parentship – boarding now

Even though we never felt it,
the ‘parental pillars’


… our civilization
have been mightily wobbled:

I wanted to demonstrate that the works of writers, poets, and painters tell the encoded story of childhood traumas no longer consciously remembered in adulthood. Having made this discovery in my own painting and in the writings of Franz Kafka, I was able to test it against other life histories … I soon learned that I was dealing with forbidden knowledge, by no means easy to share with “the experts.” … Now I have a different motivation … I would like to share the knowledge I have gained with people who can face the facts” – The Untouched Key

The above quote comes from Alice Miller, a woman of ground-shattering common sense.

If the great ones of our civilisation
operated from a state of
unresolved childhood anguish
what does that tell us
the avenues
that they


followed through

While ‘art’ gave child-traumatised artists a vent of release, it did not heal them.

Because they had no access to their ‘original wounds‘, all they could do was perpetually circle their own pain.

he had to repeat the trauma countless times …


without ever feeling it, for the early lesson that his feelings were forbidden and were to be ignored retained its hold on him

Celan’s poetry is authentic, even though its highly personal dimension remained hidden from the poet himself and from most readers. If he had understood the source of his suffering, he would have found meaning in life and might have enjoyed it … It helped Celan to articulate his suffering by displacing the experience of his childhood but…


… it did not save him from suicide

Let’s shine a laser from two different angles – then see if you care to create your own hologram of history.

First up William Long – a long-ago writer & observer of …

watch & learn

… the ‘wild. Here he reminisces on his boyhoodhumanizing through nature:

From the beginning, therefore, I met all birds and animals in a child’s impersonal way; which, strangely enough, ascribes personality to every living thing, yes, & honors it. These inquisitive little rangers of the wood or berry-pasture, shy and exquisitely alert, were all individuals like myself, each one seeking the joy of life in his own happy way. My only regret was that I was too clumsy, too obtrusive, too ignorant of the ways of the wild …


… & so frightened many a timid bird or beast that I would gladly have known.

All this, too, is perfectly natural; the instinctive attitude of a child, as of an animal, is one of curiosity rather than fear or destruction. If left to his natural instincts, a child meets every living creature with a mixture of shyness & timidity & bright interest; he becomes an enemy of the wild, learning to frighten & harry & kill, not from nature but from the evil example of his elders.

Now let’s look at some famous names & their childhood ‘stories’.

I mention the severe trauma that the child Pablo Picasso underwent at the age of three: the earthquake in Malaga in 1884, the flight from the family’s apartment into a cavewitnessing the birth of his sister in the same cave under these very scary circumstances

As a little boy, he began to perfect his way of seeing, but he was not supposed to put what he saw into words

guerre nica

… the theme of the distorted human body haunted him all his life…

Of Käthe Kollwitz wiki says this:

a German painter, printmaker, and sculptor whose work offered an eloquent and often searing account of the human condition, and the tragedy of war

While Alice Miller suggests her childhood was contaminated by a mother emotionally-obsessed with a long dead child:

Her mother’s eyes grow moist when she thinks of her child who died so long ago.  Another daughter has just died, but this fact scarcely penetrates her consciousness. In the shadow of such a mother Kathe Kollwitz lived and painted her pictures of her dead child …

dead child

… which posterity would like to interpret simply as the expression of her social conscience and political commitment

of Nietzsche:

His life, his illness, and his tragic ending to say nothing of his work, …

silent scream

… have never been examined in the light of his childhood

The child-raising methods and principles … contempt for everything vital, sensual, and creative; the struggle to replace the child’s feeling of well-being with guilt feelings and  repentance; the suppression of his ability to think for himself, of his critical capacities, of his need to understand connections

youth… and his need for freedom and spontaneity. Not only obedience and submissiveness were preached to him but also the so-called love of truth, which was pure hypocrisy, for the boy who was forbidden to say anything & was also forced to lie repeatedly

The medical diagnosis of the disease that befell Nietzsche at the age of forty-five was “progressive paralysis,” and his biographers seem reassured … that this later illness “had nothing at all to do “ with the illnesses of his school days.  And the 118 attacks in one year (1879) were apparently sheer “coincidence

It is tragic that Nietzsche was unable to blame specific individuals for what he observed “in general.” For the living roots of his insights, contrary to all appearances …


… remained concealed from his conscious self. Caught in the labyrinth of his thoughts, he was incapable of locating these roots. The only permissible way out was that he lose his mind

If Alice Miller is correct then the brilliance of Nietzsche & so many others – their words & works, are inextricably coiled with the living trauma of their early years.

Because it has been absolutely forbidden to see our childhood & parents with clarity, truth has had to perverted.

What we call
is born
twisted & distorted
flesh & psyche.

