future imperative – part II

Hands up …

all who had a go at relocating
their mornings,
to evening.

To those who wanted to, but became inertiated, stay tuned for the unluminating article getting set to follow this series.

For the upstarts evestarts let me pose a few questions:

Who found that their day felt fuller, rounder & more their ‘own’?

Who noticed a feeling of connection that came from waking to a day at whose birth …

they had been present?

Who made an effort to learn or begin something new before they went to bed knowing that while sleeping their mind was building upon it?

Who stuck with downlow-ding programmes, moovies, conspiracy fear or internet porn?

Tsk tsk.

Never mind I think we are still making headway bellyway.

Lets continue by taking the darkness to a deeper level.

Well someone’s got to.


If the most natural place to begin the new day is at sundown, where would the most natural opening for the new year be found?

yeah right …

If the birth of our days was shunted into clock-time & light worship, it stands to reasonable reason that our years have been …

… birthed in illumination too.

What if the fate controllers
used a spotlight to
entrance us

… a flashy entrance.

Let us pray ask:

If the darkness heralds new life, why
on earth
is a sun god used to usher in
each NEW year?

In most traditions …

… Yule (aka Christmas) is celebrated as the rebirth of the Great God, who is viewed as the newborn solstice sun

… time passes …

Oh god, that was close, I so nearly made a complete fool of myself.

I thought I’d stumbled upon another ‘conspiracy’ regarding the usurpation of the night by the light.

Luckily I found the TRUTH & can now bring it to light just for you, my esteemed readers.


but …

… seven days after the birth of the once & future king Jezeus,
his mother, the ever-virgin Mary,
gave birth …

… to a belated twin, called Neo.

That is why the ptb created Neo New Years Day at this time.

New Year’s Day is observed on January 1 …

the first day of the year on the modern Gregorian calendar as well as the Julian calendar used in ancient Rome.

I had stupidly leaped to a conclusion, based upon my recent understanding of dark beginnings, that something overhanded was afoot.

Those twelve glittering, fairied-light days of Christmas spanning the bridge of time between solstice & the ‘Western’ New Year had seemed so … strange – & then with the Epiphany & all …

Twelfth Night is followed by the Feast of the Epiphany on 6 January

Epiphany … “manifestation”, “striking appearance” … meaning …

… “vision of God… celebrates the revelation of …

God the Son as a human being in Jesus Christ

… well you know it all just ummm seemed so very … solar & suspicious, I do apologise for jumping to conclusions.

It’s funny though, cos there were societies that happily began their New Year in full darkness:

The Celtic year began with Samhain. Celebrated around 31 October, it was a time of deliberate misrule and contrariness … It was also a time when the veil between this world and the Otherworld was thought to be so thin that the dead could return to warm themselves at the hearths of the living

… as well as their days

To the Celts, time was circular rather than linear. This is reflected in their commencing each day, and each festival, at dusk rather than dawn … It is also reflected in their year beginning with the festival of…

Samhain on 31 October, when nature appears to be dying down

Samhain … is the most important date in the Pagan calendar as it marks …

… the death of one year and the birth of another

Samhain … is seen as a festival of darkness

The three days of Samhain were … a time out of time to honor the forces of chaos … a time to reclaim the value of the darkness

I often talk over ideas with my son. He has the ability to switch views in an instant & look from an opposing angle. He never attacks my ideas but often helps to ground them, or round them out.

He saw no reason why the beginning of the year couldn’t be anywhere. You may think the same way. After all a year is not a ‘real’ thing that you can pin down.

However as a usable structure with which to leap forward into the future, this time we more commonly know as Halloween may be very user-friendly.

We are told time is cyclical. Certainly our lives seem uber-cyclical as we endlessly:

doze & dream too long in this place

Why is it that …

the veil between this world and the afterlife is at its thinnest point of the whole year“?

Is it because this is where the join is, in our circular trajectory?

Is this the place where we are teeter on the tip of the tail of the ouroburos before …

… swallowing another cycle of same-old same-old?

