  7. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks so much for the vote of confidence Kim & for taking the time to comment.
    very best to you

    Wonderful to hear Mark & I know Sinead & Fitzy appreciate your comment too.
    very best to you

    Many thanks mr metalhead! Plus you spurred me on to face the dreaded atchteeemmell & figure out how to get the link working :]
    cheers m’dear

    “Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
    Bird thou never wert” :]
    cheers Kyle

  8. alex robinson replied:

    Hi Shane
    You snuck in just as I was answering the earlier comments :]

    Thanks for sharing your story, especially with the ‘gifting’ of understanding that it might help others. I could certainly relate to parts of your story – longing with every fibre of your being for a ‘normal’, ‘happy’ family – because ‘normal families were happy, I know cos’ I saw it on tv all the time.

    The sense of isolation & abandonment within sick families is excruciating. Isn’t that how a cult works – keeping everyone isolated but kowtowing to the ‘master’ who has no opposition? Sinead’s point about cults was superlative – gives such a fantastic insight into what has been for so many people & for so long, a very sick institution, airbrushed by fuckloads of tv programming into something noble & worthy.
    It seems to me that a family is a small hierarchical system where the controller (male or female) is granted almighty power simply because they had sex with someone else & nature took its course. Absolute loyalty is demanded, humanity is not a requirement.

    Fly free Shane.

  9. paulo replied:

    keep them coming alex and the rest of the trio :P

  10. Biggi replied:

    Thank you Alex, Fitzy and Sinead for the interesting, wonderful, ‘traumatic’ and cheerful podcast.

  11. transcenddesigns replied:

    Absolutely BRILLIANT conversation Alex, Sinead & Fitzy!
    Much Love to you all…!
    : )

  12. Bec77 replied:

    There’s so much I could say regarding your podcast, but for now I simply have to say ‘thank you’ (but picture me standing on a mountain top, with a megaphone, smiling a smile that doesn’t fade as soon as I think I’m alone). :)

  13. alex robinson replied:

    Roger!, Paulo :]

    Biggi,
    It was our pleasure! I had hoped there might be something in there for you.
    Hugs

    Many thanks Brad, to know that our strivings help others is better than anything heaven has to offer.

    very best to you

    Thanks Bec77, your words made me smile in return. It does my head in to wonder how the world came to be the way it is, when helping each other feels so good.

    Keep smiling.

  14. Mat replied:

    This is the best thing I’ve heard in a long time! There were so many great points that I couldn’t even begin to comment on, but I did have to comment on one point, because it stung me. It was the statement about “males on the whole not loving humanity”. Yes we males are biologically more aggressive, but to say that this results from a lack of love for humanity is, to put it mildly, unfair. In fact, I think our NATURAL (ie, not interfered with) aggression stems from a natural instinct to protect the family, tribe, etc. from harm, and is, therefore, rooted in love. I believe the seeming lack of love for humanity on the part of us men stems from the colossal mindfuck of the last several millenia that we call “civilization”, and at this point, it’s impossible to know what we’d actually be like if we’d been left well enough alone.

  15. Max replied:

    I’m definitely considering to call in during one of your shows, Alex.

    Oh, and during this week, I stumbled upon an interesting piece.
    Let’s call this random manipulation, since the arrangement of articles showed up randomly:

    (Object of interest is on the right, under “Must Reads”)

  16. Lugh replied:

    • I’ve always thought dreaming had a connection with genetic memory. If you do some comparative zoology, you can sort of see this. If you have a pet you can see how they react during their dreams.. and it is about predators or owners and instinct could be written this way even before it’s passed on to young like how it will adapt traits of it’s owners etc. It’s interesting that there were a higher esoteric aspect with the story about the mother fixing her troubles helping the child.. this could be crucial in healing. I’ve looked into this a little just now and I’ll have to keep looking into it, but one important aspect seems to be that these traits are much stronger in women and this could be integral to why Matriarchy and Preistesses were so powerful. Healing techniques involving female shamans in indigenous peoples are also common today. The Akashic Record seems to be connected with this as well.
    • Here’s the kicker: TV effects the brain in the same manner as dreams. So the trauma induced by it could be much more severe then we realize. Many people can recall dreams that are heavily influenced by TV as well, and it seems to be very common. This could also help explain why the recent wave in people exposing the true nature of media has effected people so deeply.

    Only listened to the first half so far, might be back with more.

    • alex robinson replied:

      Hi Lugh
      Very interesting points & as a rule with good ideas, it sparked more ideas, your words:
      “seems to be that these traits are much stronger in women” got me thinking again about how my feeling that my sister & I (but not my brothers) seem to have absorbed my mother’s memories – this reminded me of what my Nigerian friend has told me about his culture, that it is the female line that is the important one. I believe this is a belief in other cultures too – perhaps there is a stronger genetic memory coming thro that – tho that’s absolute guess work & we could be looking at something quite different.

      Great info on tv/dreams too. I have also been wondering about how much tv mimics our thought processes & maybe this has something to do with why it’s so hard to get out of our heads.

      very best to you

  17. shatteredbutterfly replied:

    Thank you for this talk, it was much needed. I’m glad Sinead shared her past, I couldn’t imagine going through something like that. It reminds me of a singer I like who never really mentions her past but talks about how she was wild when she was 14 and her parents sent her off to boarding school. All her songs are sad, but it’s not forced because you can tell her hurt comes from somewhere very real.

    What makes me really mad is when you identify part of the problem and show it to a person, yet they go on as if everything is fine, ignoring it. I find I tend to forget how bad some memories are because the time that has pasted. Well, in the present moment the feeling is very real that something is terribly wrong and that it needs to be fixed. But then, days pass and then years, without fixing or even looking at the problem.

    I can’t fix other people. But I know I can change myself, so that’s what encourages me. Thank you Alex, Sinead and Fitzy.

  18. alex robinson replied:

    Hi shattered butterfly
    I wanted to thank you esp as I know these words had extra importance to Sinead.
    I hear you on the struggles of both the past, & then of today, which so quickly becomes more lost & broken past. We have the desire & the courage to create anew – we just haven’t had the tools of understanding & forward movement with which to do that – maybe that’s about to change … stay tuned.

    very best to you

  19. omalone1 replied:

    Reblogged this on nomasons and commented:
    difficult post to read without the aid of the audio so download it and see if it has appeal. I liked it as it explores “victim units” (formerly known as “families.”) Can there be such a a thing as togetherness under such poignant domination?

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