peeling Gandhi

Fuck fuck fuck.

It’s all so ‘fucking’ obvious when you start to grasp the most basic underlying structure of the ‘game’ we keep playing, so grotesquely.

Face the pain or
keep playing the game …


… it really does come down to you.

Let’s see if I can put my money where my mouth has been, (especially over the last few months) & give you ‘reasonable cause’ to re-think your stance on the parent issue.

What if I can (reasonably) unsettle the greatness of one of history’s most treasured leaders?

Feel free to bring your knives along
to cut down this post,
but do at least
read it

~  ~  ~

Lately I’ve been working on an article using the ideas of a delightfully, up-front writer.  His honesty about years of struggle with chronic illness reached inside me & made a real difference.

As I took notes, I found myself drawn strongly to his musings on …

repetition man

Mahatma Gandhi.

So here for your educational pleasure or historical indigestion, is a little post inspired by one man’s astute observations:

The first paragraph gives a little insight into our author’s character & straight up style: (the bold bits are mine to help today’s investigation)

“Flying home from Delhi, I had been very aware that within forty-eight hours of landing I would be anaesthetised in hospital with a rigid instrument skewered through my penis.  ‘About as thick as a pencil,’ one website had said.  At least it’s the last experiment and we’ll have the final truth.

In the corridor seat I’d asked for, near the bathroom, I read Gandhi’s autobiography, appropriately entitled …


… The Story of My Experiments with Truth. Since I was visiting India it had seemed right to read Gandhi. I was struck by the books excessive reference to diet. Gandhi seemed to remember what he’d eaten, or more hadn’t eaten, every day of his life. ‘Soon after this,’ runs a typical sentence, ‘I decided to live on a pure fruit diet, using only the cheapest fruit possible.’ He imposed these regimes on those around him, his long-suffering wife in particular. No meat, no eggs, no alcohol, no salt, no  cereals, no food at all after sundown.

The autobiography is also unusually up front about embarrassing ailments. ‘As a result of the attack of dysentery [brought on by eating groundnut butter] my anal tract had become extremely tender, and owing to fissures I felt an excruciating pain at the time of evacuation, so that the very idea of eating filled me with dread.’

… I puzzled over this strange story as the plane made its steady journey west: almost every aspect of Gandhi’s relationship with his body became a means of imposing his will on others, yet he thought of himself as striving only for purity and universal love.

‘The carnal mind,’ he writes, always lusts for delicacies and luxuries … Instead of controlling the senses, it becomes their slave.’

So he rules out sex with his wife from age thirty-seven; she must also renounce her jewelry.

‘I explained that it was always a good thing to join with others in any matter of self-denial.’

Accordingly, he doesn’t allow a desperately sick child to be given meat broth. He doesn’t allow his dying wife to be injected with antibiotics. Injections are impure. She dies.

Again and again, Gandhi uses the spectacle of…


… his own self-starvation to force his political enemies onto the back foot … His enemies can’t hit back because everyone agrees that self-denial is a positive quality that leads to purity.

The above extract comes from Teach Us To Sit Still (A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing) by Tim Parks.

As I re-browsed this book, looking for something quite different, those words on Gandhi insisted on being noticed.

As often happens now, when I hear of high weirdness in some ‘famous’ personage, I get to wondering about their childhood.  I was sure that if I looked, drastic echoes would be found in his past.

Most of the world looks out upon this view of Gandhi:

The word Mahatma means great soul. This name was not given Gandhi at birth by his parents, but many years later by the Indian people when they discovered they had a Mahatma in their midst


I had to hunt around a bit for his childhood & some sites don’t like to share, but damn it, the world desperately needs to know the reality of its ‘great leaders’.

What was driving them wasn’t ‘genius’ or ‘humanity’ – so often it was fucked-up childhoods that they could not or would not remember. Please read & decide for yourself whether Gandhi was re-running his childhood. The actors may have changed …

big business

… but the story remains painfully the same.

The past:

Gandhi remembered his father as truthful, brave, incorruptible, and short-tempered, but he remembered his mother as a saint.

