the forbidden fruit

Before you read this article I need to ask you to
close your mind to it.

Please bolt
all doors & windows …

bolt the door

… & do NOT let
this wolf
in.

If & only if, by the very end you feel there is something you could consider, then by all means unbolt your door, but keep the chain on because I will not be responsible for the impact of the wolf’s words.

The purpose of this article is to break a contract that goes back to the beginning of time.

breaking the contract

It is written as part-article / part-letter to myself. Those who choose to read are like the watchers in the Colosseum – if I am struck down for my sin you remain safe, if I survive you may see that you can too.

To create a future that transcends the one already ‘booked in’ for us, we have to face the biggest fear.

(If you think you ‘get it’ at the beginning of this post, you have already barred your door & will remain safely past-protected).

Those who stay so they can feel outraged
are in for a treat.

exit

Stay or go now.

~  ~  ~  ~

This image …

sinking

is an example of
‘entertainment’.

It has been ‘praised’
& talked of,
for decades.

how parents use their children

This image
&

ma parent

this one,
are (or have been)
‘reality’
for too many, for too long,
but we may not
see or speak
of it.

accessories

~  ~  ~

Dear Alex,

I know that during this week you were jolted to your core by a revelation. It hit all at once …

many roads

… though many, many roads converged
to create the impact.

The revelation was this:

“that the lack of human spiritual & emotional evolution
is eternally supported & renewed by
a LAW
we uphold as sacred –
that “parents own their children”

I know you believe you did your best to raise your son, but you realise now that you were as infected by…

sold in

… this ‘law’ as everyone else.

I know too that this revelation caused a shuddering in your bones & sickness in your stomach but don’t panic, that was just your body realigning with a truth it had never been allowed to see.

You know don’t you, that one person who is willing to see can bring about great change.

only one obstetrician had to gain access to his feelings in order for the cruelty of present-day childbirth methods …

bright lights

… to be exposed (see Frederic Leboyer, Birth Without Violence). Astonishingly enough, virtually no one had noticed this cruelty before

I know you know that we cannot see what we cannot see.

And until now you had not been able to identify what the unwritten rule that governed human stagnation was. Now you see:

All children are born into slavery
via the unwritten LAW of child ownership.

This LAW also states that slaves must
WORSHIP their owners
unto death.

This, we are told is how it is & always has been. The word LOVE was layered over the top to seal the deal.

You knew something was wrong but you couldn’t see what it was.

~  ~  ~

NOW I do see & hear.

Now I must ask questions:

Why do we live by these unspoken laws?

Where did they come from?

Why have we lived unceasingly by them for millennia?

Who benefits when we live this way?

Who suffers?

Surely there can only be ONE reason for manoeuvring a civilisation into enslaving its children (& thereby sacrificing its future) …

Because it is already enslaved to something else & the only way that that ‘something else’ can survive is to trauma-bind each generation to the last. Thus each new generation will do to its sons & daughters what was once done to them.

This is how you rule a civilisation.

This is how you possess a world.

You steal its future by binding it to its past.

Of course you must “bind it” during its most emotionally charged stage:

Childhood.

Most adults deny childhood intensity.
Yet the emotional intensity
of childhood…

misse her spock

… is logically provable.

  • Children have to learn very, very fast – they are enormously vulnerable.
  • Emotions are to learning, what light years are to travel – the fastest way to a destination.
  • Whenever a being of worship (parent) traumatises the child it ‘owns’ – recognition of trauma is prohibited, causing a massive emotional overload & therefore a massive mindfuck.
  • The child will reach physical maturity, mate & have children while repeating the unhealed laser-scars of the trauma-bind we call parenting.

The foundational myth of the Western world has been screaming this scenario at us for generations but we couldn’t hear it.

adameve

Because we can’t hear what were not allowed to hear.

In the story of Adam & Eve we are introduced to a father owner of two children. Well come on, NO father is going to start with two ‘grown ups’ – he has to gain possession of them first – so he must have created them as ‘children’.

He then placed them in a garden with a tree of delectable but untouchable goodies. This mindfuck tells us that Jehovah was an abused child who was recreating his abuse in the lives of his children.

What happened next?

The children fell for the trap. I’m guessing Jehovah’s ma abandoned him & his father went along for the ride. Why else would he have had to crush Mother Eve so completely.

Time passed & Adam & Eve had two kids. They grew up.

Then one murdered
the other.

cain & albert

Do you get it now?