I am now going to play an awful / funny / relieving / sanity inducing or cruel joke on you (depending upon your 2012 stance of view).

Try not to hate or love me too much.

You see if the year begins in the place of
deepest-darkness & thinnest-veilness
then 2012 began
on November 1st last year
& as such
the ‘big date’ of  2012 has been
& gone.

But hey it’s ok, there is still a mystery to be solved – for you can now spend the rest of your life trying to remember just what you were doing the day that world ended.

Speaking of world’s ending, let’s take a moment to contemplate death – just a moment mind you, it gets way to much of our attention at the best of times.

If we continue with our theme of returning the darkness to balance (not takeover mind you), we really have to question the 11th Commandment:

“Go to the light”
(after your candle has been snuffed out)

That programming is incessant is it not?

Funny how they chose a woman of Terminating fame to
enhance that ‘loving’ message.

If darkness is the first requirement of life, why would we go towards the light?

Perhaps I’m being too negative, I guess I’d better lighten up …

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” … was originally featured in the 1979 film Monty Python’s Life of Brian … In 2005, a survey by Music Choice showed that it was the third most popular song Britons would like played at their funerals

Funny that.

Because the lyrics seem so spot on you don’t do a double take on the last line

Life’s a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true.
You’ll see it’s all a show,
Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you”

Only now as I contemplate the light fanaticism of our world do I wonder just how telling that little drive towards the bright light is:

death’s a joke … Just remember that the last laugh is on you

Perhaps the very act of going toward the light is what keeps us recycling the ouroburos – perhaps we need to question the …

… light/LIE(t) that lies at the end of every tunnel.

The more time I spend out at night the more refreshed I feel. I can take walks in the dark & not feel tired at all.

Please understand that I am in no way out to start a war on light. The image I have is of a piece of paper that has been bent in one direction.

Before we can return it to its more natural, centred position we have to bend it back the other way first.

You know the amount of ways that light
has been pushed upon us
beggars belief.

The term Dark Ages is used to suggest a time of backwardness, filth & disease. The super-fabulous modern world had its roots in enlightenment. And it has worked religiously scientifically to bring EVERYTHING to light in the name of TRUTH (which of course is just another name for light).

In the name of truth & light we have killed, experimented & caused unbelievable suffering.

Bringing things to light is so ‘normal’ now that we accept as natural one of the most disgusting & perverted acts of our civilisation.


What is an autopsy but the re-enactment of the pre-Columbian Mesoamerican sacrifices?

What is a pathologist but the new Aztec priest
of the sun/light worshipping West?

Why was SUNday made …

‘God’s’ day
while …

MOONday became our goddess of despair?

It appears that sacrifice of night to exalt the light of day, may require appeasement:

Pardon, goddess of the night,
Those that slew thy virgin knight;
For the which, with songs of woe,
Round about her tomb they go.
Midnight, assist our moan;
Help us to sigh and groan,
Heavily, heavily …” ~ Much Ado about Nothing – Shakespeare

In Much Ado about Nothing, the feminine (named Hero – aka the virgin knight) is advised by a priest of the sun god…

… to feign death in order to ‘win back’/teach her ‘Lord’, a much needed lesson.

I wonder, did the darkness in some way go willingly from our world to show it/she had no antagonism toward the light or to try & teach it something?

That would have been all very well, had it worked. But it has not.

The light encamped out here now seems to have no self restraint at all – it wills only to stamp its truth & order on everything under its beady eye:

Annuit cœptis … is one of two mottos on the reverse side of the Great Seal of the United States … Taken from the Latin words annuo … “to nod” or “to approve“, and coeptum … “commencement, undertaking”, it is literally translated, “He approves (has approved) of the undertakings“.” wiki

Let’s play from a French angle. Well French is …

… big in the US

A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat.

co-option … is an act of absorbing or assimilating. It is normally used in the context of a group of persons assimilating a weaker or smaller group, with the intention of neutralizing a threat from the weaker group” wiki

Meanwhile back at the ranch …

The phrase Novus ordo seclorum (Latin for “New Order of the Ages“) appears on the reverse of the Great Seal of the United States

Is the oh so hyped New World Order simply a putsch to remove darkness from the world?

