pharadise lost

Light-headedness …

… is a common and often unpleasant sensation of dizziness.
Sufferers …

should try …
reducing the elevation of the head
… and avoiding bright lights

You may have noticed that we live in a world obsessed with the …


that sits atop our shoulders.

During this article we shall be entertaining a view that …

… our head/brains may share a
similar design & fate
to lighthouses &
their ‘keepers’.

A lighthouse is a… structure designed to …

emit light
… and [be] used as an

aid to navigation

Looked at square on, a lighthouse is seen to be a rounded & ‘calcified’ construction designed to maintain life.

And yet …

… many are the tales
of lighthouse-keepers
who have …

gone strangely missing or
murderously mad.

~  ~  ~

The plot so far …

In light of recent wonderings about light & dark new questions have arisen.

Why has our light-fixated culture
so idolised
the brain
that …

it has
turned it
into a

… ‘god’?

Why in the name of sanity do the inhabitants of this planet worship

… the brain?

Why has so much time & energy gone into stuffing said brain with archaic thinking systems …

& why does this take place in
extraordinarily ritualistic institutions?

How can we have advanced so far & so fast technically, while remaining mutants at living.

Is it possible that by herding humanity into their heads,
our race has been deliberately
developmentally neutered?

How what where when & why did we get derailed?

Let us play

What if Eden was/is a habitat within us, rather than without?

A place that has always been…

… literally & physically,
at our fingertips.

Eden  early 13c., “delightful place,” …Heb. edhen “pleasure, delight” but perhaps from Ugaritic base ‘dn and meaning “a place that is well-watered throughout

Hands up how many just performed a reverse one and a half somersault with three and a half twists …

… & landed squarely on your (or someone else’s), genitals?

You went too far my friend. It’s not your fault of course.

As each of us was driven out of Eden & into our minds so too were we driven into our genitals – whether via insatiable lust or massive guilt, the effect was the same …

… we never noticed that Pharadishad just been intercised.

It’s time
to journey back & down now,
to the
Centre of Earth.

Underbelly  Definition: foundation

basebedrock … deepest part, depths … groundwork, nadir … seat… substructure, support, terra firma

All the while we have been imprisoned in our heads, the centre of our earthly being has been under assault.

Our contemporary Western culture makes the belly a cause for…

… shame and embarrassment, often a target of assault. Yet cultures native to every continent have recognized the belly to be sacred, the home of the soul. African dances …

… Japanese martial arts, Chinese healing arts, and the dances of Africa, India, Polynesia, Native America, the Middle East, and Old Europe have served as body prayers…

… honoring and energizing the belly to awaken the soul-power dwelling within the body’s center.

In the Japanese language, the word hara …

… refers both to the belly and to the qualities of character that emerge as a person activates the life force concentrated in the belly. A “person of hara” is one who lives with creativity, courage, confidence, purpose, integrity, and endurance.

Belly art,”… refers to any activity that a person accomplishes …

… both perfectly and effortlessly

“A grand belly” refers to a person who is broad-minded, understanding, compassionate, and generous;

“a clean belly” refers to a person who has a clear conscience

To “determine your belly” means to clearly define your intention;

to “beat the belly drum” means to lead a contented life” Link

If the head has been made into heaven, does that make our core, hell?  Is this the ‘hell’ we have been taught to fear?

The awe-full centre that is the belly …

… with its oh so scary
female-generative overtones.

My grandmother would often watch me from the bench where she rested, sitting cross-legged … She was a proud woman in whom dwelled an invisible force.

One day she called me. I came & saw a blackboard at her side.
“Come, sit next to me, I’d like to teach you an ancient craft. Take this chalk in your hand.” She inserted it between my thumb & index finger & went on. “Now draw a dot & concentrate all your energy into this one dot. It is the beginning & the end, the navel of the world“.~ Grandmother’s Secrets – Rosina-Fawzia Al-Rawi

Navel”  …  Considered a feminine sexual center since ancient times, and still in parts of the Middle East, India, and Japan …  Words for it in most languages have a secondary sense of “center.

Let’s see what we can do to undo the engineered male-female clash.

Let’s consider for a moment that both light & the head are male-type energies & the dark & the belly are female-type energies. Remember we are exploring & seeking healing – stay playful & we may go far.