Who was Nietzsche really talking of when he said:

They sacrifice the future to themselves – they sacrifice all man’s future

The danger is shockingly apparent via a brief description of …


… Franz Kafka – the man whose life & (young) death helped Alice Miller formulate her theory:

His works …  are filled with the themes and archetypes of …


… alienation, physical and psychological brutality, parent–child conflict, characters on a …


terrifying quest, and mystical transformations

His cause of death seemed to be starvation: the condition of Kafka’s throat made eating too painful for him … Kafka was editing “The Hunger Artist” on his deathbed, a story whose composition he had begun before his throat closed to the point that he could not take any nourishment” (wiki)

So shockingly sad.

Do you have what it takes to end this? I hope so.

~  ~  ~

Now hold onto our previous ideas while we turn our attention to “love“.

One day, when my son was still a child, he indignantly declared:

All the songs on the radio are about ‘love‘!

Yes but …… isn’t that the icing on the …



Being sculpted …

jack white

… into


via your

jolly bradford
‘love life’ /relationships.

History, literature, movies, the arts, fairy tales & songs have instilled & endlessly re-installed, this meme.

Yet maybe,
it’s hazardous
to our health.

After all, there is nothing on this planet that reinfantilizes people quite so fast, as “being in a relationship“.



we are a race,
childhood trauma
things could surely get
real ugly.

Society’s ignorance about the injuries inflicted on children represents a great danger for humanity

They sacrifice the future to themselves – they sacrifice all man’s future

Now we need to change direction again. Please note I’m relying on you to come up with your own thoughts by the end – what we’re doing here is widening our minds – not filling them with facts.

So we return to the excellent mind-stretching work of Matthew Delooze:

if you are ‘told’ a certain symbol means something you believe in, you will literally respect and defend the symbol and actually give that symbol unconditional spiritual love …  that energy obviously goes to the creators or original providers of that symbolism. For example If I give a woman a diamond engagement ring, as a form of symbolism of our love, then the woman will…


… love and respect the ring as much as she loved me. The woman’s energy created through respecting the ring, as true symbolism of our love, would only change if she didn’t love me any more. Her respect for the ring would disappear as soon as her respect for me disappeared, and … it would …


… lose its sentimental value immediately. She would no longer respect the symbolic ring because she no longer respected the creator and provider of the symbolic ring.

… its important you understand that energy is created and actually ‘passes through’ symbolism and that energy always goes to the …


… provider or creator of the symbolism, be it positive or negative and the diamond ring explanation is the easiest way to tell you that …

If we can begin to start to realise that millions of human beings have been cleverly deceived into actually respecting and loving the very ‘symbolism’ that enslaves us then we can ‘begin’ to break free from the trickery and be free again

Matt Delooze also states that we must freely request / choose our enslavement. So holding Matt’s ideas lightly but firmly in mind – let’s follow the trail of a massive parent symbol.

In the 1950s, as a war-torn Europe rebuilt itself, the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) … [began] to search for ways of bringing together the countries of the EBU around a …

u row

… “light entertainment programme” …

The Eurovision Song Contest … is an annual singing competition … Each member country submits a song to be performed on live television and radio and then …


casts votes for the other countries‘ songs to determine the most popular song in the competition. The contest has been broadcast every year since its inauguration in 1956 and is one of the longest-running television programmes in the world. It is also one of the …

pull the other one

most watched non-sporting events in the world, with audience figures having been quoted … as anything between 100 million and 600 million internationally

Were you paying attention? The winner of this ‘light’ event is chosen by the people.

In 1974 they chose unanimously.

ABBA was a Swedish pop group formed in Stockholm in 1972.

in blue

… They became one of the most commercially successful acts in the history of pop music, topping the charts worldwide from 1972 to 1982. They are also known for unanimously winning the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest … ABBA had sold over 370 million albums and singles worldwide and still sell millions of records a year, which makes them one of the best-selling music artists of all time

‘Fact’ states that:


ABBA is an acronym of the first letters of the band members’ first names (Agnetha, Benny, Bjorn and Anni-Frid) and is sometimes stylized … ᗅᗺᗷᗅ

What a splendid coincidence of names.

That “Abba” has another meaning, makes the force behind this group doubly significant, especially during today’s play:

The word ’ab·ba’′ in Aramaic … literally meaning “the father,” or “O Father.” It was the intimate name used by children for their fathers and combines some of the …

calling names

… intimacy of the English word “papa” while retaining the dignity of the word “father”

Abba is an Aramaic word which means “daddy” or “papa”. What Paul is saying is when you accept Jesus as your Savior you are adopted into God’s family. You become

j hoover

His child and He becomes your heavenly Father

This Aramaic word appears three times in the Scriptures … In each case it is used …

pitter pater

with reference to the heavenly Father, Jehovah

Using Delooze’s ideas we could say that ‘the Father’/Jehovah was unanimously voted in by the people in 1974.