The Age of Enlightenment …

… was a cultural movement of intellectuals in 18th century Europe and the American colonies. Its purpose was to reform society using reason  … and advance knowledge through science

I’m running out of my time atm, so it looks like we will be having a trilogy rather than the twin-piece I thought this would be. If I had more of my time I would find the quote where Edward de Bono sees the trumped up Renaissance as an almost sad day for mankind. We have been told we are the most enlightened civilisation humanity has ever had.

We have 2000% percent more truth than ever before.

I would like to suggest that we haven’t really gone anywhere.

When our enlighteners puffed up the world by making it …

round instead of flat, & put the sun …

… at the centre of the universe, we supposedly gained the light of (scientific & measurable) truth.

What we failed to see was that while the right hand was giving us enlightenment, the right foot was stamping out the gifts of darkness. Force humanity to exalt only what can be seen with the eye while removing the significance of the darkness/night, & the world is once more flattened.

To decrease the emphasis on the visual, simply turning out the lights and practicing in the dark can change everything. Classes held during power failures have been some of our most memorable experiences. Awareness of surroundings actually improves when students must rely on alternate senses.”

Balance requires the blending of two roads to create one journey:

The roots of a tulip react by growing away from light; the stem grows towards light” – Martin Seligman.

As we quickly approach Samhain / Halloween, it might be a powerful time to re-connect with darkness in whatever way suits you.

If we are on the cusp of a new year it might be a powerful time to review the year that is passing & let go of all the baggage you really do not need or want in your future.

Anything that has been shovelled down our throats via the light is worth talking note of. One of those things is being in the present moment. The present moment is supremely important, but without a direction anchored in the future we go round in circles.

Make some big plans now, even if they are completely impossible.

A little more still to come …

October 28, 2012. Uncategorized. 15 comments.

the healing powers of humanity – a quilted podcast

This evening I talked seven times with my guest & friend, Gerardo … perhaps it was such a powerful conversation that a single sitting would have short-circuited the entire internet in NZ.

Gerardo is an artist & story-teller on an adventure in 2012.

He is also the creator of a child he hopes will help heal the world. There are many reasons why I felt deeply that a chat with him would add to your world.

Many thanks to Paulo for stitching …

… our chat back together, which due to many technical difficulties was created in pieces.


Or listen to our podcast below:

Working through his own pain, anger & confusion
led Gerardo to the
creation of …


He is also working towards making ‘Finger Day‘ an international event.

We can only start our journeys from where we are,
but after that …
there is no looking back.

October 19, 2012. Uncategorized. 7 comments.

the reclaimed day

I’ve been playing.

Here is a
visual reminder
for those interested in taking back their days,
by beginning them where
they can see them.

At sunset

The quotes beneath are a reminder of how indoctrinated against the dark we have been.

I think you are big enough now to ask a few questions …

To penetrate and dissipate these clouds of darkness, the general mind must be strengthened by education”   Thomas Jefferson

Confusion heard his voice, and wild uproar Stood ruled, stood vast infinitude confined; Till at his second bidding darkness fled, Light shone, and order from disorder sprung”   John Milton

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness”   Martin Luther King, Jr.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people”   Carl Jung

A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell”   C. S. Lewis

The America we all know has been a story of the many becoming one, uniting to preserve liberty, uniting to build the greatest economy in the world, uniting to save the world from unspeakable darkness”   Mitt Romney

Now, God be praised, that to believing souls gives light in darkness, comfort in despair”   William Shakespeare

I think we’d better finish with a little chuckle:

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it”   Terry Pratchett

I was thinking today that perhaps light has usurped the place of ‘clarity’. Clarity belongs as much to the night as it does to the day – ask any fresh water stream.

October 14, 2012. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

future imperative – part I


We’re about to get

… in the very best beast worst biblical sense.