We know that male-type energies thrust upwards, so this lends weight to it being the ‘captain/keeper’ of the head & its ‘workings’.

I think all women & most honest men would agree that the male energy burns hard & fast. It cannot stay ‘up’ for a long time, it tires & burns out & must retire to replenish.

Let’s apply that understanding now to the head – or more exactly to a brain/thought-focused civilisation that has …

… lost its footing

A ‘floating’ or ‘sinking’ mind [generates] unstable ‘ki’ causing bodily and mental illness, exhaustion, or drowsiness. Paradoxically, the best way to bring the mind to rest … is to first ‘fix’ it in the hara (belly)…

the energies involved flow from the hara, yet remain focused there, a deep reservoir and centre of energy, unruffled by the flitting oscillations- of a purely brain centered awareness

hara: … an energy (ki in Japanese, chi in Chinese) center, called the field of elixir … where life energy is generated, restored and stored that can be used for health, healing, or martial arts purposes. … some suggest, that Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment (harakiri) is actually a sacrifice of a person’s vital energy source in the name of honor.  … This area is also the center of gravity of the body and is seen as the source of the body’s greatest strength

Due to the conflict nature of our thinking system, if it now appears that the belly might be ‘stronger’ than the head, great effort must go into disputing that, or alternatively capitulating & declaring it the new leader.

It’s so fucking sad isn’t it?

We would prefer to amputate one arm so that the other could be the leader rather than allow each

… to soothe & serve the other.

Please understand I am painting an extremely simple canvas here – I’m interested in suggesting a very w-i-d-e idea rather than t-crossing & i-dotting. Most often it is one-sentenced utterances or a fleeting experiences that create path changes.

So we’ll keep playing.

I want to suggest that we (men & women alike) have been frightened out of the wits of our gut/belly. I think it has everything to do with the engineered fear of emotion.

Which came first – the fear of emotion or the glorifying of the mind? Maybe it doesn’t matter, but I don’t think we could ever have had one without the other.

When our emotions come, they come from the belly.

gut (n.)    O.E. … The notion of the intestines as a seat of emotions is ancient … and probably explains expressions such as gut reaction (1963), gut feeling (by 1970)

This society we are attemting to live in, despises emotion. We are existing in neospanishly-inquisitioning times & the current heretical abomination = human emotion.

When allowed to do their job, I believe emotions make extraordinary digesting juices – breaking down life experiences, extracting the goodness & excreting that which we do not need. If we could learn to work with them we would not need to fear trauma – for no experience could withstand their digestive powers.

Functionally, the human abdomen is where most of the alimentary tract is placed and so most of the absorption and digestion of food occurs here

The gut is our ‘cauldron of darkness’ …

… where cooking & digesting of life occurs.

I am quite sure now that the shocking amount of mental illness in this world results mainly from forcing the head to take on a job that it cannot handle – we could liken it to attempting to make a male ejaculate/orgasm a hundred times a day, every day.

We have drained ourselves dry & cut ourselves off from Eden / pharadise…

Eden  early 13c., “delightful place,” …Heb. edhen “pleasure, delight” but perhaps from Ugaritic base ‘dn and meaning “a place that is well-watered throughout“.

The sensation of going to the hara is one of falling into a warm and friendly space which is somehow associated with the belly … The secret of going to the hara center is to let go of the thinking center of the brain and just fall into it

Yesterday my mother finally left hospital & was placed in a Rest Home/Hospital – it is horrifying to see the number of not-that-old people in various stages of mental decay – weren’t our elders supposed to gain in wisdom? What the fuck has happened?

It is very hard to be on the inside of the brain looking out with these ideas – I am as brain-centered as the next person. But we have to start from where we are & dare to look as clearly & inquiringly as is currently possible.

I acknowledge that emotions affect us drastically. No one has taught us how to befriend, harness or cultivate them & so they have become like wild animals terrorising our insides. Understanding how they work may help us overcome our unnecessary fear of them:

both emotions & thoughts flow in & out – they are two of our seas

Of course we all know that emotions affect people’s thinking. But it is much more fundamental than that. It is not a matter of a person choosing the thoughts that fit his or her emotion of the moment. It may be that in that emotional state a thinker is simply incapable of having certain types of thoughts. It is not a matter of choice. That thinker would be just as incapable of having those thoughts as a person who had never been to New York would be incapable of recollecting his New York experiences. The chemically (emotionally) different brain may temporarily be a different brain” ~Edward de Bono

Amazing to think we might have a veritable living-wardrobe of brains which we constantly change into & discard.