Adam & Eve had downloaded their abuse into their children. Cain & Abel were re-living the trauma of their parents exile/soul murder.

The tale of Adam & Eve is the tale of original sin original child abuse. Our foundational myth is the story of our Poisonous Parenting Programme.

It is this, that is the forbidden fruit
we are banned
from knowing

To ‘get away with murder’ all you need to do is create a…

kitset

… Framework of Silence.

It’s absolutely fucking ingenious.

You do this by creating & living by, concepts i.e. the concept of the loving parent.

Concepts …

reality block

… effectively block
connection to reality.
(See Robert Fritz for his work on concepts).

The Framework of Silence is created when reality is denied access to …

framework of silence

… the listening ear.

It feels like we lose our voice, but what actually happens is that our words cannot be heard – eventually we grow dumb numb.

That is why we can be shown time & time again what is going on in our world & we do & say nothing – without ears to hear, we are struck dumb.

Because of the huge brainwashing behind the words ‘mother’, ‘father’ & ‘parent’ I shall now commit (further) heresy.

For the duration of this article the following words will be substituted:

Mabot = mother

Dadroid = father

Predator = parent.

I’ll bet that last one brought out the claws of fear.

pred·a·tor …

dina

… one that preys, destroys, or devours

One that victimizes, plunders, or destroys, especially for one’s own gain

predation (n.)    late 15c, …  from praedari “to rob, to plunder”.

Even if it means standing all alone here, I will do so.
And I will speak.

Hidden behind almost all parenting lies unrecognised ‘feeding’, …

sacrifice

… plundering & predation.

We have been made to worship a child rearing system that is backward-facing & therefore “death focused”.

You know I think children have always been aware that they are stronger than their predators. Surely it can’t be hard for them, who see so clearly.

no clothes

They know the emperor’s predators clothes do not exist. But their wonderful connection with reality is first sabotaged & then mutilated by the framework of silence, when their voice is refused & refuted.

I think I now understand where, when & how predators kill & eat their children’s spirits using this ‘framework’.

We live in a trauma based society
why would I not be talking
to you?

I was never comfortable with psychology’s declaration that children fear the loss of love of their parents because that could lead to abandonment & death.

I believe almost all children know that their parents will not leave them – why would they, they are vital to the adults survival.

I also know children can survive on very, very little (conventional) love – not thrive, but survive.

It’s bollocks to think that children live in fear of death – they have only the vaguest notion of it & anyway they feel how vital they are to their predators survival.

There is one thing however that matters to them above anything else.

children

Being real

And this is what our predators prey on. This is what their predators preyed upon in them when they were children, & so it goes back & back & back….

As children our greatest fear was to lose our “reality’ …

Play

… our realness

intent

… our sense of being real.

What we call being ‘loved’, in its deepest, truest form, is the act of being made ‘real’.

What has been stolen from children
from time immemorial is
their “reality”

Let’s put it another way.

becoming a cartoon

This is the trauma we all carry to one extent or another. It is written in the living & the dead bones that litter this earth.

In an effort to reclaim their reality, predators siphon off the realness of their children & then drive them down into the underworld of unreality that they too were driven into.

We come to life when we generate life – but the system of child-rearing raping that has been in place for generations teaches us that we can only return to life, by taking someone else’s i.e. our own(ed) children’s.

I have to question just how much the urge to have children might actually be the result of an adult’s trauma reaching critical mass & needing to be unloaded / downloaded into a new generation.

Look no further than today’s sexualisation …

look at me

… of children. So easy to blame the media, yet it seems far more likely (to me) that what we are seeing is a generation of sexually abused (now grown-up) children imprinting their stories of abuse, onto the next generation.

The child in his or helplessness awakens a feeling of power in insecure adults and in addition, in many cases their preferred sexual object

If you have the courage to look you will begin to see the ownership programme & retelling of parents traumas in pretty well every family relationship you come across.

In all cultures, “sparing the parents is our supreme law,” wrote Miller …  According to Miller, mental health professionals were also creatures of the poisonous pedagogy internalized in their own childhood

Once you start to see you can never go back. So do not take this step lightly.

All of our society is based upon the Predator Programme. You think you left home but your predators just changed form. You found them here:

  • government
  • education system
  • bosses / employers
  • doctors / experts
  • media / news / tv / movies
  • celebrities
  • touted artists, creatives, geniuses, writers
  • religions & their priests
  • judges – law or reality tv shows
  • critics

All of these people declare, or have been used to declare, your unreality in order to rebuild up their own reality.