If you are a feared for your soul click out-&-away now. (There’s a mind-widening post waiting to land after this series, so do please come back then).

For those who chose to stay let’s begin by not fucking about.

I’ve been suggesting of late
that something is up
with the putsch …

toward light
in our world.

I would now like to ask for some volunteers
in the audience …

… to hold that view in mind while
simultaneously reading
the following:

God is light, and in him is no darkness at all

… if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” 1 John 1:5-7

For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness” 1 Thessalonians 5:5

To open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light” Acts 26:18

At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining” 1 John 2:8-11

And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed” John 3:19-21

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” John 8:12

And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, a horror of great darkness fell upon him” Genesis 15:12

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” 1 Peter 2:9

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son” Colossians 1:13

A feared?

Well I guess you’d better run to the light.

It isn’t just the bible that is a fraidy-cat of the dark, so to are our literary ‘gods’:

Shakespeare, working in the 16th and 17th centuries, made a character called the “prince of darkness” (King Lear: III, iv) and gave darkness jaws with which to devour love. (A Midsummer Night’s Dream: I, i) …

… Chaucer, a 14th century Middle English writer, wrote that knights must cast away the “workes of darkness.” …

… Dante described hell as “solid darkness stain’d


In a world (apparently) birthed by a male god, light aka masculinity has been raised up & worshiped.

In the Separation of Light from Darkness, the image of God is framed by four ignudi …  young, nude males that Michelangelo painted as supporting figures

Oh fuck, say the men, she’s going to spoil a perfectly good article by going over to the feminine side.



Fear not. IF you would like to get closer to understanding what’s been stolen from you or if you enjoy a good conspiracy revelation read on.

Lest I be labelled treasonous towards the light, let me, (well wiki), put before you the awful facts of night as we been fed them:

Night is often associated with … danger and evil, because of the psychological connection of night’s all-encompassing darkness to the fear of the unknown…

… and darkness’s obstruction of a major sensory system (the sense of sight). Nighttime is naturally associated with vulnerability and danger for human physical survival …

… Criminals, animals, and other potential dangers can be concealed by darkness.

The belief in magic often includes the idea that magic and magicians are more powerful at night … mythical and folkloric creatures as vampires and werewolves are described as being more active at night.

In literature, night and the lack of light are often color-associated with blackness which is historically symbolic in many cultures for villainy

non-existence, or a lack of knowledge (with the knowledge usually symbolized by light or illumination)

You of course know all this, I mean you really, really, really know this.

ALL eyes programmed by the light

… of TV, literature & Western religion have absorbed a manufactured cancer of darkness into their bones.

Thus the time has come for me to get Eve(l) & tempt you with some succulent ideas.

the awful darkness
with me.

“… water exposed to the sun’s rays is tired and lazy and therefore curls up and sleeps …

At night however & especially in the moonlight, the water becomes fresh & lively~ Living Water: Viktor Schauberger and the Secrets of Natural Energy

Victor Schauberger (1885 – 1958) contemplated & cherished water all his life. By studying nature as opposed to dissecting, fighting or dominating it he learned how to work with it. Remember as you read that the earth & our bodies are made mostly from water:

Viktor learnt to trust his observations and intuitive awareness, as had his father and his grandfather. He learnt from them that water when in shaded mountain areas produced plants and vegetation at their richest, and that fields irrigated by water transported to them…

at night yielded greater harvests than neighbouring meadows and fields.

… one of the first anomalies he encountered was a previously opulent mountain stream had unexpectedly…

… dried up after the old stone hut which stood over its source had been dismantled, exposing the spring to the light and sun. Various explanations were considered and finally the suggestion to rebuild the stone hut was followed up and after a while …

… the spring returned. Viktor grew quite sure that water responded to the shade of the forests from which it sprang.

