oh your god!

 

“So, my dear, how do you deal with self-hatred?”

Dear Mick, (& let’s face it, the rest of us),

There’s good news & bad news.

Let’s start with the bad, because it sells better.

We hate ourselves because of
certain opinions
we developed about ourselves

far away

babes

These opinion of ourselves
have evolved into our personal gods.

 

And you know what the appetites of gods are like.

Today I am presenting ideas from the (highly recommended) book Identity (Robert Fritz & Dr Wayne Anderson), cooked in my own style with extra spicy ingredients.

Now let’s get down and dirty.

We pretty much all have opinions of ourselves that are
so (personally) heinous …

 

… that we have no choice but to create
their ideal opposites …

 

… just so we can live
with “ourselves”.

If I have the opinion that I am a ‘bad’ person, I will spend my life working to show that I am its ideal opposite – a ‘gooood’ person. All my actions will be based on proving what a good person I am.  I probably won’t even be aware of any of this.

Now I want to take this one step further & introduce an even tougher mix.

If we are many selves & these selves have different histories (as per The People You Are – Rita Carter), then what if a number of our selves have heinous opinion issues?

It would be no wonder that life
is so hard & messy &
we often seem to act
downright weird.

I personally worked with Robert Fritz’s wife to uncover my opinion of myself & it was really useful.

However I was also left with another opinion that I couldn’t make disappear. It was something that repeatedly came up for me. Only now by considering that we are multiple selves & that some of these selves may have distorted opinions can I make sense of this other point of view which I couldn’t find a home for.

Let’s say you have seven selves & two or three have serious opinion issues, doesn’t that start to make sense why you are often such a nut job and can seem so inconsistently triggered by a strange variety of things?

The really bad news is that by running from these …

sobbing

opinions of yourself
& basing your entire life around
forcing yourself to live up to …

man of the west

their opposite ideals,
you have
turned

blind

 them

jove

into gods.

And gods as you know, are immortal.

So you need to understand that you cannot kill these suckers off. Ever.

We might say that, in a nutshell you’re fucked, locked into a game you can’t win by ideas about yourself you didn’t even know existed.

Now the good news.

Outside of that nutshell …

 

… there’s another world.

You see the things about god’s is that they are not based in reality.

These opinions of yours are not based in reality, which is why they can’t be killed off.

Struggling against them just feeds them.
Camouflaging them with ideals just feeds them.

Understand that you have made them immortal in your world.

Yet they have no concrete reality, they are paper tigers.

However these paper tigers are powered by your sense of Identity.

When you make life all about …

about you

you,

back again
… THEY LIVE

So we have to find a way to be ok with our true opinion of ourselves. And believe it or not it doesn’t matter what you think of yourself, this has no effect on you creating a life you’d be proud to show off, even while cringing about your supposed lacks as a person.

If I have the opinion that I’m an idiot I can have a good life.

If you think you are worthless and can’t have a good life.

You just have to take yourself out of the equation & stop making life about you & how other people see you. Instead you put your time, energy and focus on the outcomes in life you want.

 

Now let’s bring in another necessary ingredient.

I asked you last time what message did you receive from your parents / family?

 

What was the overall sighed-message about your darned existence.

The reason was as follows.

Brain scanning research was done on a group of people. First they were asked to think of themselves and a certain part of their brain lit up. Then they were asked to think about a stranger. A different part of their brain lit up

The third time they were asked to think about their future selves. Now for quite a lot of them the area had lit up when they thought about strangers, lit up again. This means they imagined their future selves as a stranger.

Holy fuck!

That’s really scary.

Because we either don’t care about …

 

or fear,
strangers

We certainly don’t create our life with them in mind. Yet this is exactly what we need to be doing.

So what answer did you come up with for that parental reaction to your existence. You may find that that is how you address your future self.

As an example my future self has always been a nuisance. When current me has to do something for this future self …

ma-wear-e1518998692868.jpg

… it’s ‘such a nuisance’. It feels like a ‘waste of time’.

Yet I have the best photo in the world of me holding my newborn son, & I think it was because then I had a future to work for.

We must regain our futures. We must work for our futures.

Identity is so much about me-now.

If we see our future selves as strangers we are not going to engage with them, yet I think it is they who can save us.

A little extra to finish.

I have been considering that we may actually be born with our selves in place. That they make up the very structure we think is us, just as different organs make up our body.  When we are young we are happy with our selves & give all full expression

selves.jpg

… no matter what they were like.

