know thy selves

For a bigger, brighter, glossier outcome
to my upcoming article, please engage
in the following hateful exercise.

Take your time, don’t rush it
Be curious

Your starter for 10:


Which 3 people do you hate most in all the world?

Write them down, keep it private AND don’t take any action you would regret.


Get clear about each one – what do you hate about them?


Don’t rush – take a few days to mull this over.


Indulge your feelings. Chop and change your hates until you get to the three dirtiest names you can find.

You may surprise yourself
as to who makes it to your list.

It was a struggle for me at first – hate’s much stronger and badder than ‘don’t like’. We’re not encouraged to be ok with our hates.

I ended up with one movie star and two meh people from my past. This was very surprising.

But when I looked at the whys there were unexpected correlations between all three.

Of itself this would have been interesting though forgettable.

However things took a very useful turn when contemplating my next article. So get ready for that by doing some work now.

Who do you hate and why?

~  ~  ~

This question comes from Journey to You by Steve Olsher, an Inside the Structure book which nevertheless has some useful questions aimed at clarity.

January 26, 2018. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

two belong in this place

At around 5:30 John said that Jesus said that …


“I can of my own self do nothing.”

and that is a goddamn fact!

Today we take a three-pronged look at the crooked thinking we have lived by for too long.

We will do this by seeing

  1. the astounding uselessness of our individual selves
  2. the enormous power of our selves in ‘relationship’ and
  3. the astonishing reality of our multiple selves

By the end of this read you may

  1. hate me for upsetting your cherished identity
  2. feel small and insecure & seek ice-cream or alcohol or
  3. say “fuck yes what took you so long to get this written”

Any response is valid. At least with option one & two you know your heart is still beating.

~  ~  ~

Let’s begin by weeding out the faint of heart and stirring up the wrath-wraiths with a simple warming statement.

You are useless.

Seriously, I’m not joking, you really are useless.

You are useless in the way …

new born

… a newborn babe is useless.

You really can do nothing by yourself. And this will never change.

However this bad news is really great news, at least according to the theory proposed here today.

I have stated many times my ideas on ‘bringing your 50%’.

You can give 100% but you can never be more than fifty percent of a healthy, workable relationship.

In other words you have to meet things, engage with a person, group, project or idea in the (50/50) middle. You meet them half way and…


they meet you half way.

This has to happen …

softest touch

… in order for anything valuable to be created.

This ‘middle’ may not be an obvious, exact or geographic “middle”.

What it has to be is,
a ‘willing’ middle.

As Robert Fritz would say,
It takes two ‘yeses’.

An example,

The sperm meets the egg in the middle. The sperm may look like it’s the active, go-getting partner, but without the egg to receive it, it will just be another voyager…

lost at sea

… lost at sea.

There’s got to a willingness to each and every conception, that’s why only one sperm out of millions get through – it’s not because they are a tougher battering ram. I understand that some conceptions are downright nasty, yet I think that at some cellular level there is a willingness for the event to take place, at that time.

So let’s use the sperm and the egg to illustrate our uselessness.

Show me a man made in his father’s (sperm) image and I’ll show you a

hot sperm

vamoosing woman.

Right from the word go we are shown that creation in this world is made of two.

This damned concept of Oneness, of Unity, of the continual struggle to be ‘The One’, is poison. The only place that leads to is alONEness…


… in a barren wasteland.

Which leads me to another place of dangerous ONENESS – the world inside of ourselves.

Within us lies a fantasy world of such epic, powerful and…

mirror mirror

… mesmerising proportions that it has the ability to destroy its user.

So insanely dangerous is this inner world that we are given physical traits to help overcome it i.e. our eyes face outward. We cannot gaze upon ourselves unless we have the help of a mirror…


… and even that can be dodgy.

Staying sane requires us to engage with the outer world just as it is, with as little reference to our inner fantasy news reports as possible.

Staying sane requires us to engage with our ongoing hot-off-the-inner-press emotional news reports – by checking them against reality.

And last but not least staying sane requires us to bring what is inside us into the outer world in a way that others can grasp. Turning what has meaning for us, into what has meaning for others makes our rich inner-fantasy world a treasure trove for the world & an ally for ourselves.

The inner and outer must be in relationship with each other.