Viktor went on to study the present decline of the river Rhine … The mistreated …

… and degenerated river of today was once a mighty river with such …

... crystal clear water that the river could be seen at a depth of several metres. “At night when the supporting power of the water was greatest, stones carried down stream bumping and scraping each other, discharged a glowing yellow light from the river bottom that gave rise to the folktales …

… of dwarves who made wonderful jewellery in their smithies on the bottom of the Rhine” Link

Here’s another kind of shaman to whet your appetite for the night & its link to life:

The next time you go to a flowing river in the veld, ma’am,’ Mutwa instructed me, ‘go at night – not with rubber-soled shoes but with leather soles.  The nearer you draw to the river, the more you will feel this …’ he paused, ‘this thing – what you might call a “vibration“ …

… Fresh-water rivers are living ma’am.  And what is more, they contain memory – like a photograph‘  ~Mystery of the White Lions – Linda Tucker

And here’s another to start us on a journey of a lifetime:

Priority was given to the night in matriarchal consciousness. Day and light are born from night and darkness, and not the other way round. This perception has been kept in the Arabic language, in which the day begins on the previous night. If your birthday were on, say, March 15th, in the Arabic world you would begin celebrating the evening of the 14th …

… You would begin counting the day at sunset, rather than sunrise” ~ Rosina-Fawzia Al-Rawi (Grandmother’s Secrets).

You are not going to get the momentous benefits of that last statement until you live it. You may not be able to change the Western calendar, but you can easily live by a different internal clock.

But why should you even try?

Well let’s speculate on a momentous conspiracy or maybe it was just a huge stroke of bad luck for the Western race.

Massive Mind Fuckery or just a few idiots fucking about?

You decide.

Step 1:

Change the ending of the day & …

anchor it to a clock.

Midnight marks the beginning and ending of each day in civil time throughout the world. It is the dividing point between one day and another

Tell me, how do you find midnight in the pitch dark?

Thou shalt not find a new day ….

… except by the hands of a cLOCK.

But hey what was there for us to see anyway. So instead each morning we ‘wake’ knowing that it is a ‘new day’ because the light has returned.

When you begin to start your days at sundown you turn your world upside down.

Many moons ago I read that in Montserrat it is the native custom to dedicate the sunset period as a time of quiet contemplation.

When you begin to consciously end & birth your days around sunset this feels the most natural thing to do. There is a dwelling on the day closing & then as the dark comes, there is a quickening which we will come to later.

First off lets contemplate something.

Whenever you learn anything new there are two repeating phases to it.

The first is the getting to grips or ‘familiarising’ time. The second is when you go away & ‘forget’ all about what you have been taught. In that forgetting time comes embodied learning – when your apprenticeship becomes a part of your flesh. That’s why when you return to learning you have ‘magically’ improved.

Sleep is one of those forgetting times – when you are embodying your learning.

We have been told that when you sleep you are just processing the day’s events – all the living was done in the light-time followed by a wind-down before bed.


your day
STARTS as the darkness comes,
what then?

Think about it.


What if instead of winding down for the day, you are actually firing up & impregnating your future?

Think about what most people (probably including you) do now every ‘night’ of their lives.

They begin their day with …


For much of the year we return home emptied from meaningless jobs, close to sunset. Exhausted we knock a quick meal together & probably a few drinks & head for the TV.

When we go to bed at night
these …

… are the coordinates for the future
that we have set our subconscious to activate during sleep.

If, as Stevens says “The strongest cue to our physiology is light,” we’re nervous, given how many people read magazines and blogs, or watch TV and movies, on an eye-pad or laptop before bed.

These devices, after all, are rich in the blue light that is so destabilizing to the body clocklink

If the darkness that follows sunset is the portal into the new day, then the terminal illness of the Western world begins to be understood.

entertain  late 15c., “to keep up, maintain, to keep (someone) in a certain frame of mind

I’ve done a lot of night walking lately. I’ve been trying to learn about the night & find what I have been missing.

The Western culture is a fanatical light/sun-worshipping culture.