However because we grow up in a society that is inhuman, these selves did not receive the nourishing experiences they sought.

Gradually we accepted society’s views that we were just ‘one’ person & so denied these selves the right to their own existence. Imagine denying your …

missing

… liver or intestines their existence.

Part of this was done by making our selves embarrassing & personally painful.  Ideals (which as we know are impossible to achieve) were forced on us, & we began to fault our ‘selves’ for not making this impossible grade.

Why might that programme of selves-devaluation be in place?

Perhaps because these selves have powerful gifts and abilities.

I have a bad/bold mouth that I spent a lifetime trying to keep shut because it burned people with truth and then I was left alone. Long ago I learned to despise that mouth, that speaker, for the pain she caused me. Why couldn’t she speak the way other people did so I could be liked & popular.

That’s how twisted this can all become & why we need to check what we are shunning.

Another possibility is that a gestalt of selves may be required …

all pieces.jpg

… to activate particular abilities unique to each of us, even though some of these selves may be less than likeable.

Here’s an example.

I remember Matt Delooze talking about an ayahuasca ceremony he took part in. He was told that while some of the people seemed like a bunch of self-centred pains in the ass, they nevertheless carried the required symbolism to make the ritual a success.

So what if the personal aspects of ourselves that we really don’t care for actually carry a symbolism/energy that can allow the other selves to fully activate the gifts they have.

What if the ones we hate are necessary pains in the ass?

~  ~  ~

 

February 19, 2018. Uncategorized.

15 Comments

  1. Mick replied:

    I stare into the silvered surface
    Eyes cocked and locked
    Ready for combat
    Jaw set
    Not as desperate as Dan’s
    But blunt enough for waves to break upon
    As self meets self in mutual contempt
    Twisting and coiling like frenzied adders
    Unsure of whether they promise passion or death.

  2. Mick replied:

    “It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” ― John Guare, Landscape of the Body

  3. AMComix NZ replied:

    Ahhh leave it to Mick to leave the first comment! :-) I was re-reading, as I do, for more in depth breadcrumbs to follow…so many masks, so many different selves for different people. Alas, I’d had such a mouth too, when it came to telling it “as it is” the plain facts, the plain truth, and that one was the one people didn’t seem to want to be around, I can relate to what you said.

    It sounds like Robert is onto something, and I hope the library gets his book! I may have to ask them to! :-) If these different selves did not get the nourishment they sought or needed, we have been starving on every level. Including our spirit bodies perhaps!

    Thanks for the self reflection we all need!
    Cheer mon ami!

    • Mick replied:

      I was hoping for a prize, lol, but that is the article itself :-)

    • alex robinson replied:

      Hi Michael, yes so much starvation – getting our food in all the wrong places & most likely trying to digest it in the wrong orifices too. A great book but of course like all info it’s the reader who brings it to life. Cheers my friend

  4. Mick replied:

    From ‘Entity Possession’ by Samuel Sagan:

    “On the astral level you are not a person, you are a mob.

    For most people, the perception of themselves is in reality a perception of their astral body, or rather their astral body’s reflection in their physical – mental consciousness.

    If they were to see their astral body for what it really is, they would see not one person but many persons, which we could call sub-personalities or characters…They are not like different provinces that constitute a state, but more like birds of different species artificially kept together in a cage, competing and fighting each other.” Page 47

    • alex robinson replied:

      Very interesting …

    • AMComix NZ replied:

      Okay Mick, that’s the first time I hear about that…though I have done some more NDE/Reincarnation research…I’ll have to check that one out…however, the general consensus on the Astral and Sub-Astral realm is to stay the heck out of it. Cheers! (Perhaps that restful dreamless sleep Franz Bardon spoke of exists)

      • Mick replied:

        Bit difficult that, since we’re already immersed in it :-)

      • AMComix NZ replied:

        Agree to disagree on that one Mick….Feeling yes we are in and of both worlds, Heavenly and Earthly…tied together, but I think that Sub Astral (though I know peeps can travel in it and wander thru it) not meant to be us in there, I see it as a Limbo stop over.

  5. Mick replied:

    “Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.’ It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.’” ― Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller

  6. Mick replied:

    You know, there is always that hidden ‘parent’ who keeps care:

    “You must never feel badly about making mistakes … as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.” ― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

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