And why should they not make use of the most successful programme in the history of mankind?

A common denominator in Miller’s writings is her explanation of why human beings prefer not to know about their own victimization during childhood: to avoid unbearable pain. She believed that the unconscious command of the individual, not to be aware how he or she was treated in childhood, led to displacement: …

DEAFness & BLINDness

the irresistible drive to repeat traumatogenic modes of parenting in the next generation of children

The fear of seeing into our personal past, is the biggest fear & the juiciest of forbidden fruit. If you have felt outrage at what I have written, I hope you might take courage & ask yourself “why”?

I betrayed that little girl […]. Only in recent years … bit by bit, could I allow myself to experience the pain and desperation, the powerlessness and justified fury of that abused child …

burned

… Only then did the dimensions of this crime against the child I once was, become clear to me

I may just been a lunatic with a grudge against my mother. So why take me seriously.

My mother never allowed herself to acknowledge the suffering she felt as a child. My father isn’t even aware that he suffered. Instead of experiencing their pain, they passed it on

If you would like proof that something is not quite right look no further than Christmas.

Every one of us has experienced the sometimes quite shocking pain, of being forced back into familial units for the end-of-year upgrade of the Predator Programme.

Why do you HAVE to go home for Christmas? Why is it so important to your parents? And why was it so important to their parents?

Could it be that we need to be re-traumatised prior to the New Year in order to keep the cycle perpetuating?

Is it a …

seeing

… ceremony of acquiescence to the trauma programme that has kept humanity at sub-human levels for eons?

Is it somehow important that we be re-reminded that we are cartoon people?

If I pretended that what happened to me did not really happen to me, I would be underscoring my belief that being loved means being hidden: I would be perpetuating my shame about growing up in my family, And I would unwittingly pass that shame on to my children and they on to theirs

By becoming sensitive to childhood suffering, I gained emotional insight into the predicament of the totally dependent child, who must repress his trauma if there is no sympathetic and supportive person he can talk to

Any life focused society would speak somewhat along these lines:

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you
You may give them your love but not your thoughts
For they have their own thoughts
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday 

Even that quote I have to question, for the children are made out to be sons & daughters of life, instead of simply ‘life’ itself.

We are existing in repeat patterns that were burned into us, usually before we had memories. What holds us there is the LAW of loyalty to the concept of parenting. That means we are forever backward-facing & so any different kind of future is denied to us.

Even if your aim is to NOT do to your children what was done to you, you are a child of a death-faced child-rearing programme.

You may think you are free. But you are most certainly bullshitting yourself.

Are you willing to see & hear what there truly is to see & hear?

Open your ears & listen to all the parents you come in contact with over the weeks ahead. Listen & look to any tv programme which features adult & child. Open your mind to every single written word in literature or the news. You will see a world obsessed with child ownership …

mine

… Its their in body language, looks, words, gestures. I have only to think of being in my fathers presence to feel the sense of ownership in every line & muscle of his body. Almost without a doubt it will be the same for you. That which you own, you possess.

It is not possible to create a new future, while bowing in subservience to the concept of child ownership. Nor can we build one without a return to feeling what we feel & to seeing & hearing reality.

Perhaps we can start by constructing a framework of hearing that opens our ears to ALL the world’s children. Then our lives will no longer be lived repeating the unheard & unacknowledged stories of childhood.

~

Today I break my contract of silence
with the poisonous child rearing laws of
ownership & trauma imprinting.

~

I’m not sure how much you will have been able to hear of this post. I am just one person trying to bring something ‘sacredly diseased’ into conscious awareness. This is a taster. If you can’t handle it, spit it out. My allegiance is to the children you once were & the children of today. Most of the adults now are unreachable because of a past they think they must deny.

burned

But maybe, just maybe the child you once were, needed to hear this.

~  ~  ~

Text in this colour from Thou Shalt Not Be Aware by Alice Miller. Her courage in speaking for the child has helped me also to speak. This article has been a blending of her strength & ideas with my own personal ideas & history – all the more potent as it looks as if my mother’s life is almost at an end.

I also acknowledge Dorothy Rowe’s ideas on the fear of the child’s fear of annihilation of the self as found in My Dearest Enemy, My Dangerous Friend – however by digging deep inside myself I felt that loss of ‘reality’, or ‘realness’ was at the heart of child abuse.