During the later periods of Roman history, sun worship gained in importance and ultimately led to what has been called a “solar monotheism.” Nearly all the gods of the period were possessed of solar qualities. The feast of Sol Invictus (Unconquered Sun) on 25 December was celebrated with great joy, and eventually this date was taken over by the Christians as Christmas, the celebrated birthday of Christ

This sun-worship culture of ours is absolutely fucking genius in its flexibility of idols. The sun of god can slip down the charts & this religion won’t miss a beat, because it has ever new suns & stars to fill the void.

I had often wondered how the Christian religion could have taken such a hold in South America but it’s so bloody obvious really –

the Christian religion is …

… soooo Meso-American at heart,
with its sacrificial

I don’t know why it’s so important for the light to usurp the dark but it’s very, very hard these days to be anywhere now without light intruding.

Daylight Saving has just kicked in NZ to make sure we eek out every last drop of light. In a conversation today a friend said she’d read that the incidence of accidents rises for three weeks after the clocks change.

For decades, astronomers have moaned that “light pollution” was wrecking their view of the universe. Now, ecologists and medical experts are wondering how this extra light affects our world and our health.

The evidence is disturbing. For example, studies have linked light at night to human cancer and obesity, while other researchers have measured significant changes in animal behavior …

Estimates say that light pollution is rising as much as 20 percent per year in some locations,

A second prediction was that breast cancer should be more common in places where nights are brighter, and that correlation has held, first in Israel, and in 2010, globally

The same correlation surfaced in prostate cancer: the rate of this male cancer was 110 percent higher in nations with the brightest night lights — typically in Europe and North America — compared to the darkest countries” Link

There’s something not right about the massive intrusion of light into the darkness. It’s almost as if it has become parasitic. Let’s return to the Western sun worshipping religion for a moment:

The birthday of the infant Jesus, being arbitrarily set by the priests, produces a serious discrepancy, as we are told he was born in a manger. The manger is found in the sign of the summer solstice, the constellation Cancer…

Among the stars of Cancer is a small grouping appearing on the back of the Crab’s shell which includes the Aselli, or Asses, along with Praesaepe (M44) the Beehive or Manger

If we take the light to be masculine & godly & the feminine to be darkness & fearful we may come to understand better the eons old programming that  demands the feminine be dominated & controlled.

If the light had simply shone extraordinarily throughout its day perhaps we would not have been in such a tragic mess. But the light went after the dark in so many cunning ways. It has done everything in its power to intrude & undermine the power of the dark.

One very interesting way that the light was thrust into the darkness was through the use of a word-spell – when solar worship was tricked into the feminine psyche.

What else is a kNight in shining armour but …

… a sol invictus thrust into the darkness.

How many women down through the ages have renounced their personal ‘power of darkness‘ for the roman-trick dream of one of these?

Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree & yet it is so very interesting to find that both  the dark-night & the feminine have been either demonised & or taken over by light / masculine forces.

I admire men & a world without them does not bear contemplating, but what we are looking at is something different. I’m struggling in the uber-bright lights to see what it is, so please bear with me as I attempt to map out what I can feel but not see.

The Celtic Rebel‘s work has pointed to a very long running ‘boy/man-loving’ ruling elite. As I have re-looked at art down the ages, I have seen much with new eyes. Why has centuries of art work been devoted to now visible

… male eroticism?

Art was used to display a world we did not have eyes to see.

Michelangelo who placed his …

… ‘Solar God creating Light with Four Playmates’
upon the Sistine ceiling also created
something rather nasty.

Night with cancer.

In 2000, James Stark, oncologist and associate professor of medicine … wrote a letter to the editor of the New England Journal of Medicine noting that Michelangelo’s Night displays signs of breast cancer

We suggest that Michelangelo carefully inspected a woman with advanced breast cancer and accurately reproduced the physical signs in stone

I’ve seen images of that statue before & never gave it a second thought. Our programming has been subtle & intensive & unyielding rather than blatant & haphazard.

The scary thing is to realise that prior to my seeing I’d been ingesting these pictured-instructions all my life. And so have you.