I believe that when we gaze too long inside we begin to dissolve ourselves because our gaze is too strong. Remember how Moses couldn’t look at God because his gaze burned him … well we’re supposedly made in his image.

When we willingly become half of something else, life seems to just move in. It seems to always await our choices and actions.

For instance, right now you are in relationship with this article. In each person who reads it, life is activated differently. Of itself this article is a dead thing – typed words and images on a page. It is YOU relating to it, that is turning it into something.

Have you ever noticed how you can get sooohhh excited about a book, idea etc and then you share it with someone else and it turns into a limp, lead weight of feebleness, well now you know why, you and the object of your affection formed a life connection. The person you tried to upload your joy into was not attuned. It wasn’t for them.

You know when you have those movies with the two halves of a code, map, key etc hidden separately and only when pieced together can the treasure be found. Well what if that’s us?


We can never be more than half, yet also we can never be less than half. We are essential to creating life and yet meaningless by ourselves – how strangely reassuring is that?


One is impotent and infertile.

Two (or more) is generative.

Everywhere we have bought into ONE needs to be called into question.

ONE does not move – it does not have life.

One/WON is something perfected – it does not have life

One goes round in circles – it does not have life


“unite (v.)  early 15c. … from Late Latin unitus, “to unite, make into one”.”

Now what if our failings, our weaknesses, our embarrassing bits are the most important things we have? What if our imperfections save us from the lifelessness of perfection and can inspire us to create?

Surely the places we hurt and the places we fuck up are the places we are most stimulated to make changes in. Maybe we should be grateful for these.

Ok moving on. There are some real changes in thinking that need to take place for us to navigate current mindfuckery.

First, make sure you live in TWO worlds.

two worlds

  1. The world of the healthy, questioning ‘conspiracy’ nut – the nut who sees the goddamn chemtrails, the unity plans, the engineered water crisis, the weird shit that falls out of the sky etc and
  2. The new flat screen, HD reality that is being created, do what you have to do, take what’s on offer as long as it doesn’t sell out your soul, because where else can you go – you still have to live.

I have read many great books lately, but always the writer is stuck in a ONE world view.

When I read I put one foot in their world and I keep one on the solid ground of TWO world thinking. There are two worlds here, so don’t lose your footing by selling out to one or the other.

Next try unplugging from unnecessary stressors.

i.e. (except after c)

Tone down the happiness fetish. Or even throw the little fucker out of your life.

This mindfuck-drug was pumped into the veins of the Western World over the last 100 years. Do not chase happiness or rate your life according to how much you have of it.


Happiness actually makes you less discerning, the last thing you want to be these days.

Just live in two worlds, get out of your head, create stuff and you’ll feel a lot better. Got it?

Next you need to start getting comfortable with discomfort.

Seriously, you really want to do this.
Comfort-heroin is not a healthy option.

Unfortunately comfort addiction is another engineered mindfuck. Bizarrely it actually arouses our fears for survival and we learn to panic when ANY kind of discomfort looms.

In Your Survival Instinct is Killing You, Marc Schoen gives some simple exercises to help reduce the fear of discomfort. What interests me is the method of holding TWO emotions at the same time instead of the usual single/ONE focus on whatever is bothering us.

He likens unhealthy single-minded-fear-focus to a rainbow made up only of red.


When we are able to train our brains to hold discomfort AND another feeling at the same time it’s like bringing in different colours – now the red is tempered …

more colours to your bow

… by other colours and we are no longer overwhelmed by ‘single’ focus.

And finally,
we come to the final blow,
to your identity.

Did you know that not only are you useless, and a comfort addict, you may also have a multiple personality disorder?

Ok just kidding, we can let the disorder bit slide.

But how about considering this. You are not the one person that you think you are, you are made up of multiple personalities.

I have found the ideas from The People You Are by Rita Carter to be thought provoking to say the least.

Carter suggests that each of us is a “team of personalities, working together, for the most part, to give the impression of a unified self”. This is unlike Multiple Personality Disorder where each personality is unaware of the others,

“Reading this book made me think about all of the times I’ve been perplexed at how a person can be one thing one minute, something different the next.”

If we work best in relationship then what if belonging to a community of selves (and knowing it) might give us more choices & more options?

“Twins, arch-nemeses, imagined selves, ‘Sliding Doors plots’… all of these are used in fiction to get across the idea of multiple selves without actually writing multiple selves.”

