finding ‘the one’

How much time, energy, despair, searching, yearning & loss has our civilisation endured in its search for …

the won

… the fabled “one“.

It’s time …


… to end this farce.

If you want to keep that life-sucking dream alive, walk away now.

If you are thinking of inserting the alter-legend, “we have many soul-mates”, not just one –  you are still on the same path,  just a little further down the track.

You know what is said in this place:

No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road,
turn back

There is only one person who you need absolutely in your life.

It’s not God.

It’s not your father

It’s not your mother.

It’s not your lover.

It’s not your child.

It’s not your soul.

It’s not you.


This person is 100% dependent on you.

Without you
they die.

But without them you also will die – oh you’ll survive for a while, but slowly the vitality goes, the life dries up, the eyes dull & you …


…  sink to the surface.

Superficiality becomes your home.

Who is this person so dependent on you?

It is someone you will
never meet.

It is someone who can give you
more ‘love’
than any other being on this (or any) planet.

It is someone who can keep your path strong & true.

It is someone who will never seek to harm you,
because their existence completely depends
on you & the choices you are making.

This person is your future self.

If you do not have a living, breathing connection with this being, then you have absolutely nowhere to go, no direction in which to head.

Why do children have so much energy, so much drive?

Because they are rooted in who they are becoming. They are in a perpetual …


love-adoration affair
with their “future self”.

They may adore their parents, siblings or friends but no one has more non-stop reality to them than their future selves.

The terrible thing is that I think an awful lot of us suffered too long, too alone & too harshly & we lost touch with our self of the future.

The well that once nourished us,
all but dried up.

I think reconnecting with our future selves may be the most vital thing we can do for our present selves.

When you have a connection to who you want to become /what you want to experience, you create a spectacular tension …


… a tension that constantly seeks to ‘resolve’
& thus it takes you
with it.

If you have a future self, …

pic 1

… you have momentum.

Without a future self you are stuck in a state of inertia.

It is not the ‘love of your life’ or money, or fame that makes your life zing, it is the twang of releasing tension as you reach towards your future self.

This is the stuff of perpetual energy –
always reaching towards
the one who you give life to,

pic 3
& who gives life to you.

This self has NOTHING to do with who or where we are now – it CANNOT exist here with us, it lives in the future, it cannot breathe the ‘present air’. If we died tomorrow, it would die with us. That’s how vulnerable and dependent it is on us. But if we don’t go back to nourishing & watering it, our ‘futures’ will be desiccated.

What I’m talking about here is the most high art & alchemy used constantly …

mute daughters

… by all children – this is NOT the stuff of the adult world.

We are NOT talking about an older version of our present selves. If anything we are linking the child-self we once were to the future-self it longed to become, & bypassing our stuffy-zombified present selves. We let ourselves out to play & so rekindle our dreams.

This work involves constant sensory awareness, focused day-dreaming, inspired play, bold statements, fabulous future-talking, wish-researching & a goddamn respectful & electrically-charged connection to the us-to-be we long to make exist.

pic 2

What experiences do you want that self to have?

If you will pay just a little attention & respect I think you may find that your future self has many of the qualities of the child you once were. I find vulnerability, honesty, excitement, naughtiness & big, big dreams (shhhhhhh…).

Here’s the real kicker – the more I allow her to exist, the more I, in my tiny present self, contemplate what she wants, the braver, bolder  & naughtier I get. In the tension I have been creating I’m pushing through barriers that once seemed impassable as if they were made of cotton wool.

Were they always made of cotton wool & I couldn’t see …

cotton wool

… or is my in-tension & desire
changing their structure?

The future self is both unborn & grownup – it’s existence rests solely in our hands, in our decisions, in our taking responsibility for it, in our care for it.

Connect to it and you ignite yourself – there isn’t any going back …

pic 4

… once you’ve felt its
vulnerable magnificence.

Part of the significance of this post (if you deem it has such), might lie in what it does to the West’s obsession with relationships – it means, you see, that at the start of every healthy relationship, four people need enter into it, not two.

Two present selves AND two future selves.

This post is based in reality. Today I begin walking a path that would have been impossible had I not started building a connection to my future self – on my ‘own’ I simply did not have the momentum.

No one can create this relationship for you, or maintain it. There are no rules –

pic 2

… each person must work with themselves. Like any relationship it will be ongoing. But it’s power, which I have only slightly glimpsed, is immense.

One slight hint that might help in reconnecting – try to build up to saying ‘no‘ three times a day – not the “no”s that come easy, I mean the ones you have been ignoring for far too long.

July 18, 2013. Uncategorized.


  1. libyansibyl44 replied:

    This is so true.

    • alex robinson replied:

      Thanks sibyl – sorry for delay, your comment fell into the spam folder

      very best to you & your future self

  2. transcenddesigns replied:

    Beautious… :)

  3. Max replied:

    This article fits well with my current situation. I sacrificed too often my future self in favour of the present.

    Thanks for this piece, Alex.

  4. alex robinson replied:

    thanks Brad :)
    very best to you & your future self

    Hello Max
    I have a feeling that what happens is that as we shut down to (shut out) our future self we get locked into the present, we have nowhere to go – don’t be hard on yourself – just begin re-contemplating that self back to life.
    very best to the both of you

  5. marie cleary replied:

    I love your indepth and realistic views…lots of reality and truth..a great write up Alex once more…..great perspective my friend….truly!
    Thanks for sharing with such understanding and truth.

  6. alex robinson replied:

    Hello Marie & thank you.:)
    hugs across the waters

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