Edward de Bono has also pointed out how our brains work as pattern-forming structures. The patterns created have very much to do with repetition & emotion.

We must learn to re-inhabit our emotions so that we can design new ways forward if we desire life …

… as opposed to the jehova brain that now overlords us.

Returning to our bellies may be one of the most important journeys we ever undertake.

I had a little wicked smile the other day when contemplating the thought that the desire to ‘shove someone’s head up their ass‘ might actually be an act of great humanity – helping to bring the head closer to its true centre.

When you come right down to it all you have is yourself. The sun is a thousand rays in your belly. All the rest is nothing.~Pablo Picasso

Here’s a thought to try on for size:

It’s the ‘dark’ of truth not the light that we need.

Forcing truth into the light to be ‘seen’ & ‘proved’, has turned it into visual titillation. Truth must be ‘felt‘ – it belongs in the belly where it can be embraced, digested & embodied – turned into flesh & bone. When you know something you know it at gut level, not eye level.

What seems like a very long time ago now, I played with the idea that South America is the liver of the world. I also suggested that America was …

… its stomach.

I still think that’s a damn good idea. And so very fitting.

Like or hate America & American’s (I’m very fond of them), they have for a long time been the centre of our world

The belly is the commanding part of the body”  Homer

Perhaps more than any other nation in the world, we need America to get out of its head & back into its belly.

‘Stomach qi is the foundation of the human body. When there is stomach qi, there is life. When there is no stomach qi death will follow.” Preserving stomach qi is therefore considered an important principle of treatment

Swollen in head, weak in legs, sharp in tongue but empty in belly~Mao Tse-Tung

The reason for huge rates of obesity in America may be to do with this imbalance – a quasi recognition of having taken the wrong path combined with a very concerted effort to keep the people from returning to pharadise:

Overeating and consuming cold drinks tends to make hara awareness more difficult

Wanna see something interesting before we close?

When you go looking for the all-time-uber-super-duper-famous American movie you usually end up in 1939

The Top 40 All-Time Most Popular Movies in America (US Box Office)
1. Gone with the Wind

A jury consisting of 1,500 film artists, critics, and historians selected “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” spoken by Clark Gable in the Civil War epic Gone with the Wind as the most memorable American movie quotation of all time

Why was it so famous?

Would a heroine by any other name
have been quite so

Hara is the seat of Life, the centre of intrinsic energy … All body movement originate from here. The strength or weakness of this area is the mirror of the body’s health

Just how much was this movie instrumental in creating America as the foundation of the light-focused head-heavy world? Using belly power to drive a nation & the world into their heads.

Now look here:

In Chinese, belly center is named tan tien, meaning Cinnabar Field. Tan, cinnabar, is the bright red ore that the ancient Chinese alchemists used as the source material in their attempts to produce the elixir of eternal life. Tien denotes a field cultivated to produce food. Taken together, tan tien names the belly as a field to be cultivated for nourishment essential to the sustenance of life

Scarlett vows she will do anything for the survival of her family and herself, exclaiming …

As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!”.

Of interest:

During early drafts of the original novel, Mitchell referred to her heroine as “Pansy“, and did not decide on the name “Scarlett” until just before the novel went to print

& curiouser:

pansy (n.)   … from fem. pp. of penser “to think.

It wasn’t just the movie that became immortal. So too did its author 10 years later. On an extra special mission from the gods, a speeding Grim Reaper (Hugh GRAVITT) ran down Margaret Mitchell on Peachtree Street, Atlanta. The sacred tree of immortality is a peach tree.

As to Vivien Leigh, the actress who played Scarlett:

Throughout her possession by that uncannily evil monster, manic depression, with its deadly ever-tightening spirals, she retained her own individual canniness – an ability to disguise her true mental condition from almost all except me, for whom she could hardly be expected to take the trouble.~ Laurence Olivier – Leigh’s husband)

September 6, 2012. Uncategorized.