Putlibai was absolutely devoid of weaknesses characteristic for women of her age and class: she was indifferent to …


… fine objects and glamorous jewelry

The re-run:

So he rules out sex with his wife from age thirty-seven; she must also renounce her jewelry

The past:

Putlibai, with children clinging to her, divided her time between the temple and home. Her children were intrigued and fascinated by their mother’s fasts and vows. Frequently Gandhi’s mother would follow a vow not to eat anything until she hears a cuckoo sing. One time the cuckoo had been silent for a very long time. Gandhi, still a baby, could not bear to see his mother starve … he went behind the house and began emulating the bird. Then he came back inside and told his mother that …


… he had heard the cuckoo sing. … Nonetheless, Putlibai was very upset – she knew that her son wanted to deceive her. With tearful eyes, she exclaimed, “What have I done, what sin have I committed to have born a liar of a son!” Notwithstanding that Gandhi’s lie was “saintly”, he vowed that he would never lie again

Owing to Putlibai, the image of woman perceived by him was one of love and sacrifice

The re-run:

I decided to live on a pure fruit diet, using only the cheapest fruit possible.’ He imposed these regimes on those around him …


his long-suffering wife in particular

The past:

The outstanding impression that my mother has left on my memory is that of saintliness. She was deeply religious …. She would take the hardest vows and keep them without flinching … I can recall her once falling ill when she was observing Chandrayana vow, but the illness was not allowed to interrupt the observance … During another Chaturmas she vowed not to have food without seeing the sun. We children on those days would stand, staring at the sky, waiting to announce the  appearance of the sun to our mother. Everyone knows that at the height of the rainy season the sun does not often …


… condescend to show his face. And I remember days when, at his sudden appearance, we would rush and announce it to her. She would run to see with  her own eyes, but by that time the fugitive sun would be gone thus depriving her of her meal. “That does not matter” she would say cheerfully, “God did not want me to eat today.

The re-run:

… the very idea of eating filled me with dread

This is really, really sick – there is no other way of seeing it.

What kind of mother inflicts such sadism on her children. They must have lived in fear of her dying, especially considering all the hype and attention she constantly directed to her own refusal to eat.

Were Gandhi’s adult actions those of a severely-traumatised child repeating his past? Why else would there be so much attention to the denial of food while constantly obsessing about it.

What is also very concerning, but can only be guess-work on my part is that he must have carried a buried rage against this woman, and it was this that he covertly took out on his wife:

So he rules out sex with his wife from age thirty-seven; she must also renounce her jewelry

He doesn’t allow his dying wife to be injected with antibiotics. Injections are impure. She dies

How can the following adjectives all exist in the same sentence as proof of love & care?

Putlibai’s abounding love, her ascetic resolve and iron will had left an indelible imprint on the soul of her youngest son

And what was his mother’s history? I found only a whisper – yet I guarantee that cruelty connected to food played a huge part in her upbringing:

In the 19th century India the girls’ education was strictly religious: since early childhood Putlibai was taught to rigidly observe and honor sacred traditions

This is not deeply researched. That was not my intention. I simply wanted to introduce a ripple of hesitation in your historical education.

We were given our great leaders – actually they were poured down our throats with a funnel.  Now we need to ask:

  • ‘What was their real history’?
  • ‘What were their real motives’?

How much of history was directed by talented people who were deeply twisted by traumatic childhoods?

~  ~  ~

I refer you to Alice Miller’s work for in-depth & penetrating clarity.

August 3, 2013. Uncategorized.


  1. Michael Skaggs replied:

    This was inserted into my reality at just the right time. How can there be anything new under the sun, if we keep repeating old wounding patterns? These sick cyclical patterns that keep repeating…thanks for sharing Alex!


  2. Sinead replied:

    Very interesting as always : )


  3. endpointithaca replied:

    the modern sickness; thanks for this post


  4. Mark LeClair replied:

    Hey Alex…

    Long time no chat.

    Here is a true tale of my high school years We were shown Attenburrough’s film and encouraged to discuss. I proposed the following “test”.