That it was done via two pairs of intimate couples harks back to the very beginnings of our ‘handed down’ religio-mythology.

In Egyptian mythology, the Ogdoad … were eight deities worshipped in … the Old Kingdom

The eight deities were arranged in …

og toad

… four female-male pairs …  Essentially, each pair represents the female and male aspect of one of four concepts, namely the primordial waters, … air or invisibility, … darkness,  and eternity or infinite space.

Together the four concepts represent the primal, fundamental state of the beginning, they are what always was

Again & again it seems we are provided with …

suns on the cross

… ‘entertaining‘ rituals & priests.

Considering the enormous creative potential of the human species why do we end up with so much similarity & repetition in what is presented to us for our ‘choosing’?

In the year between Abba’s conception in ’72 & their public adoption & veneration as ‘Our Father’ in 74, another birthing took place in Stockholm:

Stockholm syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery … in Stockholm, Sweden, in which several bank employees were held hostage in a bank vault from August 23 to August 28, 1973. During this situation, the victims became emotionally attached to their captors, rejected assistance from government officials at one point and even defended them after they were freed from their six-day ordeal

Perhaps Stockholm Syndrome is sparked off by its familiarity with repressed childhood memories.

Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats …


threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other

The lives of many youngsters has way too often been one long captivity.

Mark records that Jesus used the term when praying to Jehovah …  shortly before his death, saying: “Abba, Father, all things are possible to you; remove this cup from me. Yet not what I want, but what you want.” (Mr 14:36) Here is the fervent appeal of a son to a beloved father, followed quickly by an assurance that …


… in any event, he would remain obedient

Now let’s widen the playing field a little more by taking a look at some of ABBA’s winning words. As you read perhaps you might like to wonder if you are listening to a hostage and/or a child:

My, my
At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah
And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself
Waterloo – I was defeated, you won the war
 – Promise to love you for evermore
 – Couldn’t escape if I wanted to
 – Knowing my fate is to be with you

light entertainment

I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger
Oh yeah
And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

These words of capitulation were unanimously voted in in 1974.

How many have sung them since?

Here’s a little further word play on the Abba theme that might interest you:

Barabbas or Jesus Barabbas (literally “son of the father” or “Jesus, son of the father” respectively) is a figure in the account of the Passion of Christ, in which …

opinion poll

… he is the insurrectionary whom Pontius Pilate freed at the Passover feast in Jerusalem, instead of Jesus Christ

Closer inspection of the Barabbas’ tale leaves a strange Eurovision taste in the mouth:

The penalty for Barabbas’ crime was death by crucifixion, but … there was a prevailing Passover custom in Jerusalem that allowed or required Pilate … to commute one prisoner’s death sentence by popular acclaim, and the “crowd” … were offered a choice of whether to have either Barabbas or Jesus Christ released from Roman custody …

br abbas

… the crowd chose Barabbas to be released and Jesus of Nazareth to be crucified. A passage found only in the Gospel of Matthew has the crowd saying, “Let his blood be upon us and upon our children

“… that the choice between two prisoners is a fiction

Whether fact or fiction we are left with a story that has been swallowed by millions.

It’s the same old, same old, same old story:

We are sold two choices – both of course leading to …

choice fixing

… the same destination.

My Abba theory might have fizzled out by now had I not been investigating a ‘parental theme’.

So where’s our mother?

At Waterloo the world capitulated to the Father.

With Mamma Mia (“literal translation is “my mother” or “mother of mine”.”) – it publicly declared …

liberty'd mom

… it couldn’t go on without her, no matter how bad she was.

I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don’t know how but I suddenly lose control
There’s a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Yes, I’ve been broken-hearted

My my, I could never let you go

And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won’t be away too long
You know that I’m not that strong

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, it’s a game we play
Bye bye doesn’t mean forever

Is it because these lyrics were sung by “loving couples” as “love songs“, that millions opened wide & swallowed?

Or is it because the sentiments were traumatically-familiar to listeners?

Or were these lyrics covert hymns understood at a subliminal level?

Or all the above?

Twenty five years to the day after winning the Eurovision Song Contest …

red white & blue

… “Our Father & Mother” were re-invoked & sent round the world.

The world had changed.

Now the strapping-nouveau-woman (ap-parently) wields much power.

Mamma Mia! is based on the songs of ABBA … This musical was the brainchild of producer Judy Craymer … In 1997, Craymer commissioned Catherine Johnson to write the book for the musical. In 1998, Phyllida Lloyd became the director for the show. It is unusual for three women to form the collaboration behind a commercial success in musical theatre

fathers & mothers

The musical includes such hits as … “Lay All Your Love on Me”, “Dancing Queen”, … “Money, Money, Money”, “The Winner Takes It All”… and “SOS”. Over 42 million people have seen the show, which has grossed $2 billion dollars worldwide since its 1999 debut. A film adaptation starring Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan …  was released in July 2008

ABBA’s double parent-ritual-invoking day of 6th April was previously used to re-initiate the modern Olympic Games in 1896.