The more I think about this the more it makes sense and by paying attention lately I have definitely felt the rustle of personalities changing hands in my life according to the situation I am in at the time.

I find the notion intriguing, disconcerting and comforting.

To take the sting out of it, imagine being comprised of a group of mish-mashed compatriots on a quest.


Some you like better than others but each has a skill or ability that will come to the forefront when needed.

In a conversation with my son recently, he talked about the super confidant, ‘lip-giver’ he becomes in certain university law classes. However he has also found that sometimes this personality didn’t show up. Our conversation helped him identify the missing ingredient/trigger that allows this character to show up.

I remember a past hairdresser who was so cool, calm and collected and I really envied her laidbackness and told her so. She completely surprised me by saying she wasn’t like that outside the hair salon, in fact she was shy and lacking confidence.

Other people I have known now make a lot more sense when I apply this concept to them.  It really helps to think of inexplicable events as the result of differing selves come to the forefront rather than one person who seems to be totally fucked in the head at certain times. Myself included, I’m sure.

So think on this, if you are a group of selves do you have an ‘identity’ to either defend or impress others with?

I almost get the sense of being a CEO with a new mission – to update my company, check on who has been hired and if the job they are doing is beneficial to where I want my company to head in. If not I may have work to do.

Especially as I imagine that many of these characters were formed early in life to deal with specific situations. It’s quite possible we based these personalities on characters that appealed to us in movies and books. Would we still want or need these characters running our lives now?

Indeed I have wondered if certain selves, (you know those ones that really cause havoc) might be able to create scenarios that allow them to come on centre stage to ‘deal’ with the situation (that they caused).

waiting in wings

They create the problem so they can show up as the cavalry with the solution.

While I definitely think possession and entities exist, I don’t feel this multiplicity is part of that. Think of how you learned to drive a car. You now have a car driving personality that you allow to get you to & from work while you wander round in your head figuring out what to make for dinner.

So to finish I want to offer the idea that fairytales are examples of multiple personalities creating needed change for the individual whom they work for.

Let’s start with Rapunzel.

Rapunzel lost her ability to ‘speak up’.

Maybe no one would believe her, maybe she was made fun of, maybe she was too smart and no one wanted to hear her – we don’t know.

All we do know is that somehow she was “shut up” in a tower.

The Prince in this story symbolises the relationship with the outer world that will release her from the bondage of self-imposed exile in her inner world. She must desire and be willing to do the work to create relationship with the outer reality/Prince.


When the witch and the Prince call for her to let down her hair, she sends down her flowing locks – showing us that she has always had the key to her own freedom.

When the angry witch cuts off her hair and sends her away, Rapunzel is returned back to the world and she has to take the time it takes to re-establish her connection with it. Eventually she finds the Prince who was blinded by the witch and now that she has regained her voice and her power she can heal him.

Seen from this angle, there are no baddies, only personalities creating situations to bring about a return to power.

In Sleeping Beauty, the damsel is imprisoned inside her own psyche – she shuts out this world. This time another part of her personality has to work slowly to cut away this extreme limbic reaction (a wall of thorns + 100 years sleep) in order to return her to reality.

Cinderella is a co-dependent sacrificial slave who has to desire more out of life than being good. Her personalities provide a one-offkick-start in the pants by showing her a good time. One of Cinders more sensible personalities flips off her shoe at the last minute so she has a chance of meeting her prince/reality and continuing in a better life.

Beauty and the Beast – the beast is the discarded part of ‘Beauty’ that she has to come to accept. Relationship with this world is never going to be beautiful or comfortable, so Beauty has to learn to live with all that entails.

Adam and Eve – here’s a couple choosing self-imposed exile by refusing to accept life on its terms – angry about the ‘lowliness’ of being useless and only ever half of anything. They were fooled by shampoo adverts into believing they could have it all. We’re still waiting for the return to reality of these TWO.

January 20, 2018. Uncategorized. 17 comments.

too oh won 8

I wish everyone an exceptionally revolutionary year.

Let’s make it unexpectedly original!

I have an article underway about a fascinating way to look at fairy tales which should be uploaded soooonish.

Am also working on my first grown up book which will probably only appeal to questioning minds, but you never know…

Don’t give up,
don’t give in,
don’t fuck about …

there’s work to be done.

Back soon

January 1, 2018. Uncategorized. 5 comments.