This work is a proto-truth – it is as close as I can come to the truth of this matter at this time. At any moment it could be improved upon, or broken apart to create an even more important revelation. Use it or not as you see fit.

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January 27, 2013. Uncategorized.

22 Comments

  1. endpointithaca replied:

    thanks for this post – a hugely impactful and important subject. the children have always been the key to any meaningful change in society. It is a source of great strength to read your words.

    best wishes

    james

    xo

  2. recoveringmetalhead replied:

    It has been my observation on countless occasions that there is something more going on when a child is born than “magic” and “love” and “magical miraculous loveyness”. Something happens to to the parents upon the birth of the first child. Some sort of horrible contract is chiseled in stone on that day.
    It seems as though the religious, philosophic, emotional, and intellectual, processes of the parents freeze at that moment. From that magical day forward it becomes approximately 350,000% (could be as high as 415,000%) harder to discuss any topic that requires the parent to look inwards, engage in introspection, and/or face the possibility that they may have ever been wrong about anything whatsoever. The very words “wrong” and “mistake” seem to be stricken from the vocabularies of the bringers forth of the new bundle of joy.
    This phenomenon has caused me a great amount of terror at the prospect of becoming a father.
    In recent years I have come quite a long way towards overcoming/transcending this fear but the root or basis of it has eluded me. I felt something profound while reading the above article and feel that I am much closer to figuring it out.
    On the other hand I estimate an approximate 8,437,000% chance that I think too damn much.
    Thanks for the help Alex!

  3. Susan replied:

    Wow, Alex. That was dark and painful to read, but oh so very true. Tracing it all back to Adam and Eve really drove the point home. (I’m trying to avoid being “judgemental” a la your previous article, but I love all your illustrations, especially “The Day I Became A Cartoon”. DId you draw them?)

    Makes me uncomfortable looking at how I deal with my own adult children, and how I can’t seem to get the relationship right.

    Somehow, I’m reminded of all the activities that most people drop when they grow up – like playing an instrument or dancing. In my experience, parents live tedious, overworked lives but go to an enormous effort to provide these “opportunities” for their kids – are we just living vicariously though them? And we take all the play out of them, too, with recitals and competitions.

    When my daughters were involved in these things, I remember feeling that there was something terribly wrong about it all Maybe that’s because we were taking something real and abstracting it into a concept.

    Thank you for putting this out, and for the references to the books you quote. (I have recently discovered Edward DeBono and I can’t believe I never heard of him before.) MUCH food for thought!

    Susan

    • sineadmcarthy replied:

      You’re brave Alex. This was hard to read but so true. It amazes me the lengths that children will go to to defend a parent or abuser (may be one in the same for some) I personally have blocked out a lot of my memories from childhood because they are too painful. Can’t wait to hear more discussion on what you brought up here

  4. alex robinson replied:

    james, – thank you for being the first to stand alongside this stand – everyone who is willing to consider this helps change the world.

    very best to you

    Stunning observations mr metalhead – I could really connect with what you were talking about. Crazy now to think we could be so blind & deaf to something so huge & so visible.

    remember to take short breaks from thinking :)

    very best to you

    Thank you for braving the pain Susan, it doesn’t last forever & it allows the beginning of serious change.

    If we look with eyes open we can see the exhaustion & lack of connection of ‘parents’ – they may be shuffling their kids around & appearing to be ‘good’ parents, but the eyes they look into are not those of their children.

    Yes the drawings are mine – thanks to Humanizenz & a desire to help others recover their ability to create, I started putting creations out that were less than perfect & along the way found a whole new way to communicate ideas.

    Glad you are enjoying de Bono.

    very best to you

    Thanks Sinead, it’s quite likely that we block out the memories for reasons way beyond the pain – after all we’ve carried that pain in our bodies every day since childhood. I think perhaps we fear making our parents “unreal” in the way they did to us – but still working on ideas here.

    hugs & healing to you

  5. amj replied:

    hi alex, long time. ;)
    nice to see that you’re enjoying Alice Miller now. As i mentiioned here many moons ago, i’ve read several of her works and imo, she’s the best. I’m a huge fan of hers,, well now her spirit since she not-so-long-ago passed.Alice got to the root cause of countless personal and global ills — child abuse. And she identified the 5th Commandment, to honour (love/obey) our parents, as something that should be abolished; as it’s perhaps THE primary obstacle to honesty, clarity, and eventual healing. I’m in 100% agreement with that stance. And as you might recall I trashed that and certain other commandments a longggg long time ago! Did me a world of good. Anyhow, as I said I’m a huge fan and could literally go on for days about how wonderful and loving and helpful Alice’s books were/are to me. Nice to see that you made the connections. Sweet.

    it’s really nice to also read (i’ve been a silent reader here now and then, just nothing improtant to say) that your’e experiencing so many personal revelations/epiphanies. Onward ho!