Gandhi used the same date to star in his own performance:

1930 – Gandhi raises a lump of mud and salt and declares, “With this, I am shaking the foundations of the British Empire,” beginning the Salt Satyagraha


Yep, nothing ritualistic in that!

Despite its length this is really just a tiny sample of a different taste combination – one varied way of viewing the world.

IF you can allow the possibility that cruelty inflicted on children poisons (& has poisoned) our entire species – then there are two things we must consider:

  • Where would we like to go? What would we like our world & our future to be like?


  • Where are we NOW – I mean truly, where are we now?

How much of our life, our energy, our strength lies bleeding beneath the unlimited compassion, guilt & loyalty we extend toward our parents?

As long as we remain ‘children‘ – beings who go on bended knee before our parents


… we are no different to the millions who
uplifted ABBA & their songs
& called upon a parent god to sustain them.

I reckon if I was given a gold coin for every symptom of Stockholm’d Syndrome lurking within the zillions of “love songs” out there, I’d be a fabulously wealthy woman.

Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind.
Whatever happened to our love
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good

So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me
When you’re gone (when you’re gone)
How can I even try to go on
When you’re gone (when you’re gone)
Though I try how can I carry on

You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good

So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me


~  ~  ~

Text in this colour from The Untouched Key ~ Alice Miller

Text in this colour from How Animal’s Talk ~ William J Long


May 21, 2013. Uncategorized.


  1. empoweredbyknowledge replied:

    Sometime around 1978 when I ran away from home (I was 17 at the time) I made friends with strangers of who I still have good memories, I remember one of them saying that “love songs were songs for masochists”. This though made an impact in me at the time and has carried on through the rest of my days. Thanks Aex


  2. alex robinson replied:

    Splendid good sense empowered, thank you for sharing that.


  3. suzanne blumberg replied:

    i compliment your work. it shows a way forward for those who realize this is very much an inward journey(also) we are on. important subject. basic. necessary.
    thank you for your work.


    • alex robinson replied:

      Thanks suzanne
      Basic = foundation – we have blindly continued to build our species using the same foundational layout (what we do to children) for eons – no wonder we have gone in circles.

      very best to you


  4. Michael replied:

    I have to say this is difficult reading, on a very personal level. Thanks for writing it. I was a Matt Delooze fanboy for a while, you might enjoy my take on the reptilian energy ritual that I wrote back in 2008:


  5. alex robinson replied:

    Thanks for reading it Michael, & letting it do its work.
    Cheers for link – using other people’s ideas as a springboard can be very productive -a la Edward de Bono, it introduces the random element that our pattern-forming brains require to stimulate new ideas.

    very best to you


  6. recoveringmetalhead replied:

    This article prompted me to take a stroll down memory lane. I went over to youtube and played some abba vids. Although it was never my type of music I have always felt a certain allegiance to the group as I am 3/4 swedish and their music was unavoidable, even here in the U.S., when I was a child.

    Within the comments for the song “The Name Of The Game” for the last week were these:

    -“10 year old abba fan…I’m the biggest!!!”

    -“My 5 year old daughter is the biggest fan; she can sing almost every ABBA song.”

    -“I’m 16 and you can be sure I love ABBA”

    -“12 year old abba fan”

    As a child I can remember lamenting the extremely large percentage of songs on the radio that were love songs. The reason it was annoying was the fact that I had no life experience to compare to the words in the song. The closest I could come to making sense of it was to apply the lyrical expressions to my family. This seemed quite natural as I was frequently snapping my fingers and tapping my foot along with love songs that I could not understand. It is difficult to estimate the power of music upon humanity via the conscious and the subconscious.

    Abba is an interesting example of this. Regaurdless of their origins, I cannot deny that they were extremely talented musicians all. Composition, writing, instrumental talent and range, harmony, and the vocal ability of the two women.

    Fan = Fanatical

    Fanatical = Excessively or unusually dedicated or devoted…

    The further we sail aboard the ship of parent the more interesting it gets!
    Thanks Alex!


  7. alex robinson replied:

    Hi Dave, thanks once again for your insightful comments altho … ever since reading them I keep finding “The Name of the Game” playing in my head :(

    I agree that we cannot estimate the power of music on humanity, tho I would think that it must be akin to icing on the cake – never meant as the main course because it’s way too rich for constant consumption. However if you were looking for something to create a hypnotic hold, well then it would be perfect…

    very best to you


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