    I asked my teacher: who is the man, world famous from the late 1920’s into the 1940’s, whose cherished symbology uses the swastika, who returned to his fatherland to fight to regain its original splendour causeing a cataclysm that created the division of a nation, a forced diaspora displacing millions, and the death of countless civilians.

    Of course he quickly answered “Hitler”. I reminded him we were talking about Gandhi.


    • alex robinson replied:

      Add childhood trauma to any mix & a lot of people are going to get hurt.
      I am glad to see you have a healthy appreciation of food Mr l’Eclair


  5. thea replied:

    not bitterness toward his mother but a recreating of the woman he longed for. and he wanted to find a more fulfilling God experience that he perceived putlibai to also have had.


    • alex robinson replied:

      I honestly can’t see that any healthy man would long for a woman who honoured starvation. I cannot see any healthy ‘god’ honouring starvation in his people. Putllibai was just as abused, that is why she abused her children – until people can see this chain of abuse it will effortlessly continue its destruction.


  6. Kitty replied:

    I’ve always hated Gandhi, self righteous, self deluded, weirdo – so no argument from me. You’ve explained him quite well. He’s right up there with the much admired Dali Lama, just another fucker.
    Notice how these people are so above it all when speaking to the masses about their own self denial (delusion). One thing they certainly enjoy though is the lime light, no denial there. Just give them a bright spot and a microphone and they won’t ever STFU.
    And all the pain and suffering they bring to others, beyond words.

    Quick note on our modern day Dali (or is that dolly?). His superness was in my city recently and being the capitol of the state he got to speak before the full legislature about goodness or some such bullshit. The politicians, media and all the sycophants in this oh so progressive city (commie atheists) just lapped it up. Not a disparaging word was heard. Now if the pope had showed up and tried to speak before the legislature all hell would have broke loose. We would have heard about separation of church and state, blah, blah, blah. (Not saying I like the pope, it’s just the hypocrisy is so deep).
    But then again, the pope isn’t best friends forever with the vivesectors at the University. You know, the good guys, the neuroscientists that are studying emotions, or as the Dali likes to say “happiness”. Slime balls all and the people lap it up. The Buddhists playing doctor at the University like to study animals, first they meditate, then they torture the animals, then they meditate some more, then they cut the monkeys up into small pieces and then they present their brilliant findings to the public, oh and, pocket loads of cash.
    And you can bet all of the researches at the University were severly abused children. No doubt about it.
    Thanks for the post and letting me vent about our modern day Mr. Holiness.


    • Michael Skaggs replied:

      Here here!! All self righteous b.s. spewed to the “masses”. Enjoyed the rant of TRUTH.


    • alex robinson replied:

      If we can learn to see & address where hypocrisy is birthed, we may change the whole course of the world.

      I honestly think that if a small group of people will brave this fire, they will create a change at the heart of humanity. The majority of people are ‘highway builders’ – trampling down the ‘make-shift alternate paths’ that are laid out by the few who dare to question the madness & pain now considered ‘normal’.

      Hypsocisy does tend bring out a good rant in a sane mind :)


  7. Shane replied:

    Haven’t left any comments in awhile, Alex, so I thought I’d just drop you a line of encouragement. Keep healing yourself and encouraging others to heal themselves. :)


  8. Kitty replied:

    And…..Alex, I always wanted to ask you, do you know of/like Jeffrey Masson’s work. He was a friend/not friend of Alice Miller, they both had good things to say about the other. He writes about animal rights now, quite famously, but use to be a Freudian until he spilt the beans on the cover-up of the abuse of children. Great writer. And he’s a New Zealander.


    • alex robinson replied:

      Hi Kitty, no I haven’t heard of his work – to be honest I try to keep the ‘wise people’ to a minimum – it’s so easy to get bogged down in other people’s thoughts & I need LOTS of space for my own ideas. That said if he turns up in my research I will certainly give him a read.


  9. zen855 replied:

    Hi Alex, havent read your articles for a while, this one caught my attention.

    very sharp one !