    Take care, annemarie j

    p.s. It’s true. We are, all creators. And we must/needs to create. Being passive receptors is so not good/healthy for any of us. Gotta go dance around the room right now. Sending warm thoughts your way, ciao, :)

  6. Michael Skaggs replied:

    Sounds so familiar, the repeating story of passing trauma down from generation to generation. It’s all trauma based programming and people do it without even realizing it!

    I really liked this and could relate to it is a BIG way!

    “All of our society is based upon the Predator Programme. You think you left home but your predators just changed form. You found them here:

    government
    education system
    bosses / employers
    doctors / experts
    media / news / tv / movies
    celebrities
    touted artists, creatives, geniuses, writers
    religions & their priests
    judges – law or reality tv shows
    critics

    All of these people declare, or have been used to declare, your unreality in order to rebuild up their own reality.”

    So very true!! Great work Dr. Alex! :D

  7. Kyle replied:

    Thanks for your insights Alex. It’s funny how the new calendar year can bring such revelations to our minds. If we are open and or ready to hear them. You again bring a unique topic to light. I appreciate your creativity and your bravery to put it out there. I am slowly learning how to share my mistakes and fears along with my strengths. Thanks again Alex. I hope Joy comes to you in all areas of life.

    Kyle

  8. John Bourassa replied:

    Hey Alex,

    My happiest times as a child were when I was alone. I, indeed, felt that something was being lost when I dealt with other people, school, parents, etc.. But I could never quite put my finger on what it was that was being lost. Now you’ve found it for me. What was being lost was my feeling of realness, my sense of reality.

    I studied physics in school but what I’ve come to understand is that “the world”, “the universe”, or “matter” is not reality. Reality is relationship. It is our manifold relationships with “the world” that make up reality.

    It’s a little like saying, “there is no truth, just honesty”.

    A child’s relationship to the world is open. A child seeks relationship with “the world” with innate honesty. As I dealt with people, especially with people of supposed authority, the sense of loss I was feeling must have had something to do with the closing of doors of relationship to “the world”.

    The world was being turned from magic to tedium.

    Revelatory.

    Thanks.

  9. alex robinson replied:

    Hello annemarie, I hope you are well.

    Alice Miller did great service to humanity through speaking out for the child. Yet no one’s words or ideas hold any value unless we actually use them. I had read her work over many years, but this time it felt like I was walking & working with her. I found myself coming up with all sorts of ideas that turned up in later pages and others that were not part of her work at all.

    I would say the most profound help I got from her was in the strength to speak against the tide of belief – to say what I see. I am also gloriously grateful for her art work, her willingness to speak thro’ images which helped me to unfreeze & do the same.

    I think it’s not people’s work that may be the most important element, but rather the vigour & determination with which they approach it – showing others that they will NOT be destroyed if they take the stand that is right for them.

    very best to you

    Thanks Michael, I know you are only too well aware of that – bring on your reality my friend & I will dance for joy!

    Many thanks Kyle, & yes when we are ready & put out the call, look out – especially lately it would seem :)

    much joy to you too

    John, I thank you – your words have become part of a new article & helped me see more clearly.

    very best to you.

  10. Pavman replied:

    Great Insight

    The wo-man is told to honour and obey the man. The children are to honour and obey their parents. It says nothing of honouring and setting an example for your children + others. It also states that a man’s first love must be GOD, even over your wife or children.

    It’s a never ending top down guilt based approach to achieve perfection which you can’t because your born into sin, Time.

    Until we choose to remember who and what we really are. Have to stop playing their game, project into what you would rather do, to be mind controlled could last an eternity on a time scale. I want out

  11. empoweredbyknowledge replied:

    When my son was born my mother asked me “How does it feel to have something that’s REALLY your very own? I was shocked and answered he isn’t my very own. Then she was shocked when she replied What do you mean he ISN’T your very own? I said, “I had him, he is my son but he is himself for himself.” That was in 1979 so I have understood this madness for pretty much some time. My question is this, and it’s something I heard John Lash say in one of his talks… What if originally we weren’t meant to be born in this manner, but through some sort of mitosis?