Our handlers appear to be intensely light-focused & male-centred. That being said I do not think they have much love for the male of the species. Convince a man or a soldier that he is vital & valuable & you may use or dispose of him at your own convenience.

You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down” ~ Zapp Brannigan

We are all ‘disposable meat’ in a game being played out by a few who know how to play us.

My desire in writing this article is to get life moving.

As a world, a culture, a species we have been falling off a one-pedalled bike for way too long. Whether it’s a right or left or dark or light pedal doesn’t really matter. What matters is that with only one pedal we are going to be going, nowhere.

The light is honoured daily (& nightly). Like the good sun son in the prodigal story, it never lost its place at the dinner table.

But the prodigal darkness was cast out. We need to befriend it again, so that we can have two-pedalled, forward momentum.

Befriending the darkness cannot be done by thinking about it or even agreeing with what I say. You have to go to it. Go into it. You have to find that it is friend, not foe.

It was maybe a few years ago that I first read this:

The man who has not traveled the wilderness alone at night has a vivid & illuminating experience awaiting him. He is amazed, so soon as he overcomes the first unnatural feeling of fear, to find out how alive he is, & how much better he can hear & smell than he ever dreamed …

… At such a time one’s whole body seems to become a delicately poised instrument for receiving sense impressions, & one’s skin especially begins to tingle & creep as it wakes from its long sleep. Nor is this ‘creeping’ of the skin strange or queer, as we must assume, but perfectly natural …

… The sensations which we now ignorantly associate with fear of the dark (a late & purely human development; the animal knows it not) are in reality the sensations of awakening life” ~How Animals Talk by William J. Long – published in 1919

It brewed inside for a long time.

I have enjoyed dark walks for quite a while now, but my streets are brightly lit.

One night, I just did it. I found the unlit entrance to the bush & started walking. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I kept going just a bit more & then a bit more, further & further away from civilisation. I had no torch & was not wearing the glasses I need to see distance.

I got to the point where I thought fuckit I’m just going to keep going till I get to the end of the track, but a little further on the feeling came to turn back, so I did.

When I reached the streets again they seemed so tame & ‘flat’. I have been once more since then as part of my night-rehabilitation. It is quite an amazing & scary feel. Truth to tell I was only a feared of the serial rapists & murders that the TV placed in my mind. There are no dangerous animals in the bush near me.

As I got braver I found myself walking through unlit parks & down to a secluded reserve with a beloved pohutukawa tree that is big enough for me to sit in.

One night a few weeks ago I made my way to this tree again in the dark. I climbed up & sat down enjoying the solitude for about five minutes. Then …

… in one long, long moment a feeling of heat crept all over my body & the very next instant I heard whispering. I felt I was being watched, but could not see the watcher.

Was I scared.

Fuck yes.

Although there were houses not far away it is a very secluded place, tucked deep down from the road.

I was overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions, I’d thought I was alone & now I hear whispering close by, but I can’t see anything – not wearing my glasses as usual. Every scary scene in every scaring tv series crept through my veins. I was horrified to feel myself ‘weak’. How useful would all my years of aikido training be if I couldn’t move from fright?

I wanted to bolt.

But what about all the work I have put into living & working with emotions this year? If I crept away it would be wasted.

So I stayed.

I stayed & let the fear come. I moved & coughed out loud to make my presence even more obvious.

Nothing happened. Maybe ten minutes went by. I relaxed, it must have been the  the wind in the trees.

Then it happened again. Exactly the same.

First there was the heat washing over my body & then a moment later, the whispering. Fuck it was unnerving.

I stayed a little longer then left. I still could see no one.

On my way home, under the now gratefully received bright street lights, I got to wondering.

Why did the heat & tingling come first?

Any time in my life when I have been afraid, there has first been a reason for it – a threat, a sound, a movement. But during that time in the dark, the sensation came first.

I kept remembering these words:

Nor is this ‘creeping’ of the skin strange or queer, as we must assume, but perfectly natural … The sensations which we now ignorantly associate with fear of the dark (a late & purely human development; the animal knows it not) are in reality the sensations of awakening life

Were my senses beginning to come back to life?