  1. reba replied:

    Thank you, that was a beautiful read! I agree with you about the importance of both the belly and the dark. Inner strength, patience, determination, will, life-changing realizations…. all come from the belly… and in the belly is where the bottomless pit/void/darkness serves up unimaginable strength (or calm or resolve, etc) – when we need it the most. All hail the BELLY !!! ;)


  2. Mick replied:

    Wonderfully incisive article. My daughter is called Eden, and her mother has always said she has ‘fire in her belly’. She is a fire child, born with the first rays of the rising sun on June 21st. She was birthed at home as the dawn light streamed into the bedroom. No pain, no sound, just calm, peaceful joy.

    Many thanks, Mick.


  3. ruinur. replied:

    Dark stuff…


  4. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Really enjoyed this one Alex!

    Did not know that about the cold drinks. I have been drinking my water room temp lately, but not my Steaz drinks. Think I won’t refrigerate them anymore!

    If America is indeed the stomach of the Earth, its no wonder she had indigestion as of late! Obesity is such a “business” in America and of course as you know and are aware, one cannot be their true self nor show emotion in the “Business” or fake world as I call it, or at least its “frowned upon”.

    Wonderful syncro-mystic journey! Thanks for all your healing works.


    P.S. Glad your still fond of Americans! :-) Can’t wait to see New Zealand in person.


  5. Shabs replied:

    Wow. Instead of saying, ‘God is good,’ we should say, ‘Sync saves.’

    Just yesterday I was discussing with my new boss the fact that she had just finally seen Gone With The Wind, and I admitted to having never seen it. I think I’ve waited my whole life so that I could read this post and watch it with at least half open eyes.

    I have to thank you, Alex. You’re the net that caught me when I gave up on everything. Your words and insights have truly opened my mind and my heart to being comfortable with being a woman.

    I’m American. Californian in fact. Here in los Angeles. The belly of the beast. And all I’ve wanted to do since I got here was shake up the place, but I’ve always felt it appropriate to just ‘be cool.’ A fundamental shift occurred when I decided to do mdma by myself at a concert. I saw thundercat, jrocc, and Roy ayers. Amazing black musicians. I’m black, doesn’t make a difference really, but I live for good black music, as I’m sure you’re aware of our recent exports.

    The drug let me see that people are for a fact zombies. I was not just being some asshole punk nigga child of the truth movement when I used to call them that. It was real!!! I noticed that there are perhaps 3% of the audience who were awoke. People literally weren’t hearing the music. So stuck in their heads. So I let myself free and I let them have it. I harassed the crowd, jumping on them, kissing them, telling them I love them, screaming that they better wake up because there is no time left.

    Since then, I still see people the same way. And I’ve learned how to use my comfort with being alive as a weapon now that you’ve helped me wrap my mind around the issue.

    Sorry for the long comment, but I’ve been meaning to leave one for a while. When I was a kid, I used to battle with my mind everyday, trying to switch out images, or add something to the image with no luck. It broke my heart that I had no control of my mind. When I finally lost all control of it, and gave up, I went to the dark side, and it changed everything, almost all for the better, though I still hold myself back in many ways.

    No one can understand how hard the work is to step away from this construct and try and build a new one. It’s like the lifeboat, or ark reference you and the rebel speak of. Furiously paddling…

    You are doing amazing work. Please know that. You put your heart and personal life out there humbly and graciously and just know that it is appreciated, and it is helping. You are helping a lot. I love, er-Jove you!

    Shabrena <3 (that's a vagina, lol!)


  6. Delorus replied:

    This is a beautiful post and resonated with me so deeply. A while back i had decided to love my belly and so now and again I put my hands on it and thank it and appreciate it from inside. Now I have more knowledge of wonderful world systems to feel even deeper my gratitude to my center self.

    I had an Aunt I was responsible for in a skilled nursing home for many years. May your Mom be blessed with a wonderful caring staff too. Hugs to you as well. Homes are places you feel first and try to categorize the experience as you go along- at least that’s how it went for me. I learned a lot and had many biases shaken and stirred.