  12. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks Pavman
    God is the ‘first’ father according to western religion – it seems impossible to move away from the concept of parenting as being pivotal to our existence.

    Procreation certainly keeps the population turning over, but we have to stop endowing ‘parenting’ with ‘specialness’ – it is ‘ownership’ – even if we never made it past that understanding I think having that knowledge made conscious might alleviate much of the serious mental & emotional illness in this world.

    very best to you

    Hi empowered, your mother’s comment seems to speak for so many – I’m shocked now as I constantly encounter that ‘creepy’ sense of ownership & it really is creepy.

    I’ve not heard of John Lash or mitosis but all ideas can certainly be entertained & used for further exploration.

    very best to you

    • shatteredbutterfly replied:

      Alex, you need to get on John Lash’s material asap. He slams Jehovah like you won’t believe, haha. I’ll find a good talk for you to listen to soon :)

      • empoweredbyknowledge replied:

        I actually sent John Lash some of Alex’s work some time ago (I know him personally)

  13. persephone replied:

    thank you

  14. shabsoasis replied:

    You just knocked my block off Alex. Congrats. I have been having such issues with my family and also my own inability to let go of this NEED for my mom to love me and recognize me. I’ve made new and amazingly vibrant friends who speak of their parents in the same way. All our parents are losing it, and according to them…we are the cause. Somehow we are the cause when how? How are we the cause when out parents actually know nothing about us. Everything they think they know is what they have deduced for themselves out of the occasional 20 seconds they gave you to talk about your life that one time.
    ,
    You just ruled my world by giving me tools to share with my friends and a direction to go in dealing with my love/wanna punch in the face relationship I have with my mom. As I watch my sister live with her, and now with her own baby, as well as his father, and I see how fast this cycle of abuse has not only started but started the day my nephew was born. I argue with them that even though they just KNOW he will know he is loved and that when they call him ‘bad’ ‘demon’ or ‘evil’ that they are just joking with him and be doesn’t need to be sensitive to words anyway. And how dare I get upset when my sister calls her two day old son a jerk. I guess I don’t get it since I don’t have kids.

    I tell them he is the Lord’s child. He belongs to the Earth. And also, just know they are calling an 8month old black baby these names. In America.

    I cried (again) to my mom the other day, and said I didn’t want to lose my family, and she snarled ‘What family.’ ‘You guys. My mom, my sister my nephew-‘

    ‘What family?’

    The second repeat was what broke me. But this article is helping to heal me.

    I don’t fucking belong to her. She loves me when she can, but she also likes to remind me often that when she dies she knows I’m not going to end up with shit, and we’ll all be on the streets. I keep telling myself its not her fault, but hopefully I can read these books and figure something out.

    I know its not my job, but I can’t and won’t give up on my nephew or my sister yet. It’s not that I just love them because they’re my family. I also really LIKE them, and I know deeply that they are a part of my traveling cosmic squad. I’m gonna drop this bomb in my sisters head so she can break out of my mothers enabling spell. The spell she doesn’t know she’s in. I keep telling her…

    Love you Alex. Praise to your work and bravery. And you’re such a good fucking writer. Yes ma’am.

    • shabsoasis replied:

      Update! I talked to my mom. I broke it down as best as I could. I told her secrets about myself, and how I’ve worked to destroy myself. She listened. Eventual, I got to finally explain to her that I don’t want her just because she is my mom, but because I actually like her as a person, and I haven’t gotten to have any enjoyable time with her anymore because she was always worried or upset. I don’t know how its going to end up, but for right now I feel like I got a bit of real contact with my mom. And I feel like she knows me a bit more, which is all I wanted. Thanks again Alex. You really helped me a lot.

  15. alex robinson replied:

    Hi persephone, glad it was of help

    very best to you

    Hi shabsoasis, also very glad to have been of help to you. There is much more to come so I’ll leave it there for now & send my best wishes to you

  16. shatteredbutterfly replied:

    Real quick,

    “The greatest tragedy of the family is the unlived lives of the parents.”
    ― C.G. Jung

    • empoweredbyknowledge replied:

      So true…so true.. I could feel my parents frustrations from a very early age, and I tried hard not to pass it on to my own son, but it has been very difficult when you’re too busy working hard to provide and make of for him not having a father nearby. Many mistakes are made and repeated. Your comment is very deep.

  17. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks shatteredbutterfly,
    I wonder just how far back into history we need to take that

    very best to you

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