I still do not know if there were people there that night, I returned the next day & found a place where a couple of people could have been tucked away, whispering. Even so, my senses picked them up & spoke to me, BEFORE they uttered a whisper – that is heartening indeed to one who seeks more & more life.

From my own small store of new experiences, I now feel that the night is alive with life. When I walk at night I get no sense at all that the trees are ‘sleeping’ – they seem instead so alive.

Last night I stopped doing ‘daytime’ looking at houses & gardens & noticed the sky for the first time. I have always looked at the night sky as I’ve been taught – a dark place full of stars that have names I mostly do not know.

Last night I understood, that when the night comes, I & this earth return ‘home’ to the universe. I was enfolded in the sky. How often have I heard the tv tell me about how small & insignificant I should feel under the stars. What bullshit! I felt more connected to the universe than I ever remember. I felt like I belonged to something infinite.

When the sun ‘reigns’ supreme we are cut off & must live in this world alone. Its great don’t get me wrong, we can explore all sorts of wonders, but when the night comes we can return home.

because we have been made fearful of the night
we have not been home in a long lone time.

In late Egyptian mythology, Ra passes through Duat (the underworld) every night. Apep has to be defeated in the darkness hours for Ra and his solar barge to emerge in the east each morning”

“Apep …  was an evil god in Egyptian mythology, the deification of darkness and chaos, and thus opponent of light and Ma’at (order/truth)

I am a woman. I speak for women attempting to heal & to heal the breach between the sexes. Men need not fear us. When left to our own healthy devices we always seek wholeness & nurturing. We do not need the light the way that men do. We are like the water that covers the land. We will only rise up in a tsunami if driven beyond what we can handle. Otherwise we do not need the light of fame or renown or power & work best behind the scenes / seens.

Now back to the night.

Or should I say:

Come back to the night.

Try ending your day at sunset. Contemplate & learn what you are leaving behind, then step anew into the darkness of new life. Get out into the night, I think our bodies may be craving the light of night as opposed to ‘night life’.

‘Shakespeare’ sought forgiveness from the night – I wonder just how much he knew

“Pardon, goddess of the night,
Those that slew thy virgin knight;
For the which, with songs of woe,
Round about her tomb they go.
Midnight, assist our moan;
Help us to sigh and groan,
Heavily, heavily”

~   ~   ~

Additional thoughts:

The Truth Movement is all about forcing more light aka TRUTH into the world.

Our bodies come alive at night:

During the night your skin must be able to breathe … while we sleep, it steps up its activities: cells divide, metabolic wastes are eliminated – your skin regenerates

night,… is the time of regeneration, restoration and resurfacing, and the metabolic rate of skin increases and cells show a reduced breakdown of proteins. Also, blood flow is higher at night

sun / light / day = male time or male show off prowess. Females are not meant to be ‘peacocks’ –  exposed to the bright lights of day – the time for them to ‘glow’ is evening & night

Morning = ‘mourning’ – the loss of the night

Eve – evening – the first woman – she who gives the birther. But her name instead has been given to Evil

Why did pre-war Nazi’s create a cathedral of light?

The cathedral of light was a main aesthetic feature of the Nuremberg Rallies that consisted of 130 anti-aircraft searchlights, at intervals of 12 metres (forty feet), aimed skyward to create a series of vertical bars surrounding the audience. The effect was a brilliant one, both from within the design and on the outside

Ever notice how all the big movie companies ‘gloat’ with light”? Fox – Columbia – Universal, even MGM with its lion = sun

More to follow …

You know what ‘fuckit’ – the sun is going down NOW as I write, so as a gift from me to you & the night to to come I am just going ahead & posting it as it is. Early readers, please forgive any mistakes.

October 10, 2012. Uncategorized. 22 comments.


Belly greetings to all

New article on its way –
don’t get lazy or dejected now,
there’s a world of living …

gathering at our finger tips …

Surely you can feel it.

October 5, 2012. Uncategorized. 4 comments.