  7. alex robinson replied:

    Hello Mick
    That’s wonderful to hear – may she always live in pharadise :)

    Thanks ruinur, I do try :)

    Well come on then Michael you slack American bastard, what are you waiting for :)

    Yes so much fakery & fuckery in the business world – emotion is banned in the workplace – only machine beings need apply.

    Thanks for your thanks my friend – it’s a pleasure to do what I do but knowing that it helps makes a difference in my world!

    Hello Shabs, thanks so much for your honesty, your story & the warmth of your words – I was touched.

    You got me thinking some more about Gone with the Wind & how it came out in 1939 – the opening year for World War II & how that led to Pearl Harbour & after the war to the USA taking over of the hara of Japan – which I wrote about last year –

    Re- pearls:

    “Jesus compared the Kingdom of Heaven to a “pearl of great price” … The twelve gates of the New Jerusalem are reportedly each made of a single pearl in Revelation 21:21, that is, the Pearly Gates. “And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every gate was of one pearl

    The Qur’an often mentions that dwellers of paradise will be adorned with pearls

    “The pearl is a lunar symbol, also representing water and woman. These primary meanings are seen on a universal scale, throughout mythology. They are attributes of angelic perfection, which is only achieved by transmutation, and not freely given

    These are stimulating thoughts indeed!

    very best to you

    Many thanks Delorus,
    I am glad you have returned home to your belly & were willing to say so for others who can hear.

    The ‘home’ is a good place – I knew straight away that it would be the place for her – tho’ today I am wondering if she is really up to being away from the hospital – I feel like I am watching her dissolve & it’s just awful. The only plus is that a couple of times now in the past few weeks, I have had the experience a mother who was overjoyed to see me – it is such a crazy mindfuck to switch from the ’emotional daughter-slaughterer of a lifetime’, to an ‘old, old child’ who is so happy to see me.

    Thanks for taking the time to leave those words.


    • Delorus replied:

      I know exactly what you mean about the “old, old child” especially as for them the past slips away and only the present exists.

      I am so sorry that your relationship was difficult in the past. What you are doing now is right at the deepest level and the act of caring will bring you great healing. As your mom forgets more and more of her unhappiness and inability to perform right action in the past I will hold in my heart the image of her showing you the true love that she may not have even known was there. Even on the days when she is harsh or fearful you will always know that your right actions are a source of security to her. You will always know that in the face of pain and difficulty you did the right thing.

      Thank God for homes and the people who staff them. I could never have kept my Aunt fed and clean and safe from falls the way they did.

      Sincerely, Delorus


      • Delorus replied:

        A couple more thoughts-

        I did see people there who were caught in a loop of unhappiness and were not physically or mentally able to move to a happier reality. This is not anyone’s fault, not even theirs. The loving care they get does not even exist for them. But it exists for those who give it.

        Also the moment in the day when you have done your best and are leaving is a free and happy moment and everyone who care gives knows that it may be the best moment. No guilt there, it is the same for all.


  8. alex robinson replied:

    Hello again Delorus

    My mother is psychotic, that world is so much a part of her that it would be inhumane to take it away – it’s a matter of trying to find a midway point.

    Yes indeed it is a relief to have this help, yet as I have wondered previously with hospices, what the hell is going on here – why do we have so many ‘vegetablised old’ & terminally ill people in the world? Care is great when things get too much, but it pales into insignificance against the maintenance of health.

    So many people now accept ‘old age incapacity’ as normal, yet there are many stories of sturdy, go getting people in their 80’s & 90’s – my father is in his 80’s, drives like a rally driver & is forever out socialising. An 80-something-year-old neighbour of my friends recently dug up part of their driveway to lay paving stones. My aunt when in her 70’s used to complain about the ‘old ones’ who got in her way at the supermarket. These are the people we need to pay attention to & learn from.

    thanks again for your thoughts, very best to you


    • Delorus replied:

      I think it has to do with the double edged sword of our modern medicine that keeps people able to live on just that much too long. My Aunt was very healthy til 93 and then she had a big seizure that would have killed her had she not been found, or if there wasn’t a treatment. But she was found and she was stabilized and lived for 8 more years in assisted and skilled nursing homes. Her memory was shot, but she still took heart and cholesterol meds, and overall her body was not about to quit again. In a sense she missed her chance for the clean and easy break. But as the responsible person you are not going to say “Quit giving her those meds and let’s get this over with!” Not possible.