    I have experimenting myself a lot with different diets and found that food influences mental processes and on a longer time even personality traits.

    i ‘ve noticed with myself , that restriction of food can be temporarily give more clearness to mental processes, but the way gandhi did is a recipe for disease.

    fasting can be addictive. it makes you high. the body starts to destroy muscle and other parts and sacrifices them for energy . like a smallscale death.

    especially the resitriction of salt wich dehydtraes the body , and accelerates the cell-death.

    and also see that gandhi uses illogical ”magical” thinking to rationalise whatever he decides to do.

    o his mother did this by letting the visibility of the sun decide if she can eat.

    it can be so difficult te figure out what old program is still running in the present situations.

    Bye ! greetings from amsterdam


    • alex robinson replied:

      Thanks zen, interesting points re effects of food

      It is extremely difficult to discern the old programs, and then to turn and face them because of the amount of emotion attached. Yet I think this is vital and the more we seek the truth of our own stories the easier & more unmissable (in every sense of the word) it becomes

      very best to you


  10. shabsoasis replied:

    Wow. Makes total sense why I never cared to learn about Ghandi. Inspiring hungry people to starve themselves…I always found his story to be a bit much for me, and now you broke open why I am so uncomfortable with his image. Thank you


    • alex robinson replied:

      hello shaboasis, I think there have been many things we have been uncomfortable with in the past but had nothing to compare our feelings too – the more we can build up a ‘library’ of alternative ways of seeing, the easier it becomes to use our uncomfortable feelings and apply them as necessary

      very best to you


  11. chiller replied:

    Alex, thanks for your comment !

    I coincidentally heard the new interview with Lenon Honor on Red Ice.

    He is now dealing with this subject of old programming and it opened some new insights for me . As i did some introspection into my past and present.

    I have found for me that single point meditation helps to turn inside to listen to the subconscious chatter. This can help revealing running programs.

    Observe but dont react to in order not to get lost in the emotion and feeding it more.
    when i lose myself , i breath , close eyes and go to center , become calm, and i try to see again.

    after a few tries it becomes easier to keep a clear mind and not get lost.

    it is like retraining your mind-mechanics wich for the most is on subconscous autopilot.

    i also now check what my feelings are , the amount of tension in my body corresponding with certain thoughts. then is becomes easier to be aware in dealings with the external world.

    after a while the reactions to certain triggers become less and more energy is freed up for conscious thoughts and less mind-foggines.

    i believe that timing and choice of and combing of food is essential to work with yourself and not against.

    have been keeping a diary for food, but also how body feels during the day, that way you can find out what works the best for you.

    for me its now all about gaining conscious control on all aspects of myself and creating a healthy structure and not a destructive inefficient one.

    take care, ( strange expression , care is given not taken , just like takin a shit, )

    thanks to the Celtic Rebel, i think that the engllish language is full of illogical bullshit so we go into subspace and lose a lot of processing capacity .especially with commonly used expressions.

    bye !



  12. Mick replied:

    You can add Buddha to the list – a total misogynist through guilt that his birth caused the death of his mother.


  13. alex robinson replied:

    Hello chiller,
    I hope your journeys within help you create a wonderful home for yourself.
    I wrote an article on my feelings about the English in 2010 – I inclined to the view that it is a cunningly crafted & alchemically-potent language, that if used correctly could supercharge our growth.

    very best to you

    Hello Mick
    I’ve not looked into Buddhism, but I did come across someone else a while ago whole-heartedly echoing your sentiment.


  14. Mick replied:

    Yes, I remember feeling quite disillusioned when I read about his contempt for women.I think it was ‘The Shadow of the Dalai Lama'(or something like that). It wasn’t long after that I came across Bronte Baxter’s blog on TM and energy extraction. Then I came across your work.

    All nicely serendipitous, really :-)


    • alex robinson replied:

      That feeling of disillusionment is quite often the sign of nourishment/descernment – you have just ‘digested’ truth/reality – it feels like indigestion but it’s just your digestive juices beginning to work


    • chiller replied:

      I agree with you Mick and Alex in the comment below, I have been reading bronte Baxter as well for a while, and i have found that even if there are good things in Buddhism ,

      there is still a Guru with an acquired projected authority and a false holiness , wich i cannot buy anymore in this stage of my life,

      and he is very happy to hold ceremony’s in washington DC and UN,

      i just dont trust any movement with a figurehead claiming the truth ,
      and a priest class putting themselves higher than you and a monk-class
      wich does not work or contribute to society but parasites on poor people

      also they take young children away from their natural parents to be brainwashed to continue their cult.

      no child should be ever conivinced of anything before they reach maturity and develop critical thinking, otherwise its just brainwashing disguised in a cloak of benign bullscheisse ,

      ia hve been studying the trivium wich teaches logical thinking and seeing through lies , if interested here is the link :


  15. Mick replied:

    Ha, ha! Nicely said. Thank you.


  16. chiller replied:

    Thankx Alex, it helps to clear my mind as well, because i had never put these words together like this before .

    check this out , very funny and on topic :)


    • alex robinson replied:

      It’s amazing how taking the time & effort to put something into words in a way that others can hear helps to round things out for us.

      Thanks for the vid :)


      • chiller replied:

        I had a thought wich i would like to share here as it is relevant after i listened to your podcast in wich you shared the dealings with your family and your refusal to join in the funeral of your mother and the beach.

        i have had a similar experience with my father. I refused to partake in the muslim/funeral rites, as he had treated me differently then my younger siblings. Also i did not like the public show by a big group, i’d rather grieve solitary.
        And as i quit my slave religion, i did also not wanted to join in the religious rituals, it was just not me.

        our family system is also a prison on a certain degree.

        the version of you perceived by the family system might not be the way you want to perceive yourself.

        My thought :

        Dont decode/render with your mind others how they want you to (because that might be a false projection of theirs )

        and dont encode/create/build up yourself ( your perceptions about yourself ) how others want you to.

        people are all the time projecting and decoding, it’s good to take control of your mind, so others cannot anymore :)


        further maybe offtopic i would like to share 2 links wigh might be interesting to take a look at :

        i have been experimenting with some of the recommendations of this guy and found some beneficial changes in my clarity.

        and i have been commenting on the next page wich deals also with the guru’s wich are given to us and i have been trying to figure out the mechanics of how they so easily can hypnotize the masses so easily
        wich has baafled me for a long time. :


  17. chiller replied:

    I quote :

    In early Buddhism, as in medieval Christian culture, the human body as such, but in particular the female body, was despised as a dirty and inferior thing, as something highly imperfect, that was only superficially beautiful and attractive.

    In order to meditate upon the transience of all being, the monks, in a widespread exercise, imagined a naked woman. This so-called “analytic meditation” began with a “perfect” and beautiful body, and transformed this step by step into an old, diseased, and dying one, to end the exercise by picturing a rotting and stinking corpse.

    The female body, as the absolute Other, was meditatively murdered and dismembered as a symbol of the despised world of the senses.
    Sexual fascination and the irritations of murderous violence are produced by such monastic practices. We return later to historical examples in which monks carried out the dismemberment of women’s bodies in reality.

    source from this online book about the darkside of buddhism :

    The Shadow of the Dalai Lama – Part I – 1. Buddhism and misogyny – an historical overview


    • alex robinson replied:

      Thanks chiller, that’s amazing information – it’s so past time for us to question anyone who has been ‘given’ to us as a ‘great one’ or anything that has been given to us as ‘sacred’.
      We have to relearn to use our own senses


      • chiller replied:

        I was really shocked after reading it, but it makes sense , in the buddhist society’s today the main emphasis for the clergy is on males. so it us unbalanced anyway if they leave half of humanity outside . just like islam, judaism, and christian organized religion.

        and the way i nowadays judge religions/cults is if they put a beliefsystem in a young child’s mind or not. it is like a mental rape they commit to their children, distorting their natural growth of their mind and sometimes making it impossible to ever bee free again.

        after i have read the book, i will crossreference it with other sources in order to not get manipulated again :

        All the hoops and loops we have to jump through just to get to the truth :)

        and slightly off topic : have you check matthew delooze at ?

        he has written some very good articles.


      • alex robinson replied:

        hello chiller, it’s good to hear a thinking/questioning mind at work.

        I’ve followed Matt’s work for years – in a way he got me writing, I love the idea-shaking he does.


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