      When I was young people did die younger from heart attacks or strokes or even hard work. 50 year wedding anniversaries were unusual and not the standard. 60 and 70 year anniversaries were unheard of. I saw 75 year old people at the home still responsible for looking after their 100 year old parent.

      It is a strange and funny world. To live it and do your best and not go nuts is enough without trying to figure it out IMO.

      Best wishes, Delorus


  9. Kyle replied:



  10. Dennis replied:

    Saturn, Chronus, Zeus. To examine Pharidise is to injest your progeny. Our stomach is timeless yet golden. Where is the catalyst to our souls adventures? Me thinks this blog is well positioned to explore such. Dennis


  11. Johnny replied:

    Hey Alex,

    Wonderful post. I really enjoyed the ones you did last year that kinda re-prioritized the body parts. I was actually preaching for the liver reclaiming it’s center of importance within the body to my circle of friends (to their mild amusement).

    This post brings to mind a curious thought I had. The classic eye atop the pyramid did not represent an all seeing eye keeping its big brother watch over us but rather represents the concept of putting the sense of sight above all other senses. The isolation of sight leading us down a path to enslavement. Much the way the shock and awe of seeing 3 gleaming white pyramids towering above in the desert must have mesmerized a few back in the pharaonic age.


  12. alex robinson replied:

    Hi Delorus
    I have had reason to wonder about this prolonging of life of late. Just where & when does ‘quality’ of life count. The state of some of the people in the Rest Home is quite shocking & it’s quite possible that without meds they would have done their coil shuffling quite some time ago.
    But then I got to thinking about what ‘cash cows ‘these zombie elders are to the pharmaceutical companies & to Rest Home for that matter – the money spent on them is phenomenal esp when compared to the quality of life they have – which is often barely negligible.

    You sparked an interesting line of thought & not about euthanasia – it’s more of a wondering about the reasons behind why elderly people are being kept in this world when they have gone beyond their bodies ability to cope with it.

    best to you

    Kyle, blessed are those who can see backwards for theirs is the kingdom of neveah neveah land :)

    Thank you Dennis, & you gave me some more food for thought.
    best to you

    Thanks Johnny
    Let us all join in praise of the wondrous liver!

    I heartily concur with your thoughts re the eye – shock & awe indeed – I’d meant to say something along those lines in my article – but life’s been crazy & it slipped my mind. We are bound by the eye now in a way it cannot cope with – there is a man here in NZ who teaches eye awareness & it is his belief that sight is the secondary purpose of the eye – not its main role – ” the primary function of our visual system is the coordination of our mental, emotional & physical states” – from an article I wrote in 2009 –

    very best to you


  13. Max replied:

    “avoiding bright lights”

    …Like those from the screen, on which I am currently reading your article?

    Say what you want about our creators of mainstream media. At least they add bits of honesty in their creations (Watch from 3:00 to 3:20):

    Disturbing, indeed.

    Totally zombified,

    burn half of your life

    in the screen’s flashing light.


  14. alex robinson replied:

    Hello Max, maybe these games turn you to the ‘light side’.

    Perhaps zombies are simply those who have gone too heavily to either side and lost their balance.

    I wish you lots of life my friend


  15. Max replied:

    There is a passage in the novel Lost World, the sequel of Jurassic Park, in which the main characters are threatened by dinosaurs and lock themselves in a building. As far as I can remember they first try to lock the building’s doors by a computer terminal. But after failed attempts, they follow the computer terminal cables which lead into a hidden tunnel through which they escape.
    Seems, like not letting themselves distract by the light but instead escaping through the dark saves their lives.

    But beware! Even a dark tunnel can be a dead end:

    Thanks for the extra lives, Alex! I hope, I got ten thousand! ;-)


    • alex robinson replied:

      Very interesting thanks Max & yes it is not about one or the other but how we create our own balance so we can use them both. I’ve focused on the dark to help us bring it back into the game we are playing, not to make it the one & only.

      Ask & you shall receive – 10,000 it is- now just have to make sure the rest of us come with you so you don’t get